BMT (RIP)
03-02-2004, 17:46
Once upon a time, there was a Presidential election that was
too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate
nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to
win the election.
Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest
between the two candidates to determine the final winner.
There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc.
but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly)
way to settle things.
The candidate that catches the most fish by the end of the week
wins. After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that
the contest would take place on a remote and cold lake in
Wisconsin. There were to be no observers present, and both men
were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily
with their catch for counting and verification.
At the end of the first day, George W. returns to the starting line and
he has 10 fish. Soon, John Kerry returns and has zero fish. Well,
everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something
and hopefully, he will catch up the next day.
At the end of the 2nd day President Bush comes in with 20 fish and
John Kerry comes in again with none. That evening, Howard Dean gets
together secretly with John Kerry and says, "John, I think President
Bush. is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow
and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is
cheating in any way.
The next night (after President Bush.comes back with 50 fish), Howard
Dean says to John, "Well, what about it, is President Bush cheatin'?"
"He sure is, Howard, he's cutting holes in the ice!
too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate
nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to
win the election.
Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest
between the two candidates to determine the final winner.
There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc.
but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly)
way to settle things.
The candidate that catches the most fish by the end of the week
wins. After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that
the contest would take place on a remote and cold lake in
Wisconsin. There were to be no observers present, and both men
were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily
with their catch for counting and verification.
At the end of the first day, George W. returns to the starting line and
he has 10 fish. Soon, John Kerry returns and has zero fish. Well,
everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something
and hopefully, he will catch up the next day.
At the end of the 2nd day President Bush comes in with 20 fish and
John Kerry comes in again with none. That evening, Howard Dean gets
together secretly with John Kerry and says, "John, I think President
Bush. is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow
and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is
cheating in any way.
The next night (after President Bush.comes back with 50 fish), Howard
Dean says to John, "Well, what about it, is President Bush cheatin'?"
"He sure is, Howard, he's cutting holes in the ice!