Jokes
 

A young man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and that he would have to return the next day.

"What for!" he snapped at the judge. His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud, "Twenty dollars for contempt of court! That's why!" As the young man reached for his wallet, the judge relented, "That's all right. You don't have to pay now." The young man replied, "I know. I'm just checking to see if I have enough for two more words."

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Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."

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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

definition: : mixed emotions:

Watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new car. :p

DAMN! I just bought that car! :D

Bonus points if you can name the author...
 

What does a goldfish and a laser-beam have in common?


...neither one can whistle. :D

So what do I get if I get this right? Is it Robert A. Heinlein's book "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" :rolleyes:

You get Bonus Points; congratulations. :D

Heinlein's "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" is correct.

Just got done reading it. Loved the joke, and the book.

Couldn't resist posting it. :)

--Aric