View Full Version : Divorces and Marriages (Martha will NOT be hijacked!)
GreenSalsa
03-05-2005, 05:48
I thought Doc had gotten a divorce also...
Hmmm--thread hijack!!
How many divorces and marriages has everyone had? :munchin
D-2
M-3
:D
Hmmm--thread hijack!!
D 1, M 2
I told my first wife "I was in SF when you ran into me and I'll be in SF when you run out on me". 6 years later she ran out on me. She told me on the phone as I was getting ready to re-deploy. I told her to take what she wanted. I got home to an empty apartment and had to make an emergency resupply run to K-mart to get some basic stuff to survive on.
Too many civilian friends does not a good SF wife make. Much better mate the second time around.
Pete
M-1
D-0
32 years. Those stats may be different if I had stayed one more term. I made my choice and have no regrets - (well maybe sometimes). :rolleyes:
As for Martha Syewart a juror last night said that had they any idea she would get hard jail time they would not have convicted.
Martha has a very magnetic personality. It seems her fellow inmates had a special dinner for her when she left. She has a very lusty chuckle/laugh. :o
GreenSalsa
03-05-2005, 09:22
She left me $30K in the hole, no furniture, let her boyfriend "borrow" my truck and had my dog shot! :eek:
The first question I asked this one was "Have you ever met / dated anyone in SF?"
Her reply was something to the effect "SF?? I never even met anyone from California"...I was smitten :D
She has been a great trooper and even bought me my SF ring...
Back to Martha Stewart...why not house arrest? I would rather see her pay her own bill than have the US taxpayer foot the bill to incarcerate her.
QRQ 30--your taking this marriage thing kinda serious huh?...32 YEARS!!! Congrats!
M-1
D-0
32 years.
M-1, D-0, 30 years coming up in September....19 of those years, i was on active duty...11 years between SF and PSYOP...she would have left me if i had spent another tour at the Infantry School...
as for Martha Stewart...it's not like she was peddling drugs or having a hit put on her ex...she didn't drive her company into ruination like the boys from Enron did...her jail time wasn't punishment, but i doubt that Kenneth Lay winds up in the big house, either...
brewmonkey
03-05-2005, 10:07
I thought Doc had gotten a divorce also...
Hmmm--thread hijack!!
How many divorces and marriages has everyone had? :munchin
D-2
M-3
:D
D-1
M-2
Of course my ex-wife is trying to break some kind of record. I was her 1st husband.
D-3
M-4
and she just turned 32.:eek:
As for Martha, her time under house arrest is a joke IMHO. She has a huge estate and has yet to decide WHICH house on the estate she will confine herself to when she is not working for those 48 hours outside the house.
Of course she is also applying for a permit from her town so that they can film her show on the grounds of her estate.
While she deserved some form of punishment for her actions it seems like she has been let off rather light. I also agree though that since she has the means to pay for her own "incarceration" maybe 2 years house arrest would have been better then the 5 & 5 she got?
I don't know. It seems stupid that we give her 5 months in the Pen while drug peddlers get 30 days in county. :rolleyes:
Trip_Wire (RIP)
03-05-2005, 12:18
As for marriages and divorces:
D-1 (After 17 years)
M-2 (Currant wife for 37 years) :lifter
Roguish Lawyer
03-05-2005, 13:25
M-1
D-0
32 years.
Same number for me, except that we are approaching 10 years.
QRQ:
I am impressed.
Jack Moroney (RIP)
03-05-2005, 15:10
M-1
D-0
Married 40 years. Have known her since we were in first grade together.
Jack Moroney
magician
03-05-2005, 15:16
I am two for two.
Never again.
:)
M-1
D-1
I just finalized it last month. She was a bipolar who refused medical care, and her personality was completely obliterated by the disease. Damn near ruined my life.
BTW, thanks to all for much food for thought and a few laughs over the last few months. I am enjoying getting to know you as I plan my next thirty years. :lifter
BMT (RIP)
03-05-2005, 17:55
M 1
D 0
Married to same gal 43 years!!
BMT
Kyobanim
03-05-2005, 17:58
M2
D1
With the current wife for 20 years. First one hooked up with a marine while I was at jungle school. I never looked back after that.
32 years. Those stats may be different if I had stayed one more term.
Wow! That is longer than a life sentence in Canuckistan.
By now, you could have gotten time off for good behavior! :cool:
Bill Harsey
03-06-2005, 09:35
M-1
D-0
Married a circuit court judges daughter.
That D thing would not be in my favor.
longrange1947
03-06-2005, 09:42
M-1
D-0
Married to the same old broad for 35 years. I met her at Devens when I was in 10th Group. She stayed with me for my remaining 20 years in Special Forces. Heck she even wore a t shirt in Panama we idiots had made up, "A Special Forces Wife, A specially bred woman". :)
It is all her fault, I gave her every opportunity to leave my sorry butt. :D
Goggles Pizano
03-06-2005, 09:52
M-2
D-1
Ex wife was looking for something I could never provide-riches LOL! Ah well, at least I learned a valuable lesson and married a lawyer the second time (motivation to make it work lest I become truly penniless!). Six years and going strong! :lifter
GreenSalsa
03-06-2005, 10:37
"A Special Forces Wife, A specially bred woman" :D
What a COOL shirt...maybe with the PS logo in the center.... :munchin
I hope there is no copyrights to that slogan...
longrange1947
03-06-2005, 12:55
Not to my knowledge. It was made up by Bo Gritz in the mid 70s.
Copy right expired? :munchin
Only a slight hijack!
mffjm8509
03-06-2005, 14:09
M-1
D-0
Married 40 years. Have known her since we were in first grade together.
Jack Moroney
I think you've got us all beat! Congratulations.
This is a great thread, with all the talk of guys in group on mulitiple marraiges. Its nice to see a success story like that.
I'm still on #1, almost 19 years now.
mp
Roguish Lawyer
03-06-2005, 14:11
I'm still on #1, almost 19 years now.
Wow, early start. Congrats.
You have a PM, BTW.
This a.m. my 7 yr old ggrand daughter asked why Martha Stewart went to jail.
My wife says: Because she stole money.
I say: No, she lied to some police.
My wife says: It's the same thing!
With a big wink to Ashley I say: Yes Dear!! :lifter
CommoGeek
03-07-2005, 08:16
M-1
D-0
Length- 5 years despite my "best" efforts. The poor woman's self esteem must be in the toilet to tolerate me. :cool:
Bravo1-3
03-07-2005, 08:28
D1
M2
First one I was married to for all of 4 months before going on a 6 month deployment to Okinawa. I was there for 3 months and got the papers. "Spousal Abandonment"... that was 14 years ago and she STILL bothers me about 2x a year.
I've been married to my current wife for 12 years. We were having some serious issues about a year ago, but we've resolved them. Both of us regret some of the choices we made, but we're a better couple for having worked them out... and they really were some serious issues. I think the difference between the first and second is that the first one wanted a wedding, the second one wanted a marriage.
GreenSalsa
03-07-2005, 10:40
D1
M2
I think the difference between the first and second is that the first one wanted a wedding, the second one wanted a marriage.
...and that is why your marriage will succeed...on a seperate note...how long did you guys (not to Bravo 1-3 but the whole audience) date?
for the record I have been married almost 9 years...we "dated" 35 days...best "snap" decision I ever made (no, there wasn't a pregnancy involved)...we both wanted a marriage...and realized that the "love" part would come if we each wanted it.
Bravo1-3
03-07-2005, 11:11
With the first one, we dated for about a year. With my current wife, we went on one date, and she moved in with me about a week later. We were together for about a year before I proposed, and got married about 6 months after that.
CommoGeek
03-07-2005, 11:49
Dated for 6 months, then we moved in for 10 months before getting married.
I credit 10 months of "living in sin" for helping us learn how to deal with being a couple with no money, work, school, etc. Had we not had that learning curve my stats would be different.
longrange1947
03-07-2005, 15:52
We dated for 6 mo before we eloped. She was French Italian in MA and her French Father was not talking to her Italian mothers side fo the familly. My wife decided to not hurt the familly we would elope. Opps, Catholic religion says we are now living in sin. We have two weddings 30 days apart due to that one.
She was 21 and I had to have her home by mid night. What a familly. :D
Missed the deadline a couple of nights, was that a mistake. Papa and mama were waiting for us. :eek:
M-1
D-0
Married 16 years. Dated for a month then lived together for over a year before getting married. I was 27 at the time.
One thing I decided I wouldn't do was get hitched while I was in the Navy. I was barely mature enough to recognize that my some of my buddies were making some horrendous decisions and marrying the first female that helped them prevent Deadly Sperm Buildup. Many of those guys came back from patrol or a run hurtin' bad. No wife, no money, much debt, and the Navy would stand by the female. From what I've seen on this and other boards it is pretty much the same across the military. Young guys do some stupid s#*t.
More power to you guys that got married while in the service and made it work. It takes a great woman to tolerate and support the lifestyle but the guys that are their partners don't get enough credit in my book.
aricbcool
03-07-2005, 18:28
M-1
D-0
Going on 7 years this November. Gettin' itchy. ;)
We went to high school together. Dated for 8 months. Graduated HS in June, married in November.
The first year was hell, but it's been great since.
--Aric
Kyobanim
03-07-2005, 18:51
Marrige is like a new pair of jeans. Once you break them in, it's a pretty comfortable fit.
Or something like that :)
More power to you guys that got married while in the service and made it work. It takes a great woman to tolerate and support the lifestyle but the guys that are their partners don't get enough credit in my book.I know my husband deserves a medal for the past 26 years. lol
Working together as a team, refusing to quit, being committed, trusting, respecting, having integrity -- it takes more than love to keep a military marriage together. Sometimes, the only thing that keeps it going is pure stubbornness.
frostfire
03-07-2005, 22:10
don't mean to hijack, but inquiring minds want to know....
First, are there operators here who are single, and intend to keep it that way till kingdom come?
(probable cause: perhaps it's too selfish to demand a lady to put up w/ all the worries)
Second, I recall a discussion over the war in Irag with a drop-dead-gorgeous-soon-to-be-doctor lady. Out of the blue, she mentioned she'd never marry a soldier although she had thought over the gov't benefits.
As I reflect over that statement, to all SF/soldiers wives out there (I salute you ladies, you're the unsung heroes):
What motivate you to be willing to commit your life?
"Love"? Taking care the poor lad? For the country?
Marrige is like a new pair of jeans. Once you break them in, it's a pretty comfortable fit.
it helps if you don't wash your jeans in hot water...don't know how that works with wives...
AngelsSix
03-07-2005, 22:36
M1
D1
Currently rooming with a sociopath. The dude needs serious help..... :rolleyes:
Ona better note, I am SINGLE!!!!! (and loving it!!!) :lifter
Kyobanim
03-08-2005, 04:38
it helps if you don't wash your jeans in hot water...don't know how that works with wives...
Even a good wife needs a scrubbin every now and then
D-1
M-2
Get along better with the EX now than we did the whole time while we were married. We never really fought, that would have required talking to eachother. No time to act like idiots, we still have two kids to raise. #2 is totally cool with it. I married the right woman this time.
As I reflect over that statement, to all SF/soldiers wives out there (I salute you ladies, you're the unsung heroes):
What motivate you to be willing to commit your life?
"Love"? Taking care the poor lad? For the country?We were married with one child when he joined. We discussed the decision -- although neither of us really had a clue as to the impact it would have on us, our marriage, or our family. The two times he seriously thought about leaving the service he still owed time. When that time was up, we still wanted to stay in. We had become a military family. It's not one single thing, but a lifestyle that we love. We understand that the hard times make the best times. His bond with his men and women comes from serving with them (in and out of combat). My bond with their spouses and families comes from supporting them while our spouses were gone. You all know how that works. I have born three children, but have many more of my heart that I care for (and that seem to be following us around, lol).
I've said this before, but the military will either make or break your marriage. We have a core of strength that's been tested over and over. Sometimes, the only thing that holds you together is a determination not to quit, a committment to the vow you made. You have to be tough AND flexible. I've seen several friends make it through 20 years in the military and then fall apart either after retirement or after he's no longer operational. They couldn't adjust.
My husband says I still make his heart race. Maybe that's the answer. :D
Jack Moroney (RIP)
03-08-2005, 06:34
We had become a military family.
Now there is a concept/term that is hard to explain to the civilian community.
Jack Moroney
Jack Moroney (RIP)
02-08-2007, 15:22
This thread has been brought back to my attention and I thought it might be worth while resurrecting it in terms of "debts" incurred by SF soldiers as a result of their unselfish commitment to a profession few understand. I am not talking strictly about monetary debts, although we all incur them by virtue of what we all have paid out of pocket just to make things work, but more of the physical and psychological aspects. Lord knows each of us that have left the service are paying physically now for "youthful" indiscretions under various mantras of "more weight", "feel the burn", "if you ain't dying, you ain't trying", "you don't know your limitations", "lead from the front", "set the example", etc, etc, etc. You know as you get old like me and have time to sit quietly in the woods and reflect over years gone by a lot of shadows appear from the woodline of many things and many great people. One story comes to mind of a great soldier, whom I will not identify, whose first wife Dx'ed him. For years he tried to re-establish contact with his son and never was able to. His son was told that his dad had been killed in Vietnam so he never thought to try and find him. One day his son attended a memorial service honoring all the service folks from the area that had been killed in Vietnam and, as it was, so did a member of the organization for which his father , very much alive, worked. When they read off the names out loud the compatriot from work sounded off and said, "Hey, he's not dead, he works where I do, is very much alive, and is going to be really pissed to find out that he is going to have to pay back all that retirement money!" The son approached his father's co-worker and told him he had to be mistaken (now that is not exactly what he said but this is for a family audience). Long story short-father and son reunited and started a new chapter in their lives. You know, we talked a lot about that and he has no clue really why his two former marriages had failed, but his current marriage is going strong. He met his current wife during his final years in service while they both served together. I have often wondered why folks I know and with whom I have served broke apart, but they did and many ugly consequences compounded problems, ruined careers, and screwed up a lot of kids. It was nice to remember one long term debt incurred this time by a dependent son that came due in his favor with interest. So, my point of all of this is one single focus from an old guy who has seen too much of this over the years and it is aimed at all you young studs that are married or thinking of getting married while in SF. You best find a thread that will bind you both together strong enough to weather many storms. It will be different for each of you and it might be to your advantage to find out what works for those that made it because not all commitments are equal and certainly the one you make to SF in many cases will always compete with that you have made to your wife and family. Think about it.
It will be different for each of you and it might be to your advantage to find out what works for those that made it because not all commitments are equal and certainly the one you make to SF in many cases will always compete with that you have made to your wife and family. Think about it.
Sir, If I may add a small reply?
There are women out there who respect the "never quit" attitude, and can appreciate the SF man for who He is. A great and unique individual! :)
Holly
x SF med
02-09-2007, 08:10
Well, my chime in:
M1
D1
I actually got out of SF to get married, she never would have survived my first deployment. We dated for a year after meeting, and I didn't re-up. We were married for 16 years, in that time; she had medical problems that required a hysterectomy, she was diagnosed 'slightly' bipolar, cheated on me multiple times, and finally left me for her boss- a lawyer (they got married last year).
She hadn't ever lived away from home prior to our marriage, and followed in the footsteps of her father, get every financial and material benefit you can, while looking for the next best thing, she left while I was at a meeting, just left a note on the kitchen counter for me....
Glad I kept my Honor, Integrity and Soul through that - and no, I never cheated on her, even after I found out.
Current GF is much better, still a new thing, but a really good fit.
The Reaper
02-09-2007, 08:55
I actually got out of SF to get married, she never would have survived my first deployment. We dated for a year after meeting, and I didn't re-up. We were married for 16 years, in that time; she had medical problems that required a hysterectomy, she was diagnosed 'slightly' bipolar, cheated on me multiple times, and finally left me for her boss- a lawyer (they got married last year).
Well, I hope you sent a him a nice wedding gift, at least a fine bottle or a few good cigars, and told him thanks and good luck.:D
TR
M 1
D 0
Wife fully supports me trying out for SF( actually pushed me to shit or get off the pot)
x SF med
02-09-2007, 10:21
Well, I hope you sent a him a nice wedding gift, at least a fine bottle or a few good cigars, and told him thanks and good luck.:D
TR
I found out they got married when I got a letter from the bank on a closed joint account that her name had changed to his.... all this after she denied that she had been seeing him, or that there was any realtionship - she left, I didn't persue - she made her choice, 'nuff said. But I did send a nice e-mail wishing them happiness, health and a good life. (I don't think it's going to last long, he's married 2 other secretaries each lasted 5 yrs, she's got 4 yrs left, and I'm positive he wrote an iron clad prenup - plus both were cheating on their spouses while starting this relationship). C'est la vie, c'est la guerre, c'est ci bon - n'est pas?
incommin
02-09-2007, 11:32
M-1
D-0
Married for 40 years now and have been happy. However, my spouse is the cause of my not returning to SF after being assigned to US Army Recruiting Command. It is my only regret. She couldn't deal with the alerts, isolation, and my being gone all the time, or my friends trying to back door me when duty called. When I went to talk to my team daddy to get his advice, he told me to go to the club for a few nights and take a look at and talk to all the divorced men there. My father told me that I had an obligation to my two kids........ in the long run he was right. The yoke and sense of responsibility can be heavy.
So now you know the most important story in my life!
Jim
You best find a thread that will bind you both together strong enough to weather many storms. It will be different for each of you and it might be to your advantage to find out what works for those that made it because not all commitments are equal and certainly the one you make to SF in many cases will always compete with that you have made to your wife and family. Think about it.
I couldn't agree more with you that finding a thread or connection is vital to marriage longevity. I wonder, though, if the commitment to SF and the one to your family actually are at odds.
An SF soldier is the best at what he does regarding his job. It took me a while to realize that a number of the SF guys I know see being a husband and father as a job. When he's putting his boots on and going to work he's doing his job as a provider. By deploying he's keeping his family safe. Training has caused you guys to prioritize what needs doing first.
You guys are smarter than average so you make these choices and expect the women you married to understand them without having to break out the crayons.
Somebody said don't let your wife too many civilian friends. That's some good advice. I like it.
M 2 D 1 for me and M 1 D 0 for the SF guy at this house. The SF marriage has lasted 21 years and is still going strong.
Snaquebite
02-09-2007, 12:42
OK, Guess I'll have to go for the record here
D-3
M-4
And keeping this 6' tall redhead....:lifter
Irish_Army01
02-09-2007, 13:24
OK, Guess I'll have to go for the record here
D-3
M-4
And keeping this 6' tall redhead....:lifter
You must be loaded!! lol:D
OK, Guess I'll have to go for the record here
D-3
M-4
And keeping this 6' tall redhead....:lifter
That's not so bad. You and I both know a couple of guys who could give you a run for the title Most Married
...and Divorced.
6' redhead is another matter. You might be in a class of your own there.
Jack Moroney (RIP)
02-09-2007, 14:18
I wonder, though, if the commitment to SF and the one to your family actually are at odds. .
They can be, especially in organizations where your family has to sign non-disclosure statements and/or help maintain your cover. There has to be a real firm bond and mature understanding in those times when the needs of the organization are going to outweigh the needs of the spouse and family and the family cannot be told what is going on. If there are trust problems to begin with, it will go downhill quickly and not only ruin marriages but also careers. I think in those situations where the spouse and family see themseleves as part of the military and not part of the civilian community things go a lot smoother because all concerned are stakeholders in the military effort and commitment. In units where there are dsyfunctional commanders who fail to incorporate the military family into the unit and see them as accompanying baggage and not as integral members of the team, pressures and stress levels can tear apart not only the families but also the troop.
incommin
02-09-2007, 14:42
The good COL wrote, "If there are trust problems to begin with, it will go downhill quickly and not only ruin marriages but also careers. I think in those situations where the spouse and family see themseleves as part of the military and not part of the civilian community things go a lot smoother because all concerned are stakeholders in the military effort and commitment."
There are more issues than trust. The spouse has to be able to make an emotional commitment not only to the marriage but to SF. Some wives are more adapt at living with the alerts and not knowing if a husband is coming home in three day, three weeks, next year, or maybe never! It takes a special wife to deal with the unknown.
For those that did and those that can, God bless them!
Jim
BMT (RIP)
02-09-2007, 14:50
As my wife would say" he is either HERE or GONE". When someone would ask her was it hard being married to a guy in SF.
BMT
x SF med
02-09-2007, 14:54
They can be, especially in organizations where your family has to sign non-disclosure statements and/or help maintain your cover. There has to be a real firm bond and mature understanding in those times when the needs of the organization are going to outweigh the needs of the spouse and family and the family cannot be told what is going on. If there are trust problems to begin with, it will go downhill quickly and not only ruin marriages but also careers.
These are the reasons I decided to get out of SF to get married. I was truly torn, and hindsight being 20/20, I can see my choice to marry was not wrong, but should have been delayed. Live and Learn.
Jack Moroney (RIP)
02-09-2007, 15:00
There are more issues than trust. Jim
Yes there are and many have to do with the individuals involved, the stage of life they are in, their understanding, background, make-up, maturity, emotional stability and it is not just one sided but a two-way street here. I was one of the lucky ones for many reasons but one is that my wife and I were also each other's best friend. I mean, hell, we had known each other since first grade and that must have been fate as I had to repeat first grade twice and it was the second time around that we met. Go figure!
If there are trust problems to begin with, it will go downhill quickly and not only ruin marriages but also careers. I think in those situations where the spouse and family see themseleves as part of the military and not part of the civilian community things go a lot smoother because all concerned are stakeholders in the military effort and commitment.
You hit the nail on the head with that piece of wisdom.
My biggest problem has always been how to complain without making it personal. ("Your job is taking you away again!" I need you here!")
I envy the wives who know how to do that.
Firebeef
02-09-2007, 15:31
M-1
D-1
Married 17 years, divorced within 4 years of retiring.
Now happily....no, make that ECSTATICALLY single!
Me and the ex are good friends.
Still close with my 21 year old Soldier son and his wife, my daughter-in-law; my 19 year old ACLU card carrying, New York liberal daughter, and my 18 year old son....who ..........well, is 18. Zits, rage and testosterone...one crazy combo.
If I had it to do over again, no regrets....about gettin married, or gettin the big D
At work I sometimes tell the younger guys, "if I knew then what I knew now, I'd a had a vasectomey when I was 18", ............. but I'd be lying.
incommin
02-09-2007, 15:38
The two best things about a "good marriage":
The first is a best friend for life. The second is good kids and grand kids to spoil.
Jim
longrange1947
02-09-2007, 18:00
OK, Guess I'll have to go for the record here
D-3
M-4
And keeping this 6' tall redhead....:lifter
Hmmmm, I thought she was "keeping" you. :munchin :D
CoLawman
02-09-2007, 20:24
M1
D0
Married for 30 years, 5 children, 1 grandchild, and hope for another 30 years with her!
Radar Rider
02-09-2007, 21:23
M-1.
And that's it. We've been together for 19 years and married for 18 years. Our 16 year old son is a junior in high school taking Advanced Placement courses. Where ever I go on the planet, I come home to a family that is waiting for my return. I could not have imagined any better family then that I've got now.