[Nightfall]

I don't pretend to have the slightest clue what you are going through psychologically, nor do I say this from the perspective of a person who has been a QP. I'm only interjecting my two cents in because of the comments of things outside your control bothering you and making yourself mentally prepared. Regarding those things, I offer a couple of quotes for you to think on while you get ready for the trials ahead. I read a lot of philosophy, perhaps too much, but I've found the Stoics reasonably applicable to real life, particularly the work of Epictetus. Reading his disertations have helped me throughout my life, and I keep them close at hand for my upcoming personal journey into military life.

The couple that come to mind while reading this are:

"So when the crisis is upon you, remember that God, like a trainer of wrestlers, has matched you with a tough and stalwart antagonist... that you may prove a victor at the Great Games."

As well as,

"When I see anyone anxious, I say, what does this man want? Unless he wanted something or other not in his own power, how could he still be anxious? A musician, for instance, feels no anxiety while he is singing by himself; but when he appears upon the stage he does, even if his voice be ever so good, or he plays ever so well. For what he wishes is not only to sing well, but likewise to gain applause. But this is not in his own power."


If I have overstepped, I apologize in advance. Again, other than what I've read here I know nothing of your circumstances. I only know that this stuff has helped me in the past, and I'm sure will help me in the future. Hopefully it will put you in the right frame of mind for what you have to come and help you as it does me. As Wet Dog stated, the residual will eventually go away, and as stated, will in the end make you better. Regardless, good luck, be safe and thanks for your service.