The Bird
 

One winter, a little bird decided not to fly south for the winter. When the temperatures got below freezing, he said, "f*ck this, I'm going south!" He tried to fly, but his wings were iced and he couldn't fly. He just sat there freezing to death. Along came a cow and dropped a pile of crap right on him. The steamy shit defrosted his wings and warmed him up, so he started to sing. A big cat walking past heard the singing, found the bird and ate him.

The morals to the story:
1. He who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. He who digs you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
3. If you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.