WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
 

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Winston Churchill

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
Winston Churchill

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
Clarence Darrow

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?
Ernest Hemingway

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time in reading it.
Moses Hadas

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Abraham Lincoln

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
Oscar Wilde

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend... if you have one.
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.
Winston Churchill, in response

I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.
Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
John Bright

I've just learned about his illness. Let¹s hope it¹s nothing trivial.
Irvin S. Cobb

He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.
Samuel Johnson

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.
Paul Keating

He had delusions of adequacy.
Walter Kerr

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
Jack E. Leonard

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.
Thomas Brackett Reed

He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.
James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.
Charles, Count Talleyrand

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
Forrest Tucker

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
Mark Twain

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
Mae West

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever...
Oscar Wilde

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
Billy Wilder

These are great!

Thank you. I do have to say, I was hoping for at least one from Yogi Berra.

RF 1

Ahh love this list, been a while since I've read it. Some true classics on here!

One of my favorites was supposedly said by Winston Churchill at a dinner party. Lady Astor had been taken aback at some of his comments, and said - "You, sir, are drunk." Churchill supposedly replied, "Yes, madam, and you are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober."