09-06-2011, 14:18
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Red State
Posts: 3,774
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THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.
30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling is fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
9. My fianc�, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
7. Checkmate
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
4. I don't have a favorite college team.
3. You Guys.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm driving a whole bus load of us down to re-elect OBAMA!
BMT
__________________
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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BMT (RIP) is offline
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09-06-2011, 14:34
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#2
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Quiet Professional (RIP)
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Carriere,Ms.
Posts: 6,922
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BMT,
Just sent this out to my cajun son in law.........
Big Teddy
__________________
I believe that SF is a 'calling' - not too different from the calling missionaries I know received. I knew instantly that it was for me, and that I would do all I could to achieve it. Most others I know in SF experienced something similar. If, as you say, you HAVE searched and read, and you do not KNOW if this is the path for you --- it is not....
Zonie Diver
SF is a calling and it requires commitment and dedication that the uninitiated will never understand......
Jack Moroney
SFA M-2527, Chapter XXXVII
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greenberetTFS is offline
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09-06-2011, 17:57
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#3
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 137
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#25 and #7 just did me in.
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Cynic is offline
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09-06-2011, 20:05
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 554
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There's a lot of Southerners I know laughing their gluteals off because of you.
DB
__________________
DB
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Dragbag036 is offline
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09-06-2011, 20:09
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#5
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,917
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__________________
Non Sibi Sed Suis
_____________________________________________
It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
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Sdiver is offline
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09-07-2011, 10:20
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#6
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Wilson,NC
Posts: 1,506
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__________________
"Solitude is strength; to depend on the presence of the crowd is weakness. The man who needs a mob to nerve him is much more alone than he imagines."
~ Paul Brunton (1898-1981)
R.D. Winters
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rdret1 is offline
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09-07-2011, 15:49
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#7
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Southern Mo
Posts: 1,541
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Definately stealing this.
__________________
"And how can man die better than facing fearful odds, for the ashes of his fathers, and the temples of his gods?"
Thomas Babington Macaulay
"One man with courage makes a majority." Andrew Jackson
"Well Mr. Carpetbagger. We got something in this territory called the Missouri boat ride."
Josey Wales
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craigepo is offline
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09-07-2011, 18:34
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#8
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Just west of the beltway.
Posts: 151
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"Guys, I really don't think we should do this."
"When I bend over can you see my crack?"
"Betty, have you seen my cuff links?"
"Because of the carcinogens I don't BBQ anymore."
"Did anyone bring the cork screw?"
And my favorite:
"No, I don't want to go the the Golden Corral."
More to come?
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219seminole is offline
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09-07-2011, 18:54
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#9
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Guest
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There has to be a Yoga, Palates or Bed Bath & Beyond joke in there somewhere.
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09-08-2011, 07:42
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#10
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ft. Bragg
Posts: 2,908
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wet dog
There has to be a Yoga, Palates or Bed Bath & Beyond joke in there somewhere.
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Darlin' those yoga pants are too form fittin'.
__________________
"Somebody should put that quote on a T-shirt:
Muslim phrase: "Aloha Snackbar!"
English translation: "Draw, Mother-F*cker!""
-TOMAHAWK9521
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1stindoor is offline
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09-08-2011, 19:47
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#11
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Harmony Church
Posts: 2,634
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Hey Guber, deyah think we otta take down that rebel flag over yonder? Heard it aint politically correct nomore.
Last edited by mojaveman; 12-26-2017 at 13:57.
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mojaveman is offline
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12-22-2017, 10:38
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#12
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Just above the flood plain in Southern Texas
Posts: 3,608
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So went searching for something about Yoga Pants and then thar was this. Enjoy!
I’ll add: Sweety-Pie, do these yoga pants make my butt look big?
Um, no, it’s not your butt I’m looking at...
__________________
You only live once; live well. Have no regrets when the end happens!
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” (Sir Edmund Burke)
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Old Dog New Trick is offline
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12-22-2017, 13:29
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#13
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Hohenwald, TN
Posts: 176
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Time to clean up around the trailer house.
__________________
Blood Type; OD Green
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Chucko is offline
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12-22-2017, 16:37
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#14
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 1,588
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32. She's my cousin so we can't have sex.
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bblhead672 is offline
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12-23-2017, 10:29
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#15
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,461
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We got a huge bonus from work!
walmart cards all $50 worth!
__________________
"Make sure your plan fits the terrain or you will be slurping mud puddles”
"Me"
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7624U is offline
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