Why women shouldn't take men shopping against their will!!!
 

I am sure you all have had this sent to you in email at least a time or two. It a good one!! Enjoy! :D

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is ike most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 .July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the?security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14.October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least ..

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

I had not seen those before...hilarious!

Not Bad, never got that one yet.:D

Yet? Are you working on it? :D

Yehhhh a blonde just sent it to me....

A blonde huh? Well, I KNOW you are not talking about me, my good man! :D

I really wish there were more husbands dragged to my store. It makes my shenanigans go less noticed.:D

I hate shopping...........:rolleyes::eek::p

GB TFS:munchin

My sister 1 week ago rode to Macy's with me and she could not figure how in 15 minutes I bought 4 sets of towels a new suitcase and 2 shirts and was ready to go. She asked if she could look at a pot in the kitchen section and 40 min later I drug her out and she still had not bought anything. I was getting a lot of looks as I waited for her.

Well, this might come as a shock to you but I am one of those females that HATES, I MEAN WITH A PURPLE PASSSION, to shop! You won't find me near any sale. To me, they are necessary evils and half the time you don't get what you pay for anyway! It's like doing laundry, if there was a device that could just read my mind or scan my closets and cupboards and "get'r done" for me, life would be much more serene. If I do go into a store for "window shopping" it's usually to Bass Pro Shop or Cabelas with my BF, NOW that is FUN!

Like you SF BHT, I get what I need and get the hell out! I have gf's that live by the motto "Born to Shop". lol

this should clarify some things

Rogue! LOL I am really beginning to question myself as a female...jeesh! I follow the "male" side of that map. LOL

You are not the only female with this issue... ;)

:lifter :D

LL