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The pandering to free stuff America is embarrassingly obvious but it is the government we as a nation deserve.

Allow me to share an old fairy tale that my mom used to read me when I was little. It is purely fiction and has no real similarities to the current state of the USA or the political state of health care in America.

So I bring to you, the story of the peasant and the stab wound....


There was once a nation of random people. Some of them were common peasants, some of them were powerful, arrogant, despicable, elitist, liberal minded shitheads, and some of them were court jesters and minstrels. The court jesters and minstrels were sometimes disrespectfully referred to as Hollywood actors and the mainstream media.


The powerful, arrogant, despicable, elitist, liberal minded shitheads decided that it was the governments job of dictating the type of stab wounds that would be levied against the peasantry...
...they said it would not be a deep stab and they would allow the peasants to pick between three different knives of increasing price and quality. They said it was a great idea to let YOU pick the blade, and then THEY would stick it to you. You still said you didn't want them to stab you in the ribs. They replied that EVERYONE would get the same stab wound and as a result, the economy would grow (after all-we gotta buy a lot of knives to stab folks with). The kings court subsequently accused the peasants of being racists for not openly celebrating the kings new stab-wound initiative.

The kings court took pride in their self-proclaimed commitment to sticking it to the people. (for discsussion sake, lets just call them dimwitcrits) They even told the peasants that "if you already have a knife, that you could keep your knife".

...however, they forgot to tell you that "THEY" would not be getting similar stab wounds because they were on a different stab wound plan
(one that your tax dollars are paying for of course).
They also forgot to tell you that there would be tax penalties for not buying one of the preselected stabbing knifes. You told them you still did NOT want to get stabbed, and you certainly didn't want to be forced to PAY for the blade they wanted to use to stick you with.
-The kings court subsequently accused the peasants of being racists for not openly supporting passage of the kings new stab-wound initiative.


They set up a multimillion dollar website for you to visit to pick out and purchase a blade for them to stick in your ribs. They even promised that poor people would get free knives. You still said "no... I don't want to get stabbed in the ribs."

They decided to take a vote and since "YOU" didn't get to vote, only "THEY" got to vote, it was an overwhelming victory since only the people who DIDN'T have to get stabbed in the ribs got to vote. When you went to the website to begrudgingly purchase your knife, the website didn't work. The phone number to call the helpline didn't work. You elected NEW people because they promised not to stab you in the ribs.
It didn't matter because the new members of the kings court decided that it was a bad time to change their mind. Too much money had already been spent buying knives. Oddly, many of the people that really did want to get these cheap knives, couldn't afford the knives. Some folks hated the knives so much that they just refused to buy the knives and instead, paid the fines because the fines were cheaper than the knives in some cases.
The jesters and minstrels subsequently told stories and sang songs about how the peasants were racists for not openly celebrating the kings new stab-wound initiative.


Eventually, these cocksuckers got their way and they stabbed you right in the mother-fucking ribs...
...you told them it would hurt and cause you to bleed, but in a one man one vote democracy, you were outvoted. As a result, you now have a fucking knife wound in your thorax. It doesn't seem to be fatal and your life is not in any immediate danger but everyone realizes that that stabbing everyone in the fucking ribs didn't turn out like they promised.

In fact, everyone was in agreement - "this stabbing peasants in the ribs with a big assed knife" idea was a colossal failure of common sense. "We should stop stabbing peasants in the ribs"......

There was much discussion and lots of harrumphing....

" harrumph - harrumph
harrumph - harrumph harrumph
- harrumph -
- harrumph - harrumph"


One particular breed of rib stabber (for the sake of argument lets just call them republicants) made it a point to rally loudly around the effort to do away with all of this unwanted rib stabbing. Now, the republicants have taken control of both houses of parliament as well as the royal palace and change is sure to happen as soon as the new king is coronated....

...except for the fact that the waves and waves and waves of court jesters and minstrels have danced and sang so loudly about how the peasants and republicants were racists for not openly celebrating the kings new stab-wound initiative that it scared and intimidated some of the republicants.
...it scared them to their bones.

In public, the republicants cried out in fornt of their constituents, "we will remove the knives from betwixt the ribs of our esteemed countrymen so that the healing can being" but in private there was much harrumphing....

" harrumph - harrumph
harrumph - harrumph harrumph
- harrumph -
- harrumph - harrumph"


The republicants began to waver saying silly shit like, "maybe we should wait to remove the knives until we have something else to stick in the wound"

...others lamented, "lets not just remove the knives just yet-the wounds will be clearly visible and the peasant will be able to see how treacherous we have all been"

...some proclaimed, "we shall remove the lesser knives, but the nicer more finely crafted knives should remain"

...the weakest of heart, those republicants with the most fractured moral compasses simply held quiet, worried that the waves of court jesters and minstrels would dance and sang that the republicants were racists for trying to rob the peasants of their free knives that they were forced to pay for.


Alas, it seemed as though the dimwitcrits would eventually triumph as they awarded themselves with fine ribbons for service and golden trophies for a lifetime of achievement and they smote the weak and ineffective republicants and the nation of peasants lived on with their festering stab wounds - frustratingly ever after.





I hope you enjoyed this little tale. If you'd like to make a donation to my foundation let me know and we can exchange PayPal information.
Thank you and good night.