The problem I have with Ms. Noonan's contribution to the "Things aint like they were in the good ol' days" narrative is that she hearkens back to a past that never existed for many, if not most, Americans. In the heyday of American gentility, millions of citizens had to take on the chin being called by their Christian names--or out of their names entirely--regardless of their own preferences.
Cultural practices are constructs and that just because a construct prevails for years, decades, or centuries, does not mean that it was formed by "agreed-upon rules."
As for the rest, we in service industries need to remember that the customer may not always be right, but the customer is always our customer. That is, until she decides to be someone else's customer.
(That is, unless you want to find someplace to park other than at my facility--it's the only game in this part of town and I'll patiently help you develop other options until you figure that out.