09-01-2018, 14:13
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#1
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Area Commander
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,462
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Divorce
Is there a procedural difference ending a marriage while on active duty, or is divorce strictly a civil matter before the court that only impacts distribution of pay and allowances?
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Penn is offline
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09-01-2018, 17:57
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#2
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 649
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The difference is, if your soon to be ex-wife is a bitch, she can really fuck up your career. My advice, be nice, be fair, and have the most ruthless lawyer you can afford.
x/S
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exsquid is offline
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09-01-2018, 18:34
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#3
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The Woodlands, Texas
Posts: 931
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Quote:
Originally Posted by exsquid
....and have the most ruthless lawyer you can afford.
x/S
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In other words, hire a female lawyer. I did when I went through my divorce and it was the best decision ever.
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Basenshukai is offline
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09-01-2018, 19:07
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,780
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IIRC, in most cases, the estranged spouse is entitled to all of the Service Member's Basic Allowance for Housing or his government furnished quarters until the case is adjudicated and a judge issues further guidance via court orders.
Where the Soldier then resides is an unanswered question.
See AR 608-99, unless it has changed.
Best of luck.
TR
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The Reaper is offline
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09-01-2018, 21:02
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#5
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sneaking back and forth across the Border
Posts: 6,628
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Basenshukai
In other words, hire a female lawyer. I did when I went through my divorce and it was the best decision ever.
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I did the same thing and people were amazed how I made out....
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SF_BHT is offline
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09-02-2018, 06:11
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#6
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: State of confusion
Posts: 1,525
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Get legal representation....quickly. It is purely a "civil" issue; however, she can make your career implode. Support, especially when you have kids, is the issue for AD cats. Also, on-post housing is an issue for a wife and children. It generally goes to the wife and kids until the mess is sorted if things turn ugly.
AR 608-99 carries the general rule, but nowadays, many women make more than their husbands so there are some saving provisions within it to where a troop won't be forced to contribute if he can show that she makes more than he does.
Of course, if you can make this cordial/amicable, most problems go away.
Assume everything you do with her is being recorded; notes are being taken and anything you say will be misconstrued in the worst possible way. Take the high road....always. Bottom line, take care of the kids.
I left my lying whore and took with me nothing more than a coffee pot, a poncho liner and a pistol - I kid you not. I rebuilt my life after leaving her everything and getting stuck with all the debt. In the long run...I got the better deal.
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JimP is offline
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09-02-2018, 07:30
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#7
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Area Commander
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,462
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This is exactly what I expected. Thank you all for your time, no further replies are necessary.
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Penn is offline
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09-02-2018, 14:21
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#8
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Colorado
Posts: 473
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I came back from Beirut and found the house abandoned. She took the baby and moved back home. I requested emergency leave and it was granted. She was appointed a military attorney and we met at West Point. She got her maternity clothes and vacuum cleaner.
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twistedsquid is offline
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09-02-2018, 16:27
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#9
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Newnan, Georgia
Posts: 371
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My sympathy is with you. Good advice so far. All I would add is hire a lawyer that is in the "courthouse loop", do some research and hire the best legal representation possible. Do not skimp on this, starve if you have too. I didn't and it cost me in the long run.
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TrapperFrank is offline
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09-03-2018, 10:29
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#10
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Big Sky
Posts: 426
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…….Assume everything you do with her is being recorded; notes are being taken and anything you say will be misconstrued in the worst possible way. Take the high road....always. Bottom line, take care of the kids.
I left my lying whore and took with me nothing more than a coffee pot, a poncho liner and a pistol - I kid you not. I rebuilt my life after leaving her everything and getting stuck with all the debt. In the long run...I got the better deal.[/QUOTE]
I got my house with nothing in it and all her debt. I still came out ahead in the long run too. As everyone else has said...get a good attorney.
Best of luck.
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sfshooter is offline
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09-09-2018, 22:07
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#11
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 20,929
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Quote:
Originally Posted by exsquid
The difference is, if your soon to be ex-wife is a bitch, she can really fuck up your career. My advice, be nice, be fair, and have the most ruthless lawyer you can afford.
x/S
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You know I think we are blood related..............
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Team Sergeant is offline
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09-11-2018, 11:53
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#12
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Currently based in the US
Posts: 414
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Divorce based on Military/Civil Service is Divverent
I hope I'm not too late with this. We've all heard "He is his own worst enemy". The reverse is also true. YOU are your best friend during a divorce.
I was fortunate enough to have the time to plan before filing for divorce from my @$&%^## ex-wife. Looking at the various laws (US Code) concerning how federal sources would interpret certain phrases saved me a fortune.
My attorney ,(also a good friend) was well acquainted with the general laws and procedures in my state. Like the ex's attorney, he was a "general divorce attorney". When I looked at the wording in the proposed settlement written by the ex's attorney, it seemed fair to both me and my attorney. He gritted his teeth when I told him that I needed "these two words" removed, "this word changed to that. "
That was not vindictive, nor was I trying to gain a bit here and there. Inside the federal procedures was exact guidance concerning how certain phrases that *sounded* similar would be interpreted. Neither attorney was a specialist in federal benefits. I had taken the time to become one.
My conversation with my complaining attorney ended with "OK, Jerrry, if this were YOUR $350,000 (the increased portion paid to me instead of her, over the following 15 years), would you make the change?"
You are your best friend.
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Last edited by plato; 09-11-2018 at 11:55.
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plato is offline
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09-13-2018, 12:10
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#13
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 649
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TS:
I am still on wife #1. Everything I know about getting a divorce while on AD I learned by listening to SF_BHT.
x/S
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exsquid is offline
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09-13-2018, 14:58
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#14
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sneaking back and forth across the Border
Posts: 6,628
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Quote:
Originally Posted by exsquid
TS:
I am still on wife #1. Everything I know about getting a divorce while on AD I learned by listening to SF_BHT.
x/S
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Practice Practice Practice.......
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SF_BHT is offline
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10-24-2018, 10:01
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#15
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Area Commander
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,235
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Wow....why do most women have to be such bitches about this? Sorry, but I would never do that, that's why I still have all my bank accounts & credit cards in my name. I only want what I came in with to the marriage, and get the damn house taken care of. I would not want anything else; I don't want to make it complicated. I basically would just want out and hopefully fast.. Hardest part would be deciding if I have the confidence to go through with it, and where I could afford to go......decisions, decisions........Gosh, good luck in that endeavor.......
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