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- The Comedy Zone (http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=50)

- - SNOW!!!! (http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13488)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Flag 1 (Post 368501)

BWAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Missed this first time around, thanks for the bump.

Gotta go suit up for snow management chores:lifter: Fill-up the generators, fire up the snowblower, move the Kubota with the front-end loader up to the driveway, lube front-end loader, spray Pam on the snow shovels and snowblower augers, deploy VDOT snowplow deterrent devices (SDD), transfer funds to pay the fine for SDD use (cheaper than cost of and hassle of new mailbox), get out tire chains for wife's car, mount tire chains on wife's car so it will look nice and ready in the garage( she won't drive it in snow even with chains on), and secure enough beer to make snow management chores tolerable:D.

Don't ya just love the white stuff:rolleyes:?

RF 1

Got a great laugh and learned a helpful hint about shoveling snow...though I grew up in New England, I've never heard of spraying Pam on snow shovels before...thanks! I passed that one on to my teenagers for their use the next time I send them out to shovel the driveway.

i got stuck on Riley last nite and still cant get anyone to come and plow my parking lot. everyone is telling me to ask for help....i work in this building alone, i dont have anyone to ask for help. you wanna my WTF moment is. i work for firefighters....LMAO my day is great...:p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete (Post 368515)

My neighbor made it in along with two others. They were told post was closed and to go home.

They gripped about not being told earlier. They were told - "It was posted on Face Book". Evidently Fort Bragg is a Face Book member.

The medical personnel gotta love it when they're automatically mission essential and cannot be told to go home. Naturally, emergency service was swamped...as well as mother-baby :confused: :eek:

I just got around to reading through this thread again. Now that post has officially opened again. I got here Monday at 0730 while watching everyone else leaving post. As soon as I got to work I was told post was now closed. I stayed here until 0900 and then went home when the traffic was cleared.

I never have those kind thoughts when its going to snow/snowing. I absofuckinglutely hate snow and cold weather.

I truly enjoyed this post. I live/am from North Dakota where we tend to get a #@%! ton of snow! I swear on oath that those damn plow drivers to that exact thing! Thanks for the laughs, was in tears laughing at this one.

RC

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peregrino (Post 368496)

....Oh - forgot to mention - (wet dog)s stink.

I don't stink, do I?

If you want your house to stay clean, don't let me run around outside.

I guess I need to train the trainer, wait, I'm not a cat, "Let me out side, I gotta go."

Al Gore's Shell Game

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/...lobal-warming/

Hundreds of cars were stranded on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago, Wednesday, Feb. 2, after a winter blizzard of historic proportions wobbled the otherwise snow-tough city.
If the planet is warming, why is a third of America locked in a deep freeze, with record-low temperatures as far south as the Mexican border, where the thermometer in Ciudad Juarez plummeted Wednesday night to a bone-chilling 9-below zero?

Self-proclaimed planetary climate czar Al Gore thinks he has answer.

"As it turns out, the scientific community has been addressing this particular question for some time now, and they say increased heavy snowfalls are completely consistent with what they have been predicting as a consequence of man-made global warming," Gore write in a blog post. The Nobel Prize-winning former vice president was responding to a question posed by Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, who wondered on air why global warming was such an urgent science policy priority when the New York City area had become a “tundra” this winter.

Gore also indicated that he believes a rise in global temperatures is creating “all sorts of havoc,” from hotter dry spells to colder winters and ever more violent storms. This is even endangering certain species of animals and leading to forest fires and floods.

But not surprisingly, some climate-change skeptics are a bit hot under the collar over Gore’s “scientific” explanation.

“Gore’s statement actually indicates a deeper problem -- lack of precise predictions,” said Dr. William M. Briggs, a statistician and climate scientist. His research shows that there are no increased weather problems because of global warming, Briggs told FoxNews.com.

“He’s saying that anything bad that happens must be because global warming caused it. Activists like Gore are great at identifying events after the fact as being caused by global warming, but terrible at predicting them beforehand,” Briggs said.

Meteorologist Art Horn agreed, noting the extensive history of devastating weather over the millennia -- none of which he connects with global warming.

“If one actually studies the history of weather over the last 2,000 years, you see massive storms, amazing heat, brutal cold waves, devastating droughts, terrible floods and disastrous hurricanes -- none caused by global warming,” he told FoxNews.com.

“Gore has no appreciation for large natural variability in weather,” Horn said.

Other scientists were quick to leap to Gore's support, arguing that the extreme cold weather is a logical, expected outcome for our warming planet.

“It’s not hard at all to get temperatures cold enough for snow in a world experiencing global warming,” meteorologist Jeffrey Masters told FoxNews.com. “There will still be colder than average winters in a world that is experiencing warming with plenty of opportunities for snow.”

The contretemps over global warming and winter weather -- and the bickering among scientists about man's effect on the climate -- has had a profound impact on public opinion around the globe.

A January poll by Rasmussen Reports indicates that Americans are still more inclined to believe global warming is primarily caused by long-term planetary trends, although the gap narrowed a bit this month. But Americans don't blame global warming for this winter’s weather.

Skepticism is very clearly increasing overseas; a poll released this week by the Office for National Statistics in the U.K. indicated that the number of climate skeptics there had nearly doubled during the last four years. The proportion of people who said they were “not very concerned” about global warming now numbers more than one in five, the U.K. government said.

But many still argue that global warming is real, and the ultimate cause of the wretched weather. One environmental consultant pointed FoxNews.com to an article that detailed a polar bear's nine-day swim to find an ice raft for refuge -- due to global warming’s impact on the environment of Alaska.

Others take a less anecdotal approach, and say that pure science supports Gore's global-warming argument.

“It’s basic atmospheric physics,” said Meg Wilcox, a spokeswoman for Ceres, a national network of investors and environmental organizations. “Warmer air holds more moisture. This fact is apparent when you see water vapor hanging in the air after turning off a hot shower. When warm air holding moisture meets cooler air, the moisture condenses into tiny droplets that will fall as precipitation, rain or snow, depending upon atmospheric conditions.”

Warm air meets cold air seems simple enough. So why can't scientists agree?

If it all seems confusing and contradictory, other experts say, the real blame lies not with the climate, or with science, or even scientists or former politicians, but with the incompetent media for failing to provide critical context for readers.

“The last 2,000 years is full of incredible weather events that dwarf what we see today,” said Horn. “Nature isn't cooperating with the global warming camp and theory.”

He points to a New York Times story from the 1970s, which said the planet was getting so cold that humanity was in danger of starving to death. The article argued that the world’s weather would soon be so frigid that it could no longer permit the cultivation of crops for food. The Times’ headline on August 8, 1974, was simple enough: “Climate changes Endanger World’s Food Output.”

“First we were told the world was cooling. Then it was getting hotter,” Dan Gainor, a spokesman for the Media Research Center, tells FoxNews.com. “Then cooling again. Then hotter. Now it’s just climate change -- so they can’t be wrong no matter what change occurs.”

Denver, CO (this week)

Saturday was great, warm, sun, blue skies.

Sunday, cooling, sweater day.:rolleyes:

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, clear, windy, very cold.:eek:

Thursday, warm, (30 degrees), heavy wet snow.:p

Friday, suposed to be 50 degrees, well see.:munchin

I was sittin’ on the dock of the bay, wastin’ time, when I checked up on a local columnist I used to enjoy reading years ago in a “throw-away” newspaper they still litter our driveway with every Thursday. She was waylaid by snowmen and taken to the Mid-West over a decade ago but is still writing…with numb fingers.

Quote:

Snow days -- a short story
February 3, 2011
By Kathy Stevenson

The Day Before – Hello. This is The School calling to inform you that, due to the upcoming winter storm warning, school will not be in session tomorrow.
Please do not drop your child off at school "accidentally," on your way to your Pilates class, and then claim later that you never got this call. You know who you are. And so do we. This message will now repeat.

Day One a.m. – What a rare treat to have the little darlings home for a day. I will use this unexpected gift of time and make it a special day. Outside the weather may be frightful, but our day will be quite delightful. Let's see... First, I'll make everyone heart-shaped pancakes, then we'll snuggle up and watch a family movie. Or two movies – after all, we have all day! We can bake cookies later, then maybe a few games of Monopoly. Just some good old-fashioned family time.

Day One p.m. – The school called again with one of those damn robo-calls. Blah, blah, blah winter storm. I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have "snow days." And that was before global warming, when we used to have real snow. Hubbie was telling the kids the story of how he used to deliver newspapers on his bike in snowstorms worse than this. Then he got all huffy because they walked out of the room during the part where he had to dig in the snow when he dropped his dime tip from Mrs. Gianetti.

Day Two – Slightly hung over. I didn't think I drank that much, but the recycling bin doesn't lie. The day I start hiding bottles is the day I will admit I have a problem. But I know I don't, so what's the big deal. Hubbie is home today also, because no one can get anywhere. I can't think of the last time we were all together with no chance for escape! We have decided today will be "Puzzle Day." That is because no one will play Monopoly again with H. I didn't know this when I married him, but he has an irritating tendency to gloat when he has one over on you. He actually cackled with glee when he bankrupted sweet little J. She cried and asked, "Why is Daddy being so mean?" I said I didn't know.

Day Three – When the school message came in again last night I wanted to take the phone and smash it to a pulp. I mean it's Friday of a holiday weekend, which already means no school on Monday. No wonder our kids are lagging behind third-world countries in education. Today I will insist on everyone (including H) leaving the house to get some fresh air. I don't care if it is a wind chill of 10 below. Maybe they can build a freaking snow house and all go live there. Just kidding. Not really. Only 11 hours until cocktail hour. I will not lessen my personal standards just because the city is in crisis. Things could be a lot worse. I just saw a news report of a couple stranded in a Best Western with no heat or food. Uncharitably, I thought to myself, at least they're not with H!

Day Four – Saturday, and the sun is finally out. Unfortunately, the snow is now blowing sideways, and due to drifting, no one can get anywhere. I told H that maybe he could get his trusty bike out and cycle on down to Whole Foods, just like when he had his paper route. Luckily I bought the 1.75 liter size of Bombay Sapphire the day before the storm hit. A stroke of brilliance, if I do say so. Gotta go – I'm the Bingo caller for the family Bingo tournament, and quite possibly the only person in this family who doesn't cheat.

Day Five – I never realized it before, but in certain unfortunate ways, my children seem to have inherited many of H's family's habits and personality quirks. Nose-picking, slack-jawed staring off into space when being asked to help with chores, the aforementioned cheating (even at Candy Land, for Christ's sake), nervous throat clearing, and an inability to tell when they've worn an article of clothing too many days in a row without putting it in the dirty laundry. I really don't know how much longer I can take it. I had to stay on the elliptical from noon until six o'clock just to keep myself away from the liquor cabinet.

Day Six – Just saw a news report that nine months from now there will be a big blip in the population with a whole lot of "blizzard babies" being born. I glowered at H as he sat playing video poker in his ratty bathrobe. The gin is gone. Don't know if I can go on much longer.

Day Seven – Yippee! Everyone back to school and work today. Little J asked why Mommy was so happy, and I said because I love you and your brother and Daddy so much. So, so much.

Kathy Stevenson’s work has appeared in many major newspapers and magazines.

I vaaaaggguuely remember days like that. But I was the kid. ;) I did have a paper route, though. I don't remember even getting a dime tip. :mad:

Pat

Quote:

Originally Posted by RC-Cola (Post 371013)

I truly enjoyed this post. I live/am from North Dakota where we tend to get a #@%! ton of snow!
RC

Here too (Nov-May) and the regular minus double digits as well - now I know why every town in Montana has at least one bar.

pbr549xxx what u said, lookin' forward to gettin off this freezer this spring...

Whoever said the thing about the dogs and kitty litter has got the idea...pretty sad watching your dogs limp around trying to take a crap...

:D

Ummm, more freakin' snow!!!

Its snowing again here in Afghanistan too. Im ready for the heat.