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09-09-2009, 21:39

I was on 361 back in the 90's, so some of the 3rd Groupers will remember a detachment commander we had for a little while, "JD". He had quite the reputation for doing retarded things and he began the first time he walked in the team room an announced, "Howdy shipmates, I'm the new boss."

I hate to bash him because he was a nice guy, he was not a dumbass, although he did some of the stupidest shit I ever saw...he was just way out of his element being a soldier, much less an SF guy. Zero situational awareness...

These are just a couple of work stories about that clown.

JD incident #1: A week after JD signed in Kensinger held that famous group in-ranks dress greens inspection (1994?) that took a couple of hours. The new captain was late...VERY late. Kensinger was inspecting 355 (next was 356 then us for inspection) when JD runs up to the formation and bumps the Team Sergeant breathing hard.

I hear people behind us snickering, then a I hear this deep growl from Perry telling him to get his sorry ass inside the team room and don't go anywhere and that he better be running.

About the time Kensinger finished up with 356 and was rolling around the turn to inspect 361 JD was just scooting inside the company front door with 2/3 of the battalion in stitches.

I don't know if Kensinger saw his green jungle boots or not, but everybody else did.

JD incident #2: We are in Antigua for our annual MAROPS train-up/certification and it's JD's first time out with the boys. We were launching off Zodiacs 10k out then swimming back in on a budline for one of our certification tasks. We went over safety before we loaded the Zods...nobody had any questions, so we launch. JD said he had done it all in the National Guard....

I got paired off with the new captain at the #3 position on the budline. Tm Sgt tells 1's to go and they jump off the boat, 2's go (Tm Sgt). I wait a few seconds and tell JD to go and we both jump in.

I see the other 4 guys when I come up but no JD. Thank goodness for him that water is clear. I look down and there is JD looking at me from about 5 feet below the surface with his eyes as big as pie plates blowing bubbles out like an idiot probably yelling "HELP!" or something.

I ditched my gear and got to him at about 10 feet down and he almost drowned me and the safety swimmer pulling him up to the boat.

First, he was asked why he did not pop his CO2. It seemed he popped it the day before on the water jump so his harness wouldn't sink and forgot to get a new one.

Next he was asked why his gear was so heavy. He had a bright idea in concept, but the execution could not have been worse. He was out sight-seeing and missed the classes for waterproofing his shit and he missed how to make his gear neutral buoyant. He figured he would double up a trash bag and fill it with cinder blocks (I mean FILL it) and tie it off.

JD's logic:

Cinder blocks = weight = pull down
+
Air in trash bag tied off = balloon = float
=
Neutral buoyant

Then he was asked why he didn't just ditch his gear...it was all tied to him with square knots.

It was a damn good thing it was not a night swim or he may not have made it home from that one. He was bound to his gear and he was going down with it.

I'm just glad we never had to go to combat with that guy.

09-09-2009, 21:39	#13
rltipton Guest Posts: n/a	I was on 361 back in the 90's, so some of the 3rd Groupers will remember a detachment commander we had for a little while, "JD". He had quite the reputation for doing retarded things and he began the first time he walked in the team room an announced, "Howdy shipmates, I'm the new boss." I hate to bash him because he was a nice guy, he was not a dumbass, although he did some of the stupidest shit I ever saw...he was just way out of his element being a soldier, much less an SF guy. Zero situational awareness... These are just a couple of work stories about that clown. JD incident #1: A week after JD signed in Kensinger held that famous group in-ranks dress greens inspection (1994?) that took a couple of hours. The new captain was late...VERY late. Kensinger was inspecting 355 (next was 356 then us for inspection) when JD runs up to the formation and bumps the Team Sergeant breathing hard. I hear people behind us snickering, then a I hear this deep growl from Perry telling him to get his sorry ass inside the team room and don't go anywhere and that he better be running. About the time Kensinger finished up with 356 and was rolling around the turn to inspect 361 JD was just scooting inside the company front door with 2/3 of the battalion in stitches. I don't know if Kensinger saw his green jungle boots or not, but everybody else did. JD incident #2: We are in Antigua for our annual MAROPS train-up/certification and it's JD's first time out with the boys. We were launching off Zodiacs 10k out then swimming back in on a budline for one of our certification tasks. We went over safety before we loaded the Zods...nobody had any questions, so we launch. JD said he had done it all in the National Guard.... I got paired off with the new captain at the #3 position on the budline. Tm Sgt tells 1's to go and they jump off the boat, 2's go (Tm Sgt). I wait a few seconds and tell JD to go and we both jump in. I see the other 4 guys when I come up but no JD. Thank goodness for him that water is clear. I look down and there is JD looking at me from about 5 feet below the surface with his eyes as big as pie plates blowing bubbles out like an idiot probably yelling "HELP!" or something. I ditched my gear and got to him at about 10 feet down and he almost drowned me and the safety swimmer pulling him up to the boat. First, he was asked why he did not pop his CO2. It seemed he popped it the day before on the water jump so his harness wouldn't sink and forgot to get a new one. Next he was asked why his gear was so heavy. He had a bright idea in concept, but the execution could not have been worse. He was out sight-seeing and missed the classes for waterproofing his shit and he missed how to make his gear neutral buoyant. He figured he would double up a trash bag and fill it with cinder blocks (I mean FILL it) and tie it off. JD's logic: Cinder blocks = weight = pull down + Air in trash bag tied off = balloon = float = Neutral buoyant Then he was asked why he didn't just ditch his gear...it was all tied to him with square knots. It was a damn good thing it was not a night swim or he may not have made it home from that one. He was bound to his gear and he was going down with it. I'm just glad we never had to go to combat with that guy.