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I'm Wealthy!
Silver in the hair...gold in the teeth...crystals in the kidneys...sugar in the blood...lead in the @$$...iron in the arteries......and......an inexhaustible supply of natural gas.
Wow! I never would have thought I'd ever accumulate such wealth. 
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“Sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than a whisky bottle in the hand of (another)… There are just some kind of men who – who’re so busy worrying about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results.” - To Kill A Mockingbird (Atticus Finch)
“Almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.” - Robert Heinlein
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