The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS
office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with
his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by
saying that you win money gambling.
I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How
about a demonstration? '
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite
my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw
drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I
can bite my other eye..'
Now the auditor can tell that Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes
the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The
stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three
grand , with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get
nervous.
Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six
thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and
pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a
drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach
the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates
all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned
a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his
hands.
Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa
told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five
thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over
your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
Don't Mess with Old People!!!!!!
GB TFS
