Penn, I hope you found the answers you were looking for in all this. Ha, I am now going through the same thing, but as a civilian. And, I finally made up my mind....doing the leg work now, going to speak to a lawyer soon.
But like I stated before, I want the easiest, and fastest way out. I just hope he doesn't make my life difficult or plans to be nasty about this. I don't think I could coop with that. I'm on my own with this; no family around to back me up, that is the hardest part right about now. I finally realized it is the right thing to do, and I really do not want to be unfair to my other half in all of this. After all, I do have feelings, and I am sure he is having a hard time with this as I am.
Wow, it's difficult but I think I have a preplan. The only thing I am worried about is finding a place to live. Ahhhh, because I won't be staying in my house.