[olhamada]

From my 15 yeras in Mamphas:

I be cumin on - Menstrual cycle

I be runnin off - Diarrhea

I have high blood - Hypertension

I have low blood - Anemia

I have sea horses in my liva - Cirrhosis

I have fireballs in my eucharist - Uterine fibroids

I be gripin - Stomach ache

My baby be havn sick as hell disease - Sickle Cell Disease

I be havn smilin mighty Jesus - Spinal Meningitis

My baby have 65 roses - Cystic Fibrosis

I have shugga - Diabetes

I don't drink no alcohol, only a couple qurters of Colt 45 a day.

Can you look in my era?

Why do ya wanna know whera I be stayin at?

Then there was the patient that kept getting recurrent vaginal yeast infections after using contraceptive jelly. It was Welch's grape flavored - honest!

And the teenager that got pregnant on birth control pills. Only problem was, she was inserting them vaginally after sex. Hmmmm......

Gotta say, I learned a helluva lot and had some incredible patients - some that still keep in touch 10 years later.