Medical report giggles.
 

Glad to see we here in the States aren't the only ones who mess up on reports/PCRs. :D

Actual notes from Mpumalanga (South Africa) Hospital records:

1. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only 11kgs weight gain in the past three days.
5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. The patient refused autopsy.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

Great, Will share.. :D

Sounds like my office

Did Stephen Foster's kin migrate to South Africa?
 

....The sun so hot, I froze to death, Susanna don't you cry...

The funny part is I can see how the mistakes are made. Choosing brevity over clarity will get you every time.

25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

This one is just scary!

MEDICAL REPORT GIGGLES
 

Thank you, SDiver! I haven't laughed so hard since I don't remember when.
(My late sister would have loved these. She was an RN.)

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid...

Hope the doctor had small hands and skinny fingers....

And a looooong arm!