Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
I need some advice. My sons (ages 14 and 15) are attending a brick and mortar school for the first time. As former home schoolers there's a lot to adjust to. Their teacher is former military, a good man who cares about his students. His form of classroom discipline is this: one messes up, everyone pays. It's not harsh, but there are no excuses allowed. (I think it's a good thing, actually.)
I've had a hard time explaining to them why their teacher has chosen to give everyone punishment when only one or two kids are goofing off. It's not fair to those who are doing the right thing (which my boys are doing). They've gone from mildly confused at this, to plainly annoyed at the kids who cause everyone to suffer.
What can the guys do? Obviously leaning on the slackers is what the teacher intends, no? Group pressure? How would you advise your own kids in this situation?
Thanks,
Susan
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I had a similar situation when I was a kid. My first time in public school was 7th grade. I went from "big boy rules" to mass punishment and it was a culture shock for me. In one class, my teacher made everyone write 500 sentences because two kids would not stop talking during class. As everyone wrote, I sat still and didn't say a word. I didn't write. I just stared straight ahead. This caught the teacher's attention and she asked me why I wasn't doing what she said. I told her that if I'm going to serve any sort of punishment it will be for something I did wrong, not for something that others did.
So, I humbly and respectfully refused to do what she said. Long story short, she took me into the hallway and we had a lengthy talk about it. To my shock, the teacher apologized to me and told me that mass punishment was not something she preferred but it was something she was directed to do by the school. I asked her if she always did what she was told or if she ever stood up for her beliefs.
Many years later she became the superintendent of schools. I stayed in touch with her. She told me that day had a profound effect on her. She changed many of the policies regarding group punishment and I forever think of her. As a 12 year old kid in a new school, I was scared to death defying her but my grandfather taught me that you have to stand up for yourself and others even if you stand alone. I'm not sure what the climate is for your kids or how the administration would respond to civil disobedience, but in my situation it was positive.
Best of luck to you and your kids. I fully understand the frustration you must be feeling. Hang in there!