AngelsSix
02-17-2004, 09:58
Smart-ass Answer #1:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said, "Sir, I
need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart-ass Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're
dead."
Smart-ass Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The
kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart-ass Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck,
huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of
gas."
and finally Smart-ass #5 - THE Smart-ass Answer OF THE YEAR:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class,
I
won't tolerate any excuses for you
not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's
it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does
its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored,
the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly
says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said, "Sir, I
need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart-ass Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're
dead."
Smart-ass Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The
kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart-ass Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck,
huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of
gas."
and finally Smart-ass #5 - THE Smart-ass Answer OF THE YEAR:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class,
I
won't tolerate any excuses for you
not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's
it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does
its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored,
the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly
says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"