Go Back   Professional Soldiers ® > At Ease > The Comedy Zone

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-15-2020, 22:43   #1
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 5,746
Airsoft the Greek Philosophizer

According to most researchers, Airsoft lived in Delphi in the year 2500 BC (Before Clinton). Airsoft is best known for his educational fables – most of his stories recounted the actions of common folk, supernatural animals, and inanimate objects that would speak, solve problems, and generally display oddly bizarre behavior. One of my favorite of Airsofts Fables when I was growing up was the story of The Non-Gender Specific Protestor That Cried Racist…

A non-gender specific protestor was participating in a peaceful riot near a private business not far from his own subdivision. Soon the non-gender specific protestor found life in the peaceful protest very dull. All the protestor could do for amusement was to play on a smartphone or toke on a crack pipe.

One day as the non-gender specific protestor sat watching the other sheep starting fires during the peaceful protest, the protestor started to wonder what would happen if a racist showed up at a peaceful protest - so the protestor immediately devised a plan for some self-amusement.

The community organizer had always told the protestors to call out “racist” if anyone with differing opinions should ever question the narrative of the flock so the Social Justice Warriors could come along and cancel them for questioning liberal narratives. So even though the non-gender specific protestor had not seen anything that even looked like a racist, the protestor ran through the crowd shouting as loud as possible, “Racist!! Racist!!”

As expected, the CNN reporters that heard the cry dropped their work and ran with great excitement in hopes of getting a video clip or soundbite for the 6 O’clock news. When they got there, they found the protestor doubled up with laughter at how easy it was to make fools out of field reporters. To cover their embarrassment, the reporters simply reported that the burning cars, shattered store windows, and constant parade of peaceful protestors with large screen TV’s were really just white supremacists paid by right wing talk show hosts to riot and blame the chaos on peaceful protestors…

A few days later the child again shouted, " Racist!! Racist!!” and again, the field reporters simply reported that the burning cars, shattered store windows, and parade of peaceful protestors with large screen TV’s were really just white supremacists paid by right wing talk show hosts to riot and blame the chaos on peaceful protestors…

The child continued this charade for days on end and every time, the field reporters simply reported that the burning cars, shattered store windows, the parade of peaceful protestors with large screen TV’s, and the rascals carrying cases of beer and cigarettes from the burning Circle-K were really just white supremacists paid by right wing talk show hosts to riot and blame the chaos on peaceful protestors…

Politicians began to kneel before the cameras to virtue signal how woke they were to believe the lying little attention-starved protestors even though it had become obvious that “Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K” Then one evening as the sun was setting behind the smoking remains of the urban landscape, a racist really did spring from the shadows and fell upon the non-gender specific protestor like a tankful of angry stingrays on the Crocodile Hunter.

In terror, the non-gender specific protestor ran toward the liberal field reporters shouting "Racist!! Racist!!” The CNN field reporters jumped with glee as they fired up their cameras to record the epic ass whipping being levied against the protestor…
…"Racist!! Racist!! Racist!! Racist!!” the non-gender specific protestor screamed in hopes of getting help form the media but alas, the media knew all along that the non-gender specific protestor was full of more shit than a 1000-gallon septic tank. The field reporter and camera crew were only there to get a video clip of a racist beating up a protestor.

The mob jumped on the racist and tore him apart like flying monkeys on a talking scarecrow. The CNN news crew recorded their footage, left the non-gender specific protestor beaten, bruised, and curled up in a ball on the dirty urine-stained sidewalk like a muddy poncho liner after a three-day patrol in the swamps. The news crew jumped in their van and high tailed it back to the gentrified section of town where they knew they were safe…

For the next three weeks the news station ran the video clip non-stop to prove that the violence at the peaceful protest was being caused by conservative talk radio and the NRA.

The moral of the story – if you go to a riot and instigate trouble – you might just get fucked up and left in the gutter.
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2020, 08:50   #2
bblhead672
Area Commander
 
bblhead672's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 1,585
Tell us another story Uncle Box
bblhead672 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2020, 05:40   #3
Badger52
Area Commander
 
Badger52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western WI
Posts: 6,817
"Yes, more please."

There should be a book of these.
__________________
"Civil Wars don't start when a few guys hunt down a specific bastard. Civil Wars start when many guys hunt down the nearest bastards."

The coin paid to enforce words on parchment is blood; tyrants will not be stopped with anything less dear. - QP Peregrino
Badger52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2020, 07:46   #4
JJ_BPK
Quiet Professional
 
JJ_BPK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: 18 yrs upstate NY, 30 yrs South Florida, 20 yrs Conch Republic, now chasing G-Kids in NOVA & UK
Posts: 11,901
Quote:
Originally Posted by Badger52 View Post
"Yes, more please." There should be a book of these.
The Box Book of Airsopica

Hardbound limited edition with illustrations
Attached Images
File Type: jpg box book 2.jpg (61.1 KB, 25 views)
__________________
Go raibh tú leathuair ar Neamh sula mbeadh a fhios ag an diabhal go bhfuil tú marbh

"May you be a half hour in heaven before the devil knows you’re dead"

Last edited by JJ_BPK; 07-23-2020 at 09:22.
JJ_BPK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2020, 08:50   #5
rsdengler
Area Commander
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,235
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJ_BPK View Post
The Book of Box

Hardbound limited edition with illustrations
LOL...Love it, but you'll make his head swell.....
__________________
“Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God and nature.”

-Benjamin Franklin

Rita
rsdengler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2020, 09:09   #6
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 5,746
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJ_BPK View Post
The Book of Box

Hardbound limited edition with illustrations
Just a warning - but some of those illustrations are going to be VERY NSFW.
...but since there seems to be a slight degree of interest, I offer another installment of Airsofts Fables. (As a bit of trivia, the overall collection of tales would be referred to as the Airsopica.)

Pay attention - because my next tale is unfolding across the country before your very eyes. It's called "The Liberal SJWs and the Citizens"............

A pack of dirty smelly Liberal SJWs with brightly dyed hair and angry faces lurked near the citizens homes but the Police kept them all at a respectful distance, and the mindless gullible citizens grazed on their gluten free vegan free trade organic meals in perfect safety. Undeterred, the Liberal SJWs thought of a plan to trick the citizens.

"Why is there always this hostility between us?" the Liberal SJWs proclaimed to the citizens. "If it were not for those racist, abusive, self centered, police constantly stirring up trouble and murdering innocent citizens that have never even been in trouble their entire lives, we would all get along beautifully."
The Liberals SJW's then marched to the local police precinct and set the building ablaze; quickly reminding the mindless gullible citizens "Don't you see, this is all because of the police...
...we are just peaceful protestors."


The mindless gullible citizens were confused because it was obvious that the Liberal SJWs were just violent lawbreaking assholes that set the city on fire but the mindless gullible citizens were too ignorant and cowardly to say anything in fear that the Liberal SJWs would accuse THEM of being racist, abusive, and self centered.

The Liberal SJWs were emboldened by the tacit support provided by politicians like Crazy Nancy and Fat Jerry and gave ultimatums to the terrified mindless gullible citizens: "Defund the police and you will see what good friends we shall become."

The mindless gullible citizens were easily fooled and quickly appealed to the Liberal SJWs that served in the city council and other government offices. They petitioned the closeted Liberal SJWs in government to make the police go away - far far away. That very week, the Liberal SJWs burned down MORE buildings, ripped down historic statues, defaced monuments, beat mothers in front of their children, killed children in front of their mothers, and even put a convicted domestic terrorist in charge of their financial interests. The Liberal SJWs were revealed to be like a pack of ravenous wolves feasting on the poor mindless gullible citizens as though they were soft, weak, helpless, and tasty - very tasty sheep...

The moral of this story?
-Do not give up friends for foes. Also, Liberal SJWs should be burned at the stake like witches in Massachusetts in the 1690s !!!





Editors Note: It is purely a coincidence that even in the 1690's the leadership in places like Massachusetts relied on the ignorant use of fire as a way of passing judgement on those people that held differing social values.
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing

Last edited by Box; 07-23-2020 at 10:13.
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2020, 14:37   #7
Badger52
Area Commander
 
Badger52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western WI
Posts: 6,817
Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
Editors Note: It is purely a coincidence that even in the 1690's the leadership in places like Massachusetts relied on the ignorant use of fire as a way of passing judgement on those people that held differing social values.
Flammenwerfer - It's not just for Tailgating.
__________________
"Civil Wars don't start when a few guys hunt down a specific bastard. Civil Wars start when many guys hunt down the nearest bastards."

The coin paid to enforce words on parchment is blood; tyrants will not be stopped with anything less dear. - QP Peregrino
Badger52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2020, 16:28   #8
bblhead672
Area Commander
 
bblhead672's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 1,585
Every day without Airsopica is like a day without sunshine, cigars and 12 year old scotch.
bblhead672 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2020, 20:04   #9
uberkamper
Asset
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: High Desert, Northern New Mexico
Posts: 21
Amazon's Top 10?
uberkamper is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:23.



Copyright 2004-2022 by Professional Soldiers ®
Site Designed, Maintained, & Hosted by Hilliker Technologies