Newly Married
 

The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, “Honey, I’m going to Hank’s Tavern to have a beer. I’ll be right back”.

“Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife

“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face,” he answered. “I’m going to have a beer.”

The wife said, “ You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, ect.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “ Yes, lollipop… But at the bar… You know… they have frozen glasses…

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, puppy face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors-d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”

“You want hors-d’oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 4 dishes of different hor-d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps and little quiches.

“But my sweet honey… At the bar… You know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”

“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? Listen up, chicken shit. Sit your sorry ass down, shut the hell up, drink your Fu%*in’ beer in your stupid frozen mug and eat your dumb ass hors-d’oeuvres right here because you’re f*#ckin’ married now and your sorry ass is soo not going to any damned bar. That shit is over… Got it, dumb ass?”

And they lived happily ever after.



LHC

Uh, oh. I know who that happened to, Tim. :D

Pat

ha, she said 'poo'

:D

S

Shit that sounds like my last Ex Wife.

:p:p:p

SF_BHT: You passed the test. :D

For you young guys thinking about the SF life, but your reading this because the wife won't let you out tonight. Here's some advice, don't drop a packet.

PSM: You know me, I hardly ever get out for fresh air.


LHC

Back in my drinking days at a bar onetime one of my girlfriends yelled a bunch of profanities at me and then threw a full bottle of Budweiser at the windshield of my Ford pick-up while I was sitting in it. Everyone at the redneck establishment thought it was pretty funny.

Later we laughed about it too after we calmed down. :D :p

"Road trip!" [we need one of those ROTFLMAO smilies] ;)

BTW, you are the only guy I ever knew that got lost taking a taxi! :D

Pat

And then corrupted an SFer and his son! :D

And said SFer moved to Texas shortly thereafter. :eek:

Pat

Me??:confused:

It was a strip club not a bar anyway.

You got married in a strip club? How awesome was that!

Bachelor part AND Wedding at the same place ... at the SAME time ....

CoooOOOOOoooooolllllllllll........ :cool: :lifter :cool: