View Full Version : A Cry for Attention or a Warning?
Jack Moroney (RIP)
04-07-2005, 12:34
Had to go to the VA today for my biweekly physical torture event and coming out of the building ,while hobbling across the pedestrian crosswalk, a van slammed on its breaks stopping short of taking me out. As I regained my composure I noticed the vanity plate on the front with the letters "PTSD". So being the sensitive type I raised my cane, aimed it at the driver and yelled "Bam" as loud as I could hoping to see the idiot start frothing at the mouth or diving for his foxhole. Guess the next thing we are going to start seeing are plates with Agent Orange, Polio, Cancer, Lupus, etc. I think perhaps these plates should not be called vanity plates but rather pity me plates. Talk about hanging your ass out in public. I will, however, avoid anyone driving a car with a HAK hanging from the rear view mirror and a vanity plate displaying "PMS". :)
Jack Moroney-suvivor of a "PTSD" attack
Jack,
I usually get a kick out of your signature lines so, if you had to limit yourself to seven characters, what would your vanity plate say? :munchin
(FS, wait for the man to answer)
Jack Moroney (RIP)
04-07-2005, 13:01
Jack,
what would your vanity plate say? :munchin
(FS, wait for the man to answer)
Actually I never gave it any thought and never felt the need to draw attention to myself for any reason. As many of the drivers up here drive like they were the honor graduates of Kamikaze School, I surely would not want to give any one of them a reason to drive any closer to my bumper than they already do while trying to read something that they would probably not understand anyway. Of course, things change with age. Probably won't be long now before my wife will be leaving post it notes on the back door for me that state things like: Car Keys, Teeth In, Fly Zipped? Then perhaps I would need to put my name, address, and phone number on the plate so the state police can guide me home ;)
Jack Moroney-recongized by many epithets, but only to those that know me
alphamale
04-07-2005, 15:23
I will, however, avoid anyone driving a car with a HAK hanging from the rear view mirror and a vanity plate displaying "PMS". :)
Yet again, Sir Jack shows good survival skills!!!
Yayyyyyyyyyy!! I win! :lifter :D :lifter
FrontSight (who has never had even a smidge of PMS in her life. An "ovary rub" might feel good on Day 1, but PMS - *never*. "Ovary rub" = compression on top of butt-bone while lying on tummy. Yet another secret for you XY's to appear more sensitive and help promote domestic tranquility. )
FrontSight (who has never had even a smidge of PMS in her life.
Um, I'd like to get verification of that from another, unbiased (i.e. out of cutting range) male. :rolleyes:
"Ovary rub" = compression on top of butt-bone while lying on tummy.
::sigh:: Why, why dost thou tempt me so? Begone, ye demon of wide-open posting opportunities!
Kyobanim
04-07-2005, 16:06
FS, let me take a guess at the 'representations' in your avatar.
You're the penquin with the cymbals and Col Jack is the polar bear?
alphamale
04-07-2005, 16:08
Sir Razor,
When I saw something the Team Sergeant wrote today:
"It would seem all you like to do is run your mouth and bother women on internet chat boards."
I said defiantly and protectively, "Stop talking about Razor like that!"
Ha! I win again! Twice in 1 thread!!! :D :lifter :D
FrontSight
alphamale
04-07-2005, 16:10
FS, let me take a guess at the 'representations' in your avatar.
You're the penquin with the cymbals and Col Jack is the polar bear?Kyobanim, I will defer commentary to one Mr. William Harsey Jr.
FrontSight
Kyobanim
04-07-2005, 16:26
Oh, so it's not the Col, it's Bill.
Bill Harsey
04-07-2005, 17:59
FrontSight (who has never had even a smidge of PMS in her life. An "ovary rub" might feel good on Day 1, but PMS - *never*. "Ovary rub" = compression on top of butt-bone while lying on tummy. Yet another secret for you XY's to appear more sensitive and help promote domestic tranquility. )
Team Sergeant,
Did you ever think that upon starting ProfessionalSoldiers.com that you would be able to bring up the search function and type in "ovary rub" and get an answer?
I'm starting a new list,
"Things I never thought I'd learn at ProfessionalSoldiers.com."
You SF guys are getting some deep intel here.
Bill Harsey
04-07-2005, 18:05
Sir Razor,
When I saw something the Team Sergeant wrote today:
"It would seem all you like to do is run your mouth and bother women on internet chat boards."
I said defiantly and protectively, "Stop talking about Razor like that!"
Ha! I win again! Twice in 1 thread!!! :D :lifter :D
FrontSight
FS, Don't be so quick to declare victory, these guys know the difference between a battle and the war.
Yes I can explain that avatar.
alphamale
04-07-2005, 18:07
You SF guys are getting some deep intel here.Definitely! Just doing my part to promote domestic tranquility.
Along those lines, I'm even going to add a "domestic tranquility" item as an option with my knives (If I have heard it once, I've heard it 1000000 times, "Could I get you a bank check so that my wife won't see this on my credit card...")
More on that later, but it's very VERY cool and will definitely result in a "awwwwww" ::kisskisskiss:: from a femme type.
FrontSight
Cincinnatus
04-07-2005, 18:56
Ok, I know when we talked the other day you were perhaps the teensiest bit miffed that I didn't have a HAK. If you can garuantee the "awww, kisskisskiss" from a woman (I get to pick the woman) I'll immediately reconsider purchasing. Hell, I'll buy a couple. :D :p :munchin
Bill Harsey
04-07-2005, 19:00
Kyobanim, I will defer commentary to one Mr. William Harsey Jr.
FrontSight
Kyo, This goes back to that "allergic reaction to listening thing" about FS that I was the first to observe and publish in my Knifemakers Science Journal here at ProfessionalSoldiers.com.
Our Ms. FS wasn't going to quit jabbing a particular member here and couldn't see the very real warning signs of impending doom.
My words had no effect, so I gave up and sent her this image. Yes she is the cymbal player.
No I am not the big white thing underneath.
It sidetracked her just long enough to survive a bit longer.
alphamale
04-07-2005, 19:34
Cininnatus, I finally remembered the person from Carl's crew that I had you confused with - I believe his name was Lester. Sorry about that :confused:
re: detect that I was the teensiest bit miffed
I bet the clue was "Why the heck not you pooh-pooh head!" :D Razor would call that my "Strong-Arm tactic" :D
Again, apologies for confusing you with the kid from the city.
Mr. Harsey, You can't see this, but behind those symbals (how do you spell that) are these humongous injection syringes of XY-muscle-relaxant strong enough to render even massive XY muscles useless and allow our femme type muscles to have our way.
Seeeee! I do listen!!! I just conclude differently. :lifter
FrontSight
Cincinnatus
04-07-2005, 21:01
Lester? I'm taller and and MUCH better looking. How could you get us confused? :eek:
Actually, Lester is a good guy, I first met him at an American Combatives seminar and then again at the first Cestari open seminar. He's supposed to play pretty good guitar. But, I'm definitely better looking. :cool:
"symbals (how do you spell that)" - cymbals.
NousDefionsDoc
04-07-2005, 21:40
I can't believe you don't have a HAK!
As for the ovary rub - there are days I will try anything. Thanks for the tip.
"Things I never thought..." Well, we're linked to a cookbook, so I guess anything goes. I am planning and plotting to use the link in my FREE MARTHA NOW! campaign. ;)
alphamale
04-07-2005, 22:40
As for the ovary rub - there are days I will try anything. Thanks for the tip.NDD, Think 3-5 seconds of Japanese shiatsu-type compression in the vicinity around the butt-bone. Perhaps with a pillow under tummy.
FrontSight
Smokin Joe
04-07-2005, 22:54
As for the ovary rub - there are days I will try anything. Thanks for the tip.
No man No....say it isn't so. I had these visions of you just saying "screw it" I'll be at the Sanctuary. Those visions helped me (mentally) when it gets bad around here; thinking that at least someone was getting away from there HH6. :cool:
I never could get the hang of that shiatsu- type compression deal, so 15 years ago I just sent her in for a hysterectomy. Then I married her. Always an easier way. :D
Bill Harsey
04-08-2005, 07:23
Had to go to the VA today for my biweekly physical torture event and coming out of the building ,while hobbling across the pedestrian crosswalk, a van slammed on its breaks stopping short of taking me out. As I regained my composure I noticed the vanity plate on the front with the letters "PTSD". So being the sensitive type I raised my cane, aimed it at the driver and yelled "Bam" as loud as I could hoping to see the idiot start frothing at the mouth or diving for his foxhole. Guess the next thing we are going to start seeing are plates with Agent Orange, Polio, Cancer, Lupus, etc. I think perhaps these plates should not be called vanity plates but rather pity me plates. Talk about hanging your ass out in public. I will, however, avoid anyone driving a car with a HAK hanging from the rear view mirror and a vanity plate displaying "PMS". :)
Jack Moroney-suvivor of a "PTSD" attack
Jack, That is a great story and brilliant observation about the plate frames.
I'm glad your ok.
Have you noticed how far this thread has strayed?
This hijack approachs a record, even for around here.