[1stindoor]

I was reminded yesterday that I still haven't posted my eulogy to Shawn. I apologize for the delay as I've been wrapped around axles here at Taco Tech.

Anyhows, here's the majority of my remarks at graveside...

I don’t even know where to begin. My wife Angela will tell you that before I left for the Sergeants Major Academy, I told her that this was my greatest fear. That I would have to bury Shawn. All of us from 785 and the SF community that served with him…are left with a hole in our hearts at his loss.

I look out among his family and friends and I only hope that I can do justice to Shawn and honor his memory.

As I look to Jessica, Katie, and Colin I see Mac. And for those of us who knew him; to know Shawn is to know Jess, Katie, and Colin. Because no conversation from Mac was ever uttered, that didn’t somehow tie back into his wife and children. There are people he came in contact with that never knew him before or his family and yet would know Jessica and the kids at first sight because of Shawn. Complete strangers to you…know you and love you and have you and your family in their prayers because they knew Mac’s whole world revolved around you all. That was the essence of Shawn…his love for family. His laptop was a constantly moving slideshow of pictures of his family, and more than once he had been caught doing nothing but watching the images slide across the screen with that goofy little grin on his face, that said everything was right in his world.

I was blessed in 2005 and offered a chance to take over 785 as the team sergeant. Before I really began my tenure though I had already gotten a phone call from Shawn letting me know that he had passed Dive School. I extended my congrats and having not met him formally yet, I asked a few questions. I found out that this wasn’t his first attempt or his second. He even managed to break his own hip while fining. And while I admit that was pretty funny to me, what I recognized from this phone call was one of his other attributes that endeared him to me…he wouldn’t quit. Period. He was going to push himself to finish anything he put his mind to. And then I got to know Shawn better.

I found out that he joined after September 11, 2001. He not only joined the Army knowing we were in Afghanistan and Iraq…he joined Special Forces ensuring he would find himself in one or both of those countries. Not only did he volunteer for the Army, and SF, and airborne, and dive school. He also volunteered for Jumpmaster, Dive Supervisor, and other schools….And then I got to know Shawn even better.

I found out he wouldn’t stop talking either. Mac would speak his mind, it didn’t matter if it was in a team room full of guys that had been around for awhile and he was brand new from the course…thus earning him a word limit for the day (which is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard), or if it was around senior officers and sergeant majors. He was going to tell you his opinion. You didn’t have to agree with him, you didn’t have to like it, you didn’t even have to acknowledge he was talking directly to you…he was going to get his two cents in.

I found in Shawn…myself. We both had the same affliction. I think Ron White said it best, “We had the right to remain silent…what we lacked…was the ability.”

I was fortunate in that I had team sergeants that looked after me and tried to protect me from myself. Even as a team sergeant I said and wrote and condoned things that were less than appreciated at higher levels…thankfully I had senior NCOs that kept me from harming myself or others. I wanted to give back to those leaders by helping Shawn. I wanted him to be able to accomplish anything he wanted in life. I envied the future he had in front of him, as I knew my team life was coming to an end. I wanted to live vicariously through him…and the rest of the team. I have carried an enormous sense of pride in everything they’ve accomplished.

Shawn and Jimmie were the best engineers I have ever worked with. They complimented each other’s strengths and weaknesses perfectly and made my life and the rest of the team’s so much easier. Everyone’s quality of life in Afghanistan was greatly improved because of their work around our base camp. Even though Shawn’s abilities as an engineer were so evident I knew there was so much more he could accomplish. I pushed him towards the Intel job because I saw in him the ability to understand complex problems and come up with workable solutions. I still regret this decision. Even though he was quite competent at the job, I took away his tool belt, his faded t-shirts, his half slung worn jeans that showed his “carpenter’s crack” and the sawdust out of his hair. He threw himself into the school and learned the job…but I knew that this wasn’t his niche. He was doing this for me…and I loved him for the trust he gave me.

I will never forgot just how blessed I was to have had the opportunity to have Shawn on my team and more importantly manning my .50 cal on my gun truck during our deployment to Afghanistan in 2006. Sean Mullins, Chris Tonsmeire and I all have probably suffered hearing loss as a result of Mac’s ability to make that gun reach out and touch someone. And all of us are probably here because of Mac. Finally, I want to share something that was posted online from one of the many men that Shawn touched over the years. This came from someone I don’t know that apparently worked in Key West when Shawn was going through the course.

When SFC McCloskey came down to go through the Combat Diver Qualification Course he had a pretty decent initial performance level compared to his peers in the class. At some point (and I can't remember what event caused it) Shawn became one of the many that end up getting hurt while going through the training. Somehow, he had hurt his hip and we (the Instructors) could see both a change in his performance and a noticeable limp coming from "Mr. McCloskey". As each day went by, we could see his injury get worse and worse and you could see the level of pain that he was enduring above and beyond what pain you are normally feeling during CDQC training. When he was in the water, his performance level was well within the standards that we had set for each training event. It was his performance during the out of the water events that became a problem. What stood out to all of us was "Mr. McCloskey's" unbelievable positive attitude, personal motivation, and intestinal fortitude which definitely motivated and inspired the entire SFUWO Committee. It got to the point where we would have instructor meetings after every event to discuss "Mr. McCloskey's" performance and also his level of injury. We wanted to let this guy continue (there was no way he was ever going to quit!) but we were very worried that he was going to cause some permanent damage to himself and ruin his body. Shawn was at the point where he could barely walk when we pulled him out kicking and screaming. He was literally dragging his leg behind him just to get around. When we (Doc Rob Price) finally dropped him for medical reasons, Shawn was upset but totally understood our reasoning for pulling him out. The class had just started introduction to the DRAEGER LAR V UBA. SFC McCloskey was told that he was to go home and heal up and then come back to finish the course. He was the first CDQC student to qualify for a new change in policy where we had decided that if a student was dropped for admin or medical reasons, the SFUWO Commander could give the student a letter inviting him to come back and pick up with the phase that he left off at. This meant that Shawn did not have to go back through the pool training and could come back and join a class starting with open circuit training. When he came back, Shawn was still sporting a slight limp. He came back and displayed the same personal motivation and intestinal fortitude that inspired us all before. We were all very proud to punch that bubble into his chest on graduation day. Later, he came back and became a Dive Supervisor. I saw him just a couple of months ago at Womack when we were both waiting at the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions and had the chance to hang out and talk with him for about 30 minutes. He still had a slight limp.
Shawn was the best kind of Green Beret, the real deal and a great person as well. I just wanted all of you out there to know how he inspired and emotionally moved the entire SFUWO Committee at one point because of his unbelievable attitude.
Rest in Peace Brother! You are one of the best!
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I am so deeply sorry for the loss of Shawn. This past week has been very hard on my family, and me and there have been a lot of tears shed. As I look out to his Jessica, Katie, Colin, his family, and friends, I know that I am not alone in my grief, and I know that nothing I’ve said here can ever make up for that emptiness we all feel. I can only hope and pray that as Shawn looks down on us he knows that all of us have been touched in a way that can never be replicated and that our lives are richer because of his love for us.

Thank you.