Clinton Foundation Announcement

[JJ_BPK]

PSA
CNN has just announced a special report from the Hilary Clinton Campaign Foundation, 401C.

HRC has contracted with Prophet Alph Lukau, Alleluia Ministries International's of Ghana to review her options for the 2020 Presidential campaign.

The negotiations are being handled by the new NETFLIX-Obama organization.

Join me in wishing HRC the best of luck, She'll need it


link: article & video

[Box]

If White Nigerian Trump supporters can pull off a hate crime against B-list actors then a South African Holy Man can sure as shit resurrect a dead man. The Pastor will not be working on the Clinton Campaign directly; his assistant is reportedly busy crafting voodoo dolls that the Clintons will use to help unseat Mr Trump.

Kamala Harris saw the video and was quick to release her own statement claiming that she came from a long line of Jamaican VooDoo Priests and Priestesses that were also able to resurrect the dead - Retired Standford Professor Emeritus, Donald Harris (the father of Kamala Harris) quickly debunked her claim saying, "My daughter is full of shit - she descended from Jamaican slave owners - NOT dope smoking Rastafarian resurrectionists"

Liz' Warren attempted a resurrection procedure of her own by leaning on her Native American heritage but was only able to revive 1/1064 of the test subject.



Stories like this are proof from heaven above that there are some things money can’t buy...
...for everything else, there’s MasterCard

[JimP]

OK - dang it. I once again nominate Box for supreme omnipotent commander of the Universe.

Box...."The Country needs you..."

[tonyz]

Was that dude in the coffin Jussie Smollett in his new acting gig...?

[Box]

Was that dude in the coffin Jussie Smollett in his new acting gig...?

I thought the guy in the coffin was really dead. So, are you telling me that this was all just a hoax?
If so, Jussie Smollett can only dream that he had that guys acting chops...

I guess you want me to believe that pro wresting is fake too

[rsdengler]

LOL...Ha, Ha, Haaaa.....Box is "Da Man"...really, thanks for the laugh guys it was definitely needed today....Now, if pastor Alph Lukau can bring Ruth Bader Ginsburg back to life; that would really be something.....

[Box]

It's funny that you should ask about the possibility of pastor Alph Lukau bringing Ruth Bader Ginsburg back to life. I actually saw a documentary about Darth Bader Ginsburg - It is a very riveting story

Chuck Schumer Nancy Pelosi wandered into a DC area where they see deceased SCOTUS Judge, Darth Bader Ginsburg lying dead on an aluminum exam table. Chuck falsely claims Lord Bader is his aunt, so he can rifle through Lord Bader’s YUGE purse in search of a dossier that could be used to frame the POTUS. Initially the two found nothing more interesting than Lord Bader’s Platinum Visa – discouraged they shuffled back to the Capitol Building hoping that no republicans notice that they were missing – little did they know, but Lord Bader was one of the only people that knew where the legendary Lost Gold of the Clinton Foundation was buried and the evidence was still hidden in Bader’s YUGE purse.

When they returned to the Capitol Building, Chuck and Nancy were stopped by the head republican and quizzed by a congressional committee that asked if Cuck and Nancy knew anything about the Lost Clinton Gold that was hidden by Darth Bader Ginsburg. They denied knowing anything but the republicans knew better – the democrats were up to something. The republicans let them go but secretly appointed a Special Counsel to follow them in hope that they could find the treasure.

Later that night while eating an expensive dinner (paid for with the credit card stolen from Lord Bader's yuge purse), Chuck tells Nancy he found a shiny gold key to a treasure chest full of gold coins that Lord Bader has hidden in Jamaica. Nancy perked up because she knew that Jamaica was the homeland of a current US Senator, Presidential hopeful, and powerful VooDoo queen named Kamala-Mala Harris. Chuck begged Nancy to help find the treasure - she resisted at first but since she is old and crazy, she said ‘yes’ the third time he asked her.

Meanwhile, in a secret hideout in the Jamaican jungle, Kamala-Mala was hired by the Clinton Foundation to recover the dossier and the Lost Gold hidden by Lord Bader. Kamala-Mala sent two of her bumbling lackeys: James Comey and Andrew Mccabe - to travel to Washington DC to recover Lord Bader’s body. The two lackeys used a secret voodoo ceremony to reanimate Lord Bader’s corpse and bring her back to Jamaica to find the Clinton Foundations Lost Gold. Comey and Mccabes attempt to bring Lord Bader back were plagued by trouble but they eventually used the hidden basement dungeon of a DC Pizzeria named Comet-Ping-Pong to conduct the voodoo ceremony.

Quietly and slowly, Chuck and Nancy snuck through a hidden gate at the Pizzeria to get into the basement but on their way through the Pizza-Gate they lost their sacrificial chicken and had to use a pigeon instead. Using the wrong type of sacrifice caused the ceremony to go terribly wrong and as a result, when Lord Bader was reanimated, she was only able to move toward the Clinton Gold when she heard the mindless blubbering of anti-Trump bureaucrats.

Comey and Macabe might have been dirty cops – but they were pretty smart – so they used a stolen iPad to live stream internet videos of Congressional Democrats tearing their clothes and clutching their pearls while cursing the POTUS. It was enough to re-animate Lord Bader’s corpse, but Bader’s body dropped into a lifeless blob when Alexandria Ocasio Cortez ran up and snatched the iPad and disappeared into the underground subway terminal. In a panic, Comey and Macabe took off after AOC and the stolen iPad – leaving Bader slumped against the dumpster like a drunken protestor.

Unaware that Comey, Mccabe, a Special Prosecutor, and a VooDoo Priestess were all after the purse and the gold key - Chuck and Nancy continued their quest and snuck into the Supreme Court building to try and break into Lord Baders office to check Lord Baders Rolodex only to find out that Lord Bader is the only one old enough to remember how to even use a Rolodex. In a surprise twist they realized that Baders computer, as well as the safe deposit box in Jamaica, could only be accessed with Baders thumbprint. They quickly took off for the morgue to recover Bader in order to use her thumbprint. Imagine their surprise when they found Lord Bader propped against a dumpster outside a Pizza Joint in the middle of the night. Luckily, Bader’s diminutive size made it easy for them to stuff her into a suitcase so they could continue on their quest.

Using Lord Baders stolen Platinum VISA to pay for tickets, they took off for Jamaica with Bader stuffed inside of the shabby Samsonite suitcase. Unbeknownst to the two, the Special Counsel was hot on their trail. Once in Jamaica, Chuck and Nancy were able to use Lord Bader’s gold key to open the safe deposit box but they only found a map. Before they can take Bader out of the suitcase, Chuck and Nancy are captured by Comey and Macabe, who take them to Kamala-Mala’s VooDoo Temple. Kamala-Mala forces Nancy to drink a deadly VooDoo potion and tells them that they must find the Lost Clinton Gold by sundown to get the antidote.

Chuck and Nancy return to the hotel and become horrified to see the suitcase twitching. The Cohen testimony and apoplectic fits from the democrats coming from the hotel TV matched the cadence of Lord Bader’s twitching inside the suitcase. They turned the TV off and on a few times and realize that Kamala-Mala really is a VooDoo queen and Darth Bader Ginsburg is a victim of a voodoo curse. Chuck and Nancy are overjoyed when they realize that Darth Bader is moving and can lead them to the Lost Clinton Gold. To keep Bader moving they replace her hearing aids with a set of wireless earbuds and an iPhone-X so Bader will hear the Cohen testimony on an endless loop.

Lord Bader recovers the treasure chest and they rig her to a carriage with the Cohen testimony playing in her earbuds. Eventually, the carriage ends up at Kamala-Mala's compound but Darth Bader trips over a log causing the cart to crash, knocking out Kamala-Mala. With Kamala-Mala out of commission, there is no way to get an antidote to the voodoo potion. Luckily, Kamala-Malas father shows up and reminds them all that Kamala-Mala is lying – she isn’t really a voodoo priestess and Mr Harris assures Chuck that the potion was just RedBull and Tea Leaves and he will be just fine. The Special Counsel, frustrated to find out that the voodoo queen was a hoax, decides to return to the USA where they declare that they will start a new investigation in Salem Massachusetts to look for witches.

Lord Bader was last seen riding a dolphin into the sunset - still wearing the iPhone earbuds and a set of gold chains around her neck……………….

[Trapper John]

Originally Posted by Box

It's funny that you should ask about the possibility of pastor Alph Lukau bringing Ruth Bader Ginsburg back to life. I actually saw a documentary about Darth Bader Ginsburg - It is a very riveting story

Chuck Schumer Nancy Pelosi wandered into a DC area where they see deceased SCOTUS Judge, Darth Bader Ginsburg lying dead on an aluminum exam table. Chuck falsely claims Lord Bader is his aunt, so he can rifle through Lord Bader’s YUGE purse in search of a dossier that could be used to frame the POTUS. Initially the two found nothing more interesting than Lord Bader’s Platinum Visa – discouraged they shuffled back to the Capitol Building hoping that no republicans notice that they were missing – little did they know, but Lord Bader was one of the only people that knew where the legendary Lost Gold of the Clinton Foundation was buried and the evidence was still hidden in Bader’s YUGE purse.

When they returned to the Capitol Building, Chuck and Nancy were stopped by the head republican and quizzed by a congressional committee that asked if Cuck and Nancy knew anything about the Lost Clinton Gold that was hidden by Darth Bader Ginsburg. They denied knowing anything but the republicans knew better – the democrats were up to something. The republicans let them go but secretly appointed a Special Counsel to follow them in hope that they could find the treasure.

Later that night while eating an expensive dinner (paid for with the credit card stolen from Lord Bader's yuge purse), Chuck tells Nancy he found a shiny gold key to a treasure chest full of gold coins that Lord Bader has hidden in Jamaica. Nancy perked up because she knew that Jamaica was the homeland of a current US Senator, Presidential hopeful, and powerful VooDoo queen named Kamala-Mala Harris. Chuck begged Nancy to help find the treasure - she resisted at first but since she is old and crazy, she said ‘yes’ the third time he asked her.

Meanwhile, in a secret hideout in the Jamaican jungle, Kamala-Mala was hired by the Clinton Foundation to recover the dossier and the Lost Gold hidden by Lord Bader. Kamala-Mala sent two of her bumbling lackeys: James Comey and Andrew Mccabe - to travel to Washington DC to recover Lord Bader’s body. The two lackeys used a secret voodoo ceremony to reanimate Lord Bader’s corpse and bring her back to Jamaica to find the Clinton Foundations Lost Gold. Comey and Mccabes attempt to bring Lord Bader back were plagued by trouble but they eventually used the hidden basement dungeon of a DC Pizzeria named Comet-Ping-Pong to conduct the voodoo ceremony.

Quietly and slowly, Chuck and Nancy snuck through a hidden gate at the Pizzeria to get into the basement but on their way through the Pizza-Gate they lost their sacrificial chicken and had to use a pigeon instead. Using the wrong type of sacrifice caused the ceremony to go terribly wrong and as a result, when Lord Bader was reanimated, she was only able to move toward the Clinton Gold when she heard the mindless blubbering of anti-Trump bureaucrats.

Comey and Macabe might have been dirty cops – but they were pretty smart – so they used a stolen iPad to live stream internet videos of Congressional Democrats tearing their clothes and clutching their pearls while cursing the POTUS. It was enough to re-animate Lord Bader’s corpse, but Bader’s body dropped into a lifeless blob when Alexandria Ocasio Cortez ran up and snatched the iPad and disappeared into the underground subway terminal. In a panic, Comey and Macabe took off after AOC and the stolen iPad – leaving Bader slumped against the dumpster like a drunken protestor.

Unaware that Comey, Mccabe, a Special Prosecutor, and a VooDoo Priestess were all after the purse and the gold key - Chuck and Nancy continued their quest and snuck into the Supreme Court building to try and break into Lord Baders office to check Lord Baders Rolodex only to find out that Lord Bader is the only one old enough to remember how to even use a Rolodex. In a surprise twist they realized that Baders computer, as well as the safe deposit box in Jamaica, could only be accessed with Baders thumbprint. They quickly took off for the morgue to recover Bader in order to use her thumbprint. Imagine their surprise when they found Lord Bader propped against a dumpster outside a Pizza Joint in the middle of the night. Luckily, Bader’s diminutive size made it easy for them to stuff her into a suitcase so they could continue on their quest.

Using Lord Baders stolen Platinum VISA to pay for tickets, they took off for Jamaica with Bader stuffed inside of the shabby Samsonite suitcase. Unbeknownst to the two, the Special Counsel was hot on their trail. Once in Jamaica, Chuck and Nancy were able to use Lord Bader’s gold key to open the safe deposit box but they only found a map. Before they can take Bader out of the suitcase, Chuck and Nancy are captured by Comey and Macabe, who take them to Kamala-Mala’s VooDoo Temple. Kamala-Mala forces Nancy to drink a deadly VooDoo potion and tells them that they must find the Lost Clinton Gold by sundown to get the antidote.

Chuck and Nancy return to the hotel and become horrified to see the suitcase twitching. The Cohen testimony and apoplectic fits from the democrats coming from the hotel TV matched the cadence of Lord Bader’s twitching inside the suitcase. They turned the TV off and on a few times and realize that Kamala-Mala really is a VooDoo queen and Darth Bader Ginsburg is a victim of a voodoo curse. Chuck and Nancy are overjoyed when they realize that Darth Bader is moving and can lead them to the Lost Clinton Gold. To keep Bader moving they replace her hearing aids with a set of wireless earbuds and an iPhone-X so Bader will hear the Cohen testimony on an endless loop.

Lord Bader recovers the treasure chest and they rig her to a carriage with the Cohen testimony playing in her earbuds. Eventually, the carriage ends up at Kamala-Mala's compound but Darth Bader trips over a log causing the cart to crash, knocking out Kamala-Mala. With Kamala-Mala out of commission, there is no way to get an antidote to the voodoo potion. Luckily, Kamala-Malas father shows up and reminds them all that Kamala-Mala is lying – she isn’t really a voodoo priestess and Mr Harris assures Chuck that the potion was just RedBull and Tea Leaves and he will be just fine. The Special Counsel, frustrated to find out that the voodoo queen was a hoax, decides to return to the USA where they declare that they will start a new investigation in Salem Massachusetts to look for witches.

Lord Bader was last seen riding a dolphin into the sunset - still wearing the iPhone earbuds and a set of gold chains around her neck……………….

You need the copyright that! Then have it produced as a screenplay! That is funny rat there.

[Badger52]

Originally Posted by Trapper John

You need the copyright that! Then have it produced as a screenplay! That is funny rat there.

BOARD GAME!!!


And if you call RIGHT NOW, we'll include a free download key for the electronic App version that you can play on your own tablet or smart-phone. (Sorry, Android only, those Apple people are really snarky about steppin' in their safe space.)

[7624U]

Box

There was more to the story you did not tell ! Nancy was going to bring Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez along. Not to find the lost gold but as a sacrifice that the voodoo priest needed for the resurrection. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez found out about the plan.

[Badger52]

Originally Posted by 7624U

Box

There was more to the story you did not tell ! Nancy was going to bring Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez along. Not to find the lost gold but as a sacrifice that the voodoo priest needed for the resurrection. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez found out about the plan.

I think her marker is due; can we get a cameo by John Wick?