Helluva letter. Must be one helluva wife. Congrats Brendan.
TR
http://www.fayobserver.com/article?id=293900
One man's words helped put husband's actions in perspective
Margaret O'Connor
In the many years that I have written this column for the paper, I have spoken often of my family and my husband. I have never, however, spoken about his wartime deployments or shared what I am about to divulge.
Primarily, I never wrote of his absences because of the need for keeping a low profile, but secondarily, and perhaps more important to me, was the need to protect my heart.
My husband, Master Sgt. Brendan W. O’Connor, was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross on April 30 for what he did in Pashmul, Panjwai District, Kandahar Province, Afghanistan, in June 2006. It was an intense few days of heavy, sustained fighting that resulted in five losses (two American and three Afghan National Army) one severely wounded American, and many awards for valor.
My husband never told me what he did that day. He never spoke of it. I heard stories from others in 7th Special Forces Group about what Brendan had done. As the picture started to come into focus, I was left with two very distinct thoughts. A dueling dichotomy was waging war in my heart.
First, I thought that what I was hearing was completely in keeping with the man I know and love. No surprises here. Second, the wife and mother of his four children kicked in, and I wondered, “What the hell were you thinking? You have a wife who adores you, a daughter who needs you to walk her down the aisle someday and three boys who still desperately need your guidance. What on earth were you thinking?”
In my head, I knew that not thinking about us at that particular moment is what probably kept him alive. Distractions, even familial ones, can be costly when you are in battle. My head got it, but it took my heart a little longer to catch up. It got there eventually, with the help of one very unlikely source, retired Staff Sgt. Matt Binney.
He does not know this, but Binney is the primary reason why I did not throttle my husband when he returned home safely from Afghanistan. It was Binney’s words that rang in my ears in the days and months that followed that horrific battle. Just his very presence was enough to put it all in perspective, but his words sealed the deal.
You see, my husband, Brendan, led a quick reaction force to retrieve two injured soldiers who lay seriously wounded and exposed to the enemy. It was my husband who attempted to crawl across an open field to the wounded soldiers. After a few meters, he realized that his heavy load was too burdensome and was creating too easy a target for the enemy. Brendan returned to cover and did what most people say was unthinkable. He removed his body armor, all of it, took a deep breath and started crawling again, crossing the 80-meter open field, alone, toward the wounded.
Hundreds upon hundreds of bullets were fired at him and literally mowed down the grass all around him. He knew that as a medic, he had to get to these men and help them if they were to have any chance at all for survival. Binney and Sgt. Joseph Feurst were severely wounded with little possibility for survival until Brendan finally reached them. He tended to their wounds as best he could and rallied Binney to start moving towards cover. Feurst was unconscious, and Brendan had to carry him to cover. Methodically, they made their way to safety.
Feurst did not survive. His wounds were too extensive. I remind my husband daily that through the sorrow of this loss, he should remember that he gave a widow and a family a body to lay to rest. What the Taliban would have done had they captured his body is something no family member should ever have to endure.
Binney has survived and is in school and studying medicine . He has a new son with his beautiful wife and a long and prosperous life ahead of him. By the way, Binney’s words that still ring in my ears were spoken to me while I visited him at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. He told me, “Brendan did not think about you during that firefight because he did not have to.” He said, “Brendan knew you were strong and capable enough to handle any outcome of that battle.”
Forty years to the month after his father‘s death in Vietnam, Brendan received the Distinguished Service Cross for actions on the field of battle. A rich family history of service and sacrifice rounds out a truly remarkable man. If you ask him, he will tell you he was just doing his job and that anyone else would have done the same. I heard him say “I am humbled to walk in the presence of heroes.” I will agree with that. Thank you to all who serve, you do us proud. Peace to all.
Margaret O’Connor can receive messages at
military@fayobserver.com or 486-3585