This belongs in the Library section of the forum.........
I believe that SF is a 'calling' - not too different from the calling missionaries I know received. I knew instantly that it was for me, and that I would do all I could to achieve it. Most others I know in SF experienced something similar. If, as you say, you HAVE searched and read, and you do not KNOW if this is the path for you --- it is not....
SF is a calling and it requires commitment and dedication that the uninitiated will never understand......
SFA M-2527, Chapter XXXVII