Late Again

[BMT (RIP)]

Late again, " the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. "It ain't my
fault," Miss Crabtree. "You can blame this on my dad. The reason I'm
three hours late? Dad sleeps nights in the raw!" Now Miss Crabtree had
taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. So she asked little
Sammy what he meant by that, despite her mounting fears. Full of grins
and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and Trouble
were old friends, but he always told the truth.
"You see, Miss Crabtree, at the ranch we got this here lowdown coyote.
The last few nights done et six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat.
And last night, when Dad heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he
grabbed his gun and said to Ma, 'That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna
git him!'' "'Stay back, he yelled to all us kids, I wouldn't want ya
hurt!'
He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the
henhouse he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then he stuck that
double barrel through the window of the coop.
Well, Maam, as he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind,
our old hound dog Zeke had done woke up and come asneakin' up behind
Dad.
Then we all looked on plumb helpless as Dad was cold-nosed without
warnin'."
"Miss Crabtree, we been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this
mornin'!"