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The law should apply not only to sit-down restaurants, but to bars and fast-food restaurants as well. Think of how many drunkards and dope smoking hippies are collecting and disposing of plastic straws after they get a sack full of Taco Bell at 3am. Think about how much plastic is being wasted as little more than garnish in a watered down jack-and-coke at the local bump and grind on a payday weekend.
Those irritating little fucking umbrellas should be added into the bill along with those stupid little plastic pirate swords that are offered as tooth picks...
...and while I am on the subject, toothpicks should also carry harsh punishments. Just swish some organic, natural, gluten free, vegan mineral water through your mouth and everything should be good. The rain forests are being clearcut just so meat-eaters can pick at their teeth.
Jail time should accompany these offenses.
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