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Old 10-18-2019, 08:33   #4
Box
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 5,905
RANT MODE ACTIVATED.

More and more in our modern society we are exposed to stories, quips, anecdotes, tales, studies, reports, and even research papers by “experts with a serious message to Army Commanders
More often than not, these mother fuckers are telling us that “It's time to use science” to help solve some random type of military problems.

Well, I am fucking sick of it and I have my own message for experts that continue to mentally masturbate with their ability to solve military problems using science and philosophy…

GOOOOOOO FUCK YOURSELF.
GO FUCK YOURSELF RIGHT IN YOUR OWN ASS
DO IT
DO IT NOW


Let me offer a little reflection on historical events for these scientists that think we should use a little science to better manage our “long” foot marches and tough operational requirements….

In 1780, a group of farmers walked halfway across what it now Cherokee County North Carolina wearing nothing more than shitty wool clothes and homemade leather shoes. These fucking hillbilly patriots worked from sun up to sundown without a philosophical kale-eating, smoothie drinking, calorie counting, scientist telling them that they were over exerting themselves.

These patriots carried what they owned and wore what they had and walked the fuck across Cherokee County because it had to be done. When the fighting got so close that they could see the crooked teeth of the loyalist troops, they stopped marching and started shooting. When they ran out of powder and ball, they started beating people to death with the butt of a musket – a state of the art weapon crafted from iron and wood.
Science? "Injuries are the No. 1 medical threat to readiness," Jones said.

These farmers didn’t have science and readiness meant keeping your fucking powder dry. Injuries were just an inconvenience - they had fire in their belly and a fucking job to do.
And do you know what they did when the smoke cleared?

WRONG – they did NOT eat an energy bar or read a fucking science book about ice baths and Swedish massage, nor did they read a magazine article about cross-fit, nor did they drink an after-workout-recovery-shake..........
.......these men quenched their thirst with some unfiltered creek water, they killed a few squirrels, shot a few woodpeckers, they brewed up some tea using that dirty-assed creek water, they milked a cow, and then they sat down around a campfire for a fucking celebration feast. They soothed their nerves by throwing back a few bottles of rum to help them get to sleep…

Then they got up the next morning and walked the REST of the way across Cherokee County so they could get to Cowpens before those traitorous bastards fighting for England, and they did the same shit all over again – shoot up all your ammo, beat the survivors to death with the butt of your rifle – find something to eat, toss back a few sips of rum and get ready to walk the fuck over to Guilford County.

"Musculoskeletal injuries -- due mostly to training and vigorous operational activities -- are the biggest portion of that problem."

Musculoskeletal injuries my lily white ass!!!! Vigorous operational activities, contrary to what these self-absorbed disconnected super-food eating (probably even democrat-voting) asshole scientists might think, are NOT the biggest problem facing an Army at war. The biggest problem is a slow death from an infection because a rusty spike pretending to be a bayonet was thrust into your abdomen. The problem is a hot lead ball lodged in your chest cavity. The problem is bleeding to death because a cannon ball just ripped the lower half of your leg off.
…but hey, science says we should take it easy on folks in the name of readiness.

These men were fueled by piss and vinegar not RedBull and fair trade coffee. Their bodies were powered by meat and beans - not tofu and MuscleTech. They didn’t “slow down” because their feet hurt – they pressed on because there was still killing that needed to be done.
Science?
Science my ass.

yOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
Hard men don't look at the skinny guy that can't carry a heavy pack over difficult terrain and rough obstacles as someone that needs to visit a Wellness Center - Hard men don't look at a disgusting fatbody that can't keep up as a man that needs to do less work so he can feel better about himself - they saw them as weaklings that would better serve the war effort by staying home with the women and tending to the farm.
Wellness centers and easier PT?
That makes about as much sense as putting a one legged hermaphrodite in charge of a butt fucking contest.

Jesus H. Christ on a stale Ritz cracker BatMan - You’ve Got To Be Fucking Shitting Me




rant mode deactivated

We now return you to our regular scheduled programming.
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Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

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Last edited by Box; 10-18-2019 at 08:43.
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