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Had similar questions while drafting my resume, and was told:
- If you feel you're bragging, back off the adjectives and just explain what you did (it's not bragging if you actually did it);
- The history of "what you did" examples will show a pattern; it's the pattern of performance hiring authorities are looking for, not the superawesome bragidocious adjectives which they see right through anyway;
- The resume is your advertisement to get called for an interview, no more no less, so ensure it explains your accomplishments in language civilians understand, and in a way they can easily predict desired future performance based on what you've done.
A good reference for words and writing style to convey the above while not being boastful is "Military Resumes and Cover Letters" by Carl Savino, Maj, USAR (ret) and Ronald Krannich, Ph.D.
The balance of whether a resume or person comes across as confident or arrogant seems to hinge on whether someone is or is not willing to learn more. Arrogant braggarts know they're the smartest ones in the room and communicate they don't think they need to learn from others. If your resume expresses a lot of great things you may worry it comes across as boastful, but if it also shows a willingness to keep learning and improving it will come across as skilled and confident, not arrogant.
Best of luck.
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