Local_Pol
02-26-2004, 12:05
WARNING LABELS
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods
On a Sears' hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details Inside." (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be... how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's just a suggestion!)
On a hotel-provided shower cap box: "Fits one head." (?!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on the bottom of the box): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (You think?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't that save time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5-year-olds off forklifts!)
On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: may cause drowsiness." (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children." (What's for dinner?!)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to outer space or underground?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Hmmmm, now I'm curious?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (No comment)
On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts." (What is going on here?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (As if you would try to stop anything with your genitals)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods
On a Sears' hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details Inside." (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be... how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's just a suggestion!)
On a hotel-provided shower cap box: "Fits one head." (?!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on the bottom of the box): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (You think?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't that save time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5-year-olds off forklifts!)
On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: may cause drowsiness." (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children." (What's for dinner?!)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to outer space or underground?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Hmmmm, now I'm curious?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (No comment)
On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts." (What is going on here?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (As if you would try to stop anything with your genitals)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)