Quote:
Originally Posted by Mustang66
The biggest thing I can input is to demilitarize it as much as possible.
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I agree, unless of course you are dealing with military related positions. I can read all sorts of things into your bullets. You need to cut down on some and tell what you did and makes you best qualified for folks looking for those particular achievements/skills. Your comment about real world experience in radio communication in stressful and dangerous stituations does not paint enough of picture for someone who does not understand what you are talking about. You want something like: Was able to establish and transmit vital information in a class 4 monsoon, while modifying my half wave lenght antenna to compensate for a thining F1 layer, water running down the crack of my butt, firing my wpn with one hand, tapping out 22 wpm with the other, while directing my indigenous counterpart to pick the leeches off my eye lids so I could direct him to provide covering fire. That establishes the parameters of stressful and dangerous. Someone in LA reading your original comment might think you are talking on a cell phone while weaving in and out of traffic something more akin to Jason Stratham in one of his movies. Some yuppie in NYC might think you are caught in rush hour traffic, talking on your bluetooth, while balancing a cup of coffee late for a sushi bar appointment with your bosses daughter. Things like proven leadership capabilites-what did your proven leadership capabilities accomplish, ie, how did you enable your subordinates to succeed and at what. Just from my standpoint there is a lot of good information but no substance to show why you are the
MAN for the position. Things like "posses strong oral and "written" skills-in compared to what? If you go back to your training and think about the bullets as tasks that are vital for you to perform for this job, just add the rest of the information that shows you exceeded the standard and can work above the conditions lesser mortals might not find tenable. I don't just want to know that you can just do "things" I want to know that you can meet or exceed the expectations of perfomance under the conditions I am going to need you to operate within my organization. Just my observations for what they are worth.