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Found Wanting · 12-08-2009, 13:47

The following is a copy of a letter sent to a recruiter with the Roanoke Rapids unit, to which I have still not received a response. I have called him back and left messages and not heard back yet. Any thoughts and ideas are greatly appreciated. I am about to just finally accept the fact I can’t get in because I look bad on paper!

My apologies if my call earlier interrupted you. Again my name is F W, I live in Blank, NC and I received your number from MSG Edwards. I was discharged from the Army National Guard June 05, honorably but with an RE-3 code; I was 11B/M. Initially I was content with things and didn't give a second though to the end of my military service. I had just graduated from Appalachian State University and had landed a job with a fancy title "Industrial Engineer." After about 4 months I became discontent and since then I have been haunted, as I call it, by something. From that job I went on to get my broker's license and worked as a Realtor, then carpenter, then started on my Masters and now I am a Deputy with Blank County Sheriff's Office. I am happy, I enjoy my job, my wife has a good job, she teaches high school history, I enjoy sleeping in my warm bed with her, playing with our son, all those little subtleties Americans can sometimes take for granted. Still I am found wanting, something feels missing and unfulfilled in my life. I think I have always know what it was but was able to suppress it long enough to preoccupy myself with something else just long enough to forget it. None of these vocations seem to hold a true job satisfaction for me like serving. But feelings of which I speak do not go away with such ease; they resurface time and time again for me. So I went to the local National Guard to see about getting back in. Overall he was useless. I suppressed my feelings for a while, and then I found I had a neighbor who was a regular Army recruiter. We talked a lot about my situation and he said, "I'll do all I can to help you, which is at least get you to MEPS." He did what he said and I did go to MEPS, this was almost 2 years ago now. Well things went well at MEPS; I received all 1s on my PULHES; except that one little 3 that found it's way in there. Eyes equaled a 3, and it shouldn't even be eyes, it's just one eye. In my right eye I have scar tissue from an accident; something non service related that happened after I enlisted the first time. Something that I was able to hide for a while, but not long enough to avoid a "medical" discharge. That's another story itself. Back to MEPS; I was told I'd need a waiver for the eye. "No big deal," said one of the staffers. "If Doc Chaney was still here, but that new woman doctor is something else," said the staffer. Well sure enough he was right, I never even spoke to the woman doctor about my eye, I was just handed a print out that read; "The enclosed request for medical waiver has been reviewed and disapproved. The peculiar rigors of military training could further aggravate the medical condition in this case causing the high probability of subsequent lost time and/or assignment restriction." I would like to tell you that the accident with my eye occurred in 2002 and at the time it was 2008. Six years had passed and no change, no further aggravation of "the medical condition." Six years in which I had swam, skied, skydived, shot, drove, lived and no change, there will be no change for the better or worse; it is what it is. We left MEPS, came home, I drank beer and took that to be the last straw, my definitive "NO, you will never get back into the Army!" Like I said, it's been almost 2 years. I stopped working on my Masters and went to Basic Law Enforcement Training. I figured a career in law enforcement was parallel enough to the Army. I have worked as a Deputy for over a year now and am still haunted. I discovered the Special Forces Guard unit in Roanoke Rapids and have a strong desire to serve with them/you. I won't delve into my feelings but what I need is that definitive "NO" or an opportunity to be assessed and prove myself. Until then I am found wanting and not weighed; I can not be at peace with myself.
I realize this is a lot to throw on you out of no where, but can you please help me? I am willing to drive down for an interview, go to drills prior reenlistment and take part in the SF Indoctrination Program, anything for a shot to prove my salt.

12-08-2009, 13:47	#1
Found Wanting Asset Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC Posts: 0	A last attempt to reenlist... The following is a copy of a letter sent to a recruiter with the Roanoke Rapids unit, to which I have still not received a response. I have called him back and left messages and not heard back yet. Any thoughts and ideas are greatly appreciated. I am about to just finally accept the fact I can’t get in because I look bad on paper! My apologies if my call earlier interrupted you. Again my name is F W, I live in Blank, NC and I received your number from MSG Edwards. I was discharged from the Army National Guard June 05, honorably but with an RE-3 code; I was 11B/M. Initially I was content with things and didn't give a second though to the end of my military service. I had just graduated from Appalachian State University and had landed a job with a fancy title "Industrial Engineer." After about 4 months I became discontent and since then I have been haunted, as I call it, by something. From that job I went on to get my broker's license and worked as a Realtor, then carpenter, then started on my Masters and now I am a Deputy with Blank County Sheriff's Office. I am happy, I enjoy my job, my wife has a good job, she teaches high school history, I enjoy sleeping in my warm bed with her, playing with our son, all those little subtleties Americans can sometimes take for granted. Still I am found wanting, something feels missing and unfulfilled in my life. I think I have always know what it was but was able to suppress it long enough to preoccupy myself with something else just long enough to forget it. None of these vocations seem to hold a true job satisfaction for me like serving. But feelings of which I speak do not go away with such ease; they resurface time and time again for me. So I went to the local National Guard to see about getting back in. Overall he was useless. I suppressed my feelings for a while, and then I found I had a neighbor who was a regular Army recruiter. We talked a lot about my situation and he said, "I'll do all I can to help you, which is at least get you to MEPS." He did what he said and I did go to MEPS, this was almost 2 years ago now. Well things went well at MEPS; I received all 1s on my PULHES; except that one little 3 that found it's way in there. Eyes equaled a 3, and it shouldn't even be eyes, it's just one eye. In my right eye I have scar tissue from an accident; something non service related that happened after I enlisted the first time. Something that I was able to hide for a while, but not long enough to avoid a "medical" discharge. That's another story itself. Back to MEPS; I was told I'd need a waiver for the eye. "No big deal," said one of the staffers. "If Doc Chaney was still here, but that new woman doctor is something else," said the staffer. Well sure enough he was right, I never even spoke to the woman doctor about my eye, I was just handed a print out that read; "The enclosed request for medical waiver has been reviewed and disapproved. The peculiar rigors of military training could further aggravate the medical condition in this case causing the high probability of subsequent lost time and/or assignment restriction." I would like to tell you that the accident with my eye occurred in 2002 and at the time it was 2008. Six years had passed and no change, no further aggravation of "the medical condition." Six years in which I had swam, skied, skydived, shot, drove, lived and no change, there will be no change for the better or worse; it is what it is. We left MEPS, came home, I drank beer and took that to be the last straw, my definitive "NO, you will never get back into the Army!" Like I said, it's been almost 2 years. I stopped working on my Masters and went to Basic Law Enforcement Training. I figured a career in law enforcement was parallel enough to the Army. I have worked as a Deputy for over a year now and am still haunted. I discovered the Special Forces Guard unit in Roanoke Rapids and have a strong desire to serve with them/you. I won't delve into my feelings but what I need is that definitive "NO" or an opportunity to be assessed and prove myself. Until then I am found wanting and not weighed; I can not be at peace with myself. I realize this is a lot to throw on you out of no where, but can you please help me? I am willing to drive down for an interview, go to drills prior reenlistment and take part in the SF Indoctrination Program, anything for a shot to prove my salt.
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