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Told to me by a Jesuit on a golf outing
A man walks into the confessional and sits down. The priest in the booth recognizes him immediately and asks "Hey there Jimmy, what seems to be the problem?"
The man responds by saying, "You know, I've been trying for a long time now to clean up my bad language. I'm generally doing a good job, but I really let go on the course the other day."
"Well, explain what happened," said the priest.
"I teed up on the first hole and put my drive straight into a tree. The ball bounced back and rolled to a stop right at my feet."
"So is that when you started swearing?"
"No Father, I teed it back up and hit it into the same tree again, and this time a large bird grabbed my ball in its beak and flew away."
"Oh Jimmy, you must've been swearing bad at that point," said the man's priest.
"No, that wasn't it either. The bird flew all the way to the green and dropped my ball no more than eighteen inches from the hole."
"Oh Jimmy," said the priest, "You missed the fuckin' putt."
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War is the remedy that our enemies have chosen, and I say let us give them all they want.
General William T. Sherman
In a man-to-man fight, the winner is he who has one more round in his magazine.
Field Marshal Erwin Rommel
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