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**Pete** · 10-23-2007, 17:18

OK, you asked for it.

About 1 1/2 years ago, I might have told it here, I was sitting at my desk working about 2 hours after dark. The wife and kids are upstairs near the back of the house - This was before TS's SureFire Light sale cause my 5 D Cell Mag Light figures into the story.

The wife hollers down the stairs that the dogs are up to something and that I had better take a look. So I pick up the 5 Cell and head out the back door. Yeah, the dogs are raisin' all kinds of heck out in the dark corner of the yard. I go over and they are circling something so I put the light on the spot. It was a big fat possum curled up on it's side, tongue all hangin' out.

I shout up to the women folk that is just a possum and I need and extra set of hands. I glance up at the upper windows and all I can see is eight eyeballs looking over window sills at me - no help from that quarter.

So I come back in, dogs still raisin' heck, get a double plastic bag, shovel and head back to the possum still layin' where I last saw him. So here I am, the dogs still nippin' in and out, possum on the ground and I only have two hands to hold the flashlight, bag and shovel while trying to move the possum. "HEY - I CAN USE SOME HELP DOWN HERE" - eight eyeballs continue to peer over the sills. RATS - never will be any help from that quarter.

So after some juggling I get the shovel under the dead possum and start to lift up, HISSSSSSSSS - that critter wiggled of the shovel with a hisss, all snarly and evil eyed. WHAM - I smacked that dude right on top of the head with the shovel. He was layed out flat on the ground. OK, he's dead, went to pick him up again and danged if he didn't sit up and snap at me and wiggle off the shovel again. Man that shovel travelled a good 270 degree arc as I swung it just as hard as I could from waaaaay back, over my head and smack on top of his head. I swear I heard bones crunch.

This time there was no movement as I loaded him into the plastic bag. Since it was Sunday night I took him around to the green rollout for the mornings pickup. Excitment over the eight eyes came down and wanted the full story.

And that should be the end of the story but.........

The next morning I was taking the last bag of trash out to the can and as I lifted the lid the Possum reared up on top of the trash just like Godzilla and started a hissin' and clawin'. I slamed the lid down right quick and hauled the whole mess to the street.

A couple of hours later I heard the garbage truck comming up the street. So I leaned back and looked out my front window to see what was going to happen. The guy rolled my can up to the back of the truck and went to flip the lid up. As he filled the lid up the Possum leaped up and did the Godzilla thing again. The guy launched into the air and I swear he cleared the top of the truck and landed by the front bumper. The driver is looking at him like he's an idiot, while he is pointing at the back of the truck and jabbering.

They go to the back and dump my neighbors can and then try and use shovels and rakes to knock the Possum off the trash in my can but only knock him off into the bottom of the empty can. By this time the driver just kicks over the can, the Possum rolls out into the street with his head all twisted off to one side, the trash truck moves off and I have to wipe tears from my eyes I'm laughing so hard.

I never did see that Possum again in my back yard.

10-23-2007, 17:18	#3
Pete Quiet Professional Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Fayetteville Posts: 13,080	Possum Story OK, you asked for it. About 1 1/2 years ago, I might have told it here, I was sitting at my desk working about 2 hours after dark. The wife and kids are upstairs near the back of the house - This was before TS's SureFire Light sale cause my 5 D Cell Mag Light figures into the story. The wife hollers down the stairs that the dogs are up to something and that I had better take a look. So I pick up the 5 Cell and head out the back door. Yeah, the dogs are raisin' all kinds of heck out in the dark corner of the yard. I go over and they are circling something so I put the light on the spot. It was a big fat possum curled up on it's side, tongue all hangin' out. I shout up to the women folk that is just a possum and I need and extra set of hands. I glance up at the upper windows and all I can see is eight eyeballs looking over window sills at me - no help from that quarter. So I come back in, dogs still raisin' heck, get a double plastic bag, shovel and head back to the possum still layin' where I last saw him. So here I am, the dogs still nippin' in and out, possum on the ground and I only have two hands to hold the flashlight, bag and shovel while trying to move the possum. "HEY - I CAN USE SOME HELP DOWN HERE" - eight eyeballs continue to peer over the sills. RATS - never will be any help from that quarter. So after some juggling I get the shovel under the dead possum and start to lift up, HISSSSSSSSS - that critter wiggled of the shovel with a hisss, all snarly and evil eyed. WHAM - I smacked that dude right on top of the head with the shovel. He was layed out flat on the ground. OK, he's dead, went to pick him up again and danged if he didn't sit up and snap at me and wiggle off the shovel again. Man that shovel travelled a good 270 degree arc as I swung it just as hard as I could from waaaaay back, over my head and smack on top of his head. I swear I heard bones crunch. This time there was no movement as I loaded him into the plastic bag. Since it was Sunday night I took him around to the green rollout for the mornings pickup. Excitment over the eight eyes came down and wanted the full story. And that should be the end of the story but......... The next morning I was taking the last bag of trash out to the can and as I lifted the lid the Possum reared up on top of the trash just like Godzilla and started a hissin' and clawin'. I slamed the lid down right quick and hauled the whole mess to the street. A couple of hours later I heard the garbage truck comming up the street. So I leaned back and looked out my front window to see what was going to happen. The guy rolled my can up to the back of the truck and went to flip the lid up. As he filled the lid up the Possum leaped up and did the Godzilla thing again. The guy launched into the air and I swear he cleared the top of the truck and landed by the front bumper. The driver is looking at him like he's an idiot, while he is pointing at the back of the truck and jabbering. They go to the back and dump my neighbors can and then try and use shovels and rakes to knock the Possum off the trash in my can but only knock him off into the bottom of the empty can. By this time the driver just kicks over the can, the Possum rolls out into the street with his head all twisted off to one side, the trash truck moves off and I have to wipe tears from my eyes I'm laughing so hard. I never did see that Possum again in my back yard.
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