You know you're from Colorado when....
 

Not to be outdone by Mr. Foxworthy's PNW list, I give you.....


You Know You're From Colorado When...


1) People move onto the freeway at 15 miles an hour.
2) You have absolutely no recognizable accent.
3) If the humidity gets above 25%, you consider it "muggy".
4) You only go to Central City when friends are in from out of town.
5) You have been skiing less than 10 times in your life
6) You think 5-points is a ghetto.
7) You are the third car to run a red light after it has changed.
8) You say things like "I don't care how big Golden is, it's still a one-horse town".
9) You think only stupid people get lost in your town.
10) When giving directions, you never say "Turn left, turn right", it's always go West, then South.
11) During a thunderstorm you wonder "which I-25 underpass is flooding".
12) You never plan a picnic between 3:30 and 6:00 in Spring or Summer months.
13) If it rains more than 2 days straight you compare the weather to being in Seattle.
14) You voted for higher taxes to fund Coors field, but voted down taxes for public transportation.
15) You have a broken windshield.
16) You see no reason to travel to Aurora.
17) The only RTD bus you've been on is the 16th Street shuttle.
18) You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car. (Or it could be a TV show)
19) You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.
20) You think "South Park" is a place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.
21) You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.
22) You have a flat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.
23) You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.
24) You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.
25) You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.
26) You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.
27) You are 82 years old and take up snow boarding.
28) Your real Y2K fear was running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.
29) The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
30) You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth, but you tell all our house-guests to do it.
31) You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.
32) You think that formal wear is ironed denim.
33) North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all those damned liberals keep moving in from.
34) You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.
35) You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.
36) You see your East Coast relatives now more than when you lived there.
37) You think gun control is a steady hand.
38) You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.
39) You've stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight.
40) You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.
41) You're a meat eating vegetarian.
42) You think the major food groups are Boulder Bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer.
43) You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate your local sports team's victory.
44) You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
45) You know the correct pronunciation of Buena Vista.
46) When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.
47) Your car insurance costs more than your car.
48) You have surge protectors on every outlet.
49) April showers bring May blizzards.
50) You see someone riding a Harley in a snowstorm, and you look closer to see if it's anyone you know.
51) "Timberline" is someplace you have actually been. Many times.
52) You know what a "Chinook" is. You know what a "rocky mountain oyster" is. You know what a "fourteener" is. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.
53) A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does. This is a new one that we have to adapt to!
54) Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning-rod.
55) People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.
56) Thunder has set off your car alarm.
57) A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.
58) "Where we're going, we don't need roads!"
59) You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.
60) You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.
61) Driving directions usually include 'Go over ____ Pass...'
62) You've used "checking for ticks" as an excuse to get someone naked.
63) You've gone skiing in July. You've gone sunbathing in January. They were both in the same year.
64) You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream
65) You know the elevation of a town, but not its population.
66) You never pack away your coat and sweaters.
67) You can name only two people you know who were actually born in Colorado.
68) You call tumbleweed "groundcover".
69) You love your Broncos, your AVS, your Rockies, Nuggets - well you can't have everything.
70) You or someone you know plays golf 12 months of the year.
71) You don't have AC in your home, but you use it in your car all winter long.
72) If it snows in the morning you expect it to be gone by lunchtime.
73) You can name the states that make up the Four Corners.
74) You know what and where the Continental Divide is.
75) You actually get these jokes.

(edit to add a few more)

76) You know just what a "Boulder Bar" is.
77) You're able to drive 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a ragging blizzard and not even flinch.
78) You take your out of town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.
79) You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
80) You think sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel pajamas.
81) Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't/didn't seem strange.
82) You know who Alfred Packer was.
83) You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.
84) You'd be happier if you didn't know who Barbara Streisand was/is.
85) SPF 90 is not out of the question.
86) You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is.
87) You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into both oceans.



:lifter

88) You've ever done a naked snow-angel

20)
 

You think "South Park" is a place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.

You know that the best places to camp and fish are actually north of the border in Wyoming.

(What, did you think we didn't notice all the green license plates that come our way on Fridays during the summer??):p

Nothing about Trinidad CO? The sex change capital of the world?

I know people who said they don't even stop for gas in this town for fear of the dreaded "addadictomy". Dr. Biber (RIP)

I can't remember the last time I laughed so much.
Thanks for the reality check.

36) Relatives who lived within a county or two of me in NC came to visit me in Colorado, but never when I lived in Hope Mills....
50) I rode through a snowstorm on Wednesday...it's more a Harley-West of the Great Divide thing than strictly a Colorado thing...
53) That only applies to counties way east or west of I-25...
73) I've used the monument as a control point for a survey I did on the stateline between Utah and Colorado.
82) The student cafeteria at CU-Boulder is named for him...justifiably...

Trinidaddy
 

I know people who said they don't even stop for gas in this town for fear of the dreaded "addadictomy".


I don't think it's the "addadictomy" that has 'em worried, it's usually the dreaded "lopadicoffamy" that makes em run for the San Juans!

True Dat !!!! :D

Hell, when ever I drive south into NM, I usually go over the pass (see #61 above) and fill up in Raton. :D

....in July or August. :D

89) You know the wind is coming out of the North, because you can SMELL Greely in D-town Denver.

...or..."There's only 3 things in Golden: Coors Brewery, Colorado School of Mines, and the pipeline between them." :D

Grew up on the west slope.
Attended Colorado School of Mines.
Lived in Colorado from ages 2-30.

This list is so true.


90. You know where to break off of the tour at the Coors brewery to get to the free beer at the end.
(Mines students call this "Coors Lab")

91. Less than 100 miles visibility is "hazy".

Lived for a year at FT Fitz, and we would not walk on Colfax Ave after dark.

Watching Cops one evening after I returned home and see my buddies apartment complex get raided, the floor below him.

Added;
88: You know where Woody Allens "sleeper" house is.
89: You have worn all your cold weather gear in the 8 inches of snow in the morning and Pted in Shorts and Tshirt that afternoon when it was 75 degrees
90: The two beer drunk for newbies to Denver
91: You know who is burried on top of lookout Mountain

92. Riding in the backseat means sharing space with cold weather gear no matter what the season.

Thought of this one today when the old lady asked if I was going to leave the ice scraper, poncho liner, MREs, fleece smoking jacket, etc. in the back seat.

It is supposed to snow tomorrow.

....and yes, our dog, Cheyenne, was riding up front, face out the window with a scarf around her neck.

He's a CMH Recipient??

LOL Yeah nobody in Milliken can stand the smell of Greeley either. :D

It’s not just the Front Range either. My uncle swears he can smell Monte Vista as soon as he turns the corner in South Fork from Creed. Still, thank god for Monte Vista ...and Alamosa for that matter…otherwise you’d have to go clear to Walsenburg for parts.

Although if you need a $400 shell jacket, RV supplies, or Trout gear, they’ve got plenty in South Fork. But just try to buy a tire.

You can't imagine how annoying it is when I tell people that I'm from Denver. A common response is that "you must really like to ski". Um, yeah. Poor people don't spend a lot of time on the slopes. :rolleyes: