THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
 

31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My fianc�, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7. Checkmate

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

4. I don't have a favorite college team.

3. You Guys.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm driving a whole bus load of us down to re-elect OBAMA!


BMT

BMT,

Just sent this out to my cajun son in law.........;)

Big Teddy :munchin

#25 and #7 just did me in. :D

There's a lot of Southerners I know laughing their gluteals off because of you.

DB

ROTFLMMFAO !!!!!!

Too funny !!!!!

:D :D :D :D

Excellent! :D:D:D

Definately stealing this.

"Guys, I really don't think we should do this."

"When I bend over can you see my crack?"

"Betty, have you seen my cuff links?"

"Because of the carcinogens I don't BBQ anymore."

"Did anyone bring the cork screw?"

And my favorite:

"No, I don't want to go the the Golden Corral."

More to come?:munchin

There has to be a Yoga, Palates or Bed Bath & Beyond joke in there somewhere.

Darlin' those yoga pants are too form fittin'.

Hey Guber, deyah think we otta take down that rebel flag over yonder? Heard it aint politically correct nomore. :D :p

So went searching for something about Yoga Pants and then thar was this. Enjoy!

I’ll add: Sweety-Pie, do these yoga pants make my butt look big?

Um, no, it’s not your butt I’m looking at...

Time to clean up around the trailer house.:D

32. She's my cousin so we can't have sex. :D