View Full Version : for the femi-nazi's
Sacamuelas
05-10-2005, 12:03
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
----------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill Harsey
05-10-2005, 12:47
oh Ms. Frontsight...
I think your being called.
Why Mr Harsey! I never figured you for an instigator. :D
oh Ms. Frontsight...
I think your being called.
(starting to take more notes)
Let's see....this'll be volume number...ahhhh.......1,456,235
:munchin
alphamale
05-10-2005, 17:25
(starting to take more notes) :munchinSdiver, note this:
Any Femme-type who exhibits other-than-wallflower behavior = FemiNazi
in the minds of some XYs insecure in their masculinity. However, I'm sure ALL present company :fswhip: is hereby excluded. :D
You should see how incorrigible I get in Germany when they call me Frauline [FrontSight]. ::She reflexively reaches for whip ::
FrontSight
Bill Harsey
05-10-2005, 17:51
She took that better than I thought...
Peregrino
05-10-2005, 18:03
She took that better than I thought...
Yeah - But her definition of "Feminazi" is a little "broad" for my tastes. (Oh - that was good & I didn't even have to try! :D ) Peregrino
alphamale
05-10-2005, 23:45
VERY funny Peregrino!
What the XY gets (kisses and snugs and sweetness and light vs The Kukri and the Whip and serious :: priss factor ::) allllllllllllll depends on his attitude.
FrontSight
Was a bit surprising.
So FS. You don't like being referred as a Miss, young lady, mademoiselle, madam (not THAT kind).
They could holler "Sie, Frau!!..............."
When I was there and conversing with cute little indigenous XX's, calling them fraulein worked quite well. Now that I drag some of the after action reports out of depths of my mind. :D
They could refer to you as 'kleines Fraulein'. That my elicit one of those screaming banshee coyote things.
Peregrino
05-11-2005, 06:55
VERY funny Peregrino!
What the XY gets (kisses and snugs and sweetness and light vs The Kukri and the Whip and serious :: priss factor ::) allllllllllllll depends on his attitude.
FrontSight
What can I say? I was raised in the Southern tradition. I expect the women I'm interested in to be interesting, with strength of character, to enjoy their womanhood, and to be ladies above all. The FemiNazis I've encountered (not many - they aren't nice people so I don't go out of my way to do more than piss them off) don't seem to enjoy being female, and they're definitely not good company. Just my .02 - Peregrino
Jack Moroney (RIP)
05-11-2005, 07:09
You should see how incorrigible I get in Germany when they call me Frauline [FrontSight
So you would rather be called what-Herrfräuline?
The Reaper
05-11-2005, 07:43
VERY funny Peregrino!
What the XY gets (kisses and snugs and sweetness and light vs The Kukri and the Whip and serious :: priss factor ::) allllllllllllll depends on his attitude.
FrontSight
That whip looks like it gets about as much use as the huge dumbells under the bench.
TR
Bill Harsey
05-11-2005, 08:07
"Frauline Frontsight" has a kind of a nice ring to it.
Jack, you have a very sophisticated keyboard to make those two little dots over the "a" in your frauline.
I even checked the back of my keyboard for a special switch and can't find anything.
Mit die Bilder sie hat oben aufgestellt , vielleicht ist sie ein Anhaenger von Nietzche?
"Gehst du zum Weib, vergiss die Peitsche nicht!" :D
Jack Moroney (RIP)
05-11-2005, 14:14
Das kann man wholsagen aber Ich habe eine Walküre gedacht! Zum Beispiel sie die Peitsche and die Waffe hat und sie ist zum Schreien.
Jack Moroney
alphamale
05-11-2005, 14:38
hmmm...
Would it be a bad idea to ask my very straight-laced German colleagues vat zees means?
So you would rather be called what-Herrfräuline?::mars-venus miscommunication alert::
Nooooooooo, I *like* being called Frauline. Makes me lizard squiggle and all. *And* it makes me reach for my whip and become incorrigible. All at the same time. See, we femmes are multi-faceted. :lifter
FrontSight
Nooooooooo, I *like* being called Frauline. Makes me lizard squiggle and all. *And* it makes me reach for my whip and become incorrigible. All at the same time. See, we femmes are multi-faceted.
FrontSight
(looking up from German-American dictionary)
Yeah.....most of the "Femmes" I know, are two faced. :eek:
Oops.....didn't see the "t".
(back to taking notes)
Das kann man wholsagen aber Ich habe eine Walküre gedacht! Zum Beispiel sie die Peitsche and die Waffe hat und sie ist zum Schreien.
Jack Moroney
LOL! 'Schreien', genau. Bitte, erzaehlen sie nicht, dass Sie sie ist eine Walkuere denken; wir werden nie das Ende davon hoeren. :rolleyes:
Jack Moroney (RIP)
05-11-2005, 19:58
Bitte, erzaehlen sie nicht:rolleyes:
Klar! Das will unerträglich sein!
Ambush Master
05-11-2005, 20:31
Hope that during your travels you have the time to pick up AT LEAST 10-20 different language instructional books, so's that you can keep up with what has been unleashed here !!! :munchin
alphamale
05-11-2005, 20:37
::sniff::
Whatever it is, I am sure it is *not kind*.
Besides, I don't care, because today, I was told something *very* sweet by an XY, and I have been preening ever since. So there. :p
FrontSight
Klar! Das will unerträglich sein!
Jawohl! Sie kann schon sein. Und, vielen dank fuer die viele brauchende Deutsche uebung. Ich tun es nicht genug.
F2S, just so you don't feel left out, the original point was how the pictures of your t-shirt and whip only goes to prove Nietzsche right: "When dealing with wenches (that's the polite translation), don't forget the whip!" :D
Jack Moroney (RIP)
05-12-2005, 05:52
Ich tun es nicht genug.
:D
Gleichfalls. Ihre Deutsch ist sehr gut aber meine Geschicklichkeite rostig sind.
The Reaper
05-12-2005, 07:30
Gleichfalls. Ihre Deutsch ist sehr gut aber meine Geschicklichkeite rostig sind.
Looks like you are doing okay to me, Boss. :D
TR
Cincinnatus
05-12-2005, 07:56
THREAD DRIFT ALERT!!!
My german has gotten pretty rusty as well (not that it was ever that great), and I was struggling to remember a saying I'd heard that, translated roughly, went something like "In beer there is strength, in wine there is wisdom, in water there is bacteria!" Do either or you gentlemen, or anyone else here, remember how to say this auf deutsch?
TIA
alphamale
05-12-2005, 08:28
Has anyone else noticed that the one who started this topic, the one with the pearly whites, has been conspicuously absent from any followup discussion?
Oh Sacamuelas :fswhip: , do you have anything to say for yourself? ::glare::
FrontSight
THREAD DRIFT ALERT!!!
My german has gotten pretty rusty as well (not that it was ever that great), and I was struggling to remember a saying I'd heard that, translated roughly, went something like "In beer there is strength, in wine there is wisdom, in water there is bacteria!" Do either or you gentlemen, or anyone else here, remember how to say this auf deutsch?
TIA
Reminds me of a song, "ein, zwei, G'suffa" The spelling may be off, It sort of means, 1, 2, bottoms up. I remember taking a German class, Or was it a dream.
I noticed on joining, that it is asked for a new person to type something about themselves. I am not good at "beating my own drum". I hope my profile works. I am interested in this area, mainly because of a very close friend is in SF. He went through selection a year ago last Sept. He was deployed in Iraq for a year, Strykers(SP?) and is in training now. I have great admiration for those who serve our country. I feel when I was in active duty, I served under some very exceptional people, and was honored to have served with them.
I think most of my friends now are Vets are currently serving. I have a pretty decent machine/wood/welding shop. I was involved in Mountain Rescue, Currently a volunteer with a sheriffs office in my county, in SAR. I am married, with two great children, (12 and 10). Again, if you have a question please ask.
Hollis
Roguish Lawyer
05-12-2005, 09:08
Has anyone else noticed that the one who started this topic, the one with the pearly whites, has been conspicuously absent from any followup discussion?
Oh Sacamuelas :fswhip: , do you have anything to say for yourself? ::glare::
FrontSight
Saca is busy devising new means of torturing his patients. He'll be back soon.
Gleichfalls. Ihre Deutsch ist sehr gut aber meine Geschicklichkeite rostig sind.
Ne, mein Herr. Ob ihre Geschicklichkeite hat einmal rostig sein, haben Sie kuerzlich sie geoelt. ;)
Jack Moroney (RIP)
05-12-2005, 19:36
Ne, mein Herr. Ob ihre Geschicklichkeite hat einmal rostig sein, haben Sie kuerzlich sie geoelt. ;)
Vielen dank.
frostfire
08-19-2006, 13:50
I've seen variations where the woman wishes for equal work opportunity, pay scale, and promotion.
...and just to be fair to both sides:
CROSSING THE RIVER
One day three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a raging river.
They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea how to do so.
The first man prayed, Saying, " Please God, give me the strength to cross the river." POOF ! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning.
Seeing this, the second man prayed, saying, " Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross the river." POOF ! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to cross the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing.
The third man had seen how this worked for the others, so he also prayed, " Please God, give me the strength and the tools, and the intelligence to cross the river. And POOF ! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.
Undeniable Rules of Life!
1. If you're too open minded, your brains fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage
makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you haven't tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you've figured out how to make ends meet, the ends move.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
26. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."