Crazy red fox
11-23-2024, 08:57
Part one:
hey guys,
it is an interesting impression to come here among wolves. They are still going here or not so much?:-)
I put on the table topic which is not so much common connected to working with senses, extraordinary perception that could be evoked by as well facing risky or dangerous situations.
In the following text I am gonna mention some specific points of my perspective and background behind. Just a small tasting of it.
Since I have been child I have faced unpleasant, risky or dangerous situations, plenty of times until now.
But before continue in that, maybe it is good but unpleasant to say following things. I was born to family where I was not accept in peace and love. I heard as really young I should be dead plenty of times, specifically to be hang. My father informed me in my early age I wasn t wanted by my mother . She really didn t want me because decades later she told me I was a product of non voluntery sex, she was pressed to do that and that pain of my mother was too much deep to wear baby from it. My older brother tried to have sex with me when I was probably around 7- 8 years old. So let say I didn t come to peace environment.
Why I shared this. Well, it is needed to understand that every my access to every skill of nature that I am gonna mention here, at least a part of that, was born in pain and in deep desire for survival, for life, love and light. Such much simple it is.
When my Parents usually had arguments on a daily basis because of me usually, they took me into arguing every time and I had to protect myself. Well, for many years thousands of days, I had to cry to release the pain from it and sometimes I ran away from the house to the closest park. One time when I did it, I remember, I cried hard and I almost screamed into the air I needed to get help. Like If I said something has to help me, please.
And I don t know how but slowly I started to be very connected to the nature. I remember when I was really young and I was in that park I just came to a tree and hugged it and said in my head hello my brother how are you? I started to experienced very specific things in nature but I takeit more naturally. I was in nature more and more because nature started to give me something and was reacting to me.
At home when I was around ten years old I said my father we should find way to each other. his response was laughing and he added that I will do what he wants me to do. I said I will not let you hurt me, or my mohter. It was like open war that has been started. But my self-determination mode become stronger and stronger. Even I got more wounds for it. Many times later I can see as self-determination mode is vital.
Fighting was not only in home. First time when I got scary outside was around my seven years old I went to my favourite park. When I was passing thick bushes I heard man voice who called my name in scary way and repeated it. I felt beating heart in my neck and I was waiting what will happen and then I started running. Later I do not when My mum told me that the man who did was father of my father who wanted to scare me. Good to say mother of my father was sexually and mentally abused by her own father. So Not so much peace in blood line. Since then I was target for many a lot people many times.
Going back to the point of extraordinary perception.
It is like a wild mix of really sharper senses, extraordinary perception, SA, and something more like x Factor. Old natural system, complex, not one skill. For my whole life, they are total saving practices when I can see danger ahead and that is giving me a time to work with the situation better and then protect myself. But it is not just about that. Nature giving me informations about people situations which I need to get it. Not which I want usually.
Let me give you an idea of what I am talking about at least a bit.
As a teenager, I was walking to the morning shift and there was a man who was just leading his bike. I looked at him and I said in my head why he is leading a bike and not riding it, but then I said to myself, there was a hill before. In a short moment, I received a message into my head, heart, being I do not know how I should name it, from nature, and it was a picture of a heart that is beating really fast and I got a coding message in. Excitement! I got it. But the guy was walking and looking normally but no matter of that I have become more attentive. I continued walking to reach my workplace, the guy passed me, tried to find a good place to surprise me, and started to masturbate then in front of me.
Another experience when I was really young, I was walking my dog in bushes, and from zero point I started to perceive the heat of a human body close to me phycially but no-one was visible around, at that moment I stopped and waited, and then a man arose around 30 meters away in the bushes and he was just crawling before standing up. He was not hunting me but I percieved his body.
When I was 17 years old, walking outside in former militaray space. I reached the top of local hill and I saw group of man, younger guys how they stopped on road where the road from peak was leaded to. They were staying there for a time and I was thinking why so? There is nothing to be in that place. What if they are waiting for me? I just calculated with that option so I didn t follow track that was leaded as only one toward city. I hided myself and continue in different direction to reach city and house. When they didn t see me for a time they were reaching places around peak and they were trying to find me. I heard two of them as they were talking to each other abou who will attack me first, and there were still trying to find me. Around 5, 6 guys, they didn t find me. And that was just a begining. Plenty of others like that were waiting in the row. Man with ax in dark time who tested me, men who were just running after me to get me. And more.
Well, I was born as redhead with blue eyes. Not so much common combination and it means generally I am visible. What is never good. I love peace but I attract mess.
After my 20, at least I would say, whenever I went no matter what I did, I started to encounter guys from police, army, etc. any kind of think or unit. I was sportive a lot, I trained since I was teenager a lot just by myself and I couldn t stop until I went into pain physically. And even continued sometimes. From now I see it as destructive way to beat pain inside of myself but as well love to feel power which arise when you think you Canīt continue, Thanks to that I got my first operation I before my 18.
Well as I started to encountered such guys I found another perspective that will show up as critically important for my whole life. I was desiring for love, I have made decision in my 17, I want to meet man of my life. Well, it doesn t happened (yet). I was traumatised but with powerfull body and smile. Redhead stuff was attractive to taste it, get a ride.
Well, these guys started to train me how not be their prey as woman. Not because they wanted me to train that because they wanted me, and sex. But not love. I started face guys from specific units, good hunters generally, I learned from every encounter. It was always lesson, but usually it was like how can be such small think all the time one step ahead me when I said to man what will be his the next step in tactic. I learned to read them spontaneously not by rigid mind. No, whole me. I was still hunted by idiots outside and in personaly alife for years I met only hunters by their proffesion. Crazy time.
I started going shooting. I was fightfull. I don t want to give anyone any chance to hurt me, my body, anything.
Via this time when I was shooting preparing myself to wear and handle gun I understood I am not ready. I am too much traumatised. I said to myself in that time this:
WHOLE ME NEED TO BECOME WEAPON.
I need to become weapon. It was one of the best thing for me. I follow myself and I gave space for myself. Not about a gun is bad instrument but I needed something more than that. Because I can t shoot every man who goes after me…..I needed to find way how I see, redirect, and fix situations in damn crazy way…as nothing happened.... Because gun couldn t heal my traumas and I couldn t wear it safely…I knew I needed to learn become calm. But for traumatic vulcano it is not easy practise.
Once time when I was leaving swimming pool, alredy in dark, I noticed a man walked ahaed me with basket in hand. After being with my thoughts I looked back in front of me but I didn t see him. There were no house, nothing, just bushes and closed office and sport buildings. I stopped myself and I got totally focused and said myself Where he is?
Well, my eyes found him. He was covered in bushes on one side of that street, kneeled on one knee as runners before start and I looked up to the sky and I asked why me? Why all the time me? I went to back to situation. He was around 25-30 metres far and he started to run after me when I decided to reached people by running who walked up around 100 metres far but he would get me before so I recalculated situation and He was still running to get me….He didn t make it……I found solution.
hey guys,
it is an interesting impression to come here among wolves. They are still going here or not so much?:-)
I put on the table topic which is not so much common connected to working with senses, extraordinary perception that could be evoked by as well facing risky or dangerous situations.
In the following text I am gonna mention some specific points of my perspective and background behind. Just a small tasting of it.
Since I have been child I have faced unpleasant, risky or dangerous situations, plenty of times until now.
But before continue in that, maybe it is good but unpleasant to say following things. I was born to family where I was not accept in peace and love. I heard as really young I should be dead plenty of times, specifically to be hang. My father informed me in my early age I wasn t wanted by my mother . She really didn t want me because decades later she told me I was a product of non voluntery sex, she was pressed to do that and that pain of my mother was too much deep to wear baby from it. My older brother tried to have sex with me when I was probably around 7- 8 years old. So let say I didn t come to peace environment.
Why I shared this. Well, it is needed to understand that every my access to every skill of nature that I am gonna mention here, at least a part of that, was born in pain and in deep desire for survival, for life, love and light. Such much simple it is.
When my Parents usually had arguments on a daily basis because of me usually, they took me into arguing every time and I had to protect myself. Well, for many years thousands of days, I had to cry to release the pain from it and sometimes I ran away from the house to the closest park. One time when I did it, I remember, I cried hard and I almost screamed into the air I needed to get help. Like If I said something has to help me, please.
And I don t know how but slowly I started to be very connected to the nature. I remember when I was really young and I was in that park I just came to a tree and hugged it and said in my head hello my brother how are you? I started to experienced very specific things in nature but I takeit more naturally. I was in nature more and more because nature started to give me something and was reacting to me.
At home when I was around ten years old I said my father we should find way to each other. his response was laughing and he added that I will do what he wants me to do. I said I will not let you hurt me, or my mohter. It was like open war that has been started. But my self-determination mode become stronger and stronger. Even I got more wounds for it. Many times later I can see as self-determination mode is vital.
Fighting was not only in home. First time when I got scary outside was around my seven years old I went to my favourite park. When I was passing thick bushes I heard man voice who called my name in scary way and repeated it. I felt beating heart in my neck and I was waiting what will happen and then I started running. Later I do not when My mum told me that the man who did was father of my father who wanted to scare me. Good to say mother of my father was sexually and mentally abused by her own father. So Not so much peace in blood line. Since then I was target for many a lot people many times.
Going back to the point of extraordinary perception.
It is like a wild mix of really sharper senses, extraordinary perception, SA, and something more like x Factor. Old natural system, complex, not one skill. For my whole life, they are total saving practices when I can see danger ahead and that is giving me a time to work with the situation better and then protect myself. But it is not just about that. Nature giving me informations about people situations which I need to get it. Not which I want usually.
Let me give you an idea of what I am talking about at least a bit.
As a teenager, I was walking to the morning shift and there was a man who was just leading his bike. I looked at him and I said in my head why he is leading a bike and not riding it, but then I said to myself, there was a hill before. In a short moment, I received a message into my head, heart, being I do not know how I should name it, from nature, and it was a picture of a heart that is beating really fast and I got a coding message in. Excitement! I got it. But the guy was walking and looking normally but no matter of that I have become more attentive. I continued walking to reach my workplace, the guy passed me, tried to find a good place to surprise me, and started to masturbate then in front of me.
Another experience when I was really young, I was walking my dog in bushes, and from zero point I started to perceive the heat of a human body close to me phycially but no-one was visible around, at that moment I stopped and waited, and then a man arose around 30 meters away in the bushes and he was just crawling before standing up. He was not hunting me but I percieved his body.
When I was 17 years old, walking outside in former militaray space. I reached the top of local hill and I saw group of man, younger guys how they stopped on road where the road from peak was leaded to. They were staying there for a time and I was thinking why so? There is nothing to be in that place. What if they are waiting for me? I just calculated with that option so I didn t follow track that was leaded as only one toward city. I hided myself and continue in different direction to reach city and house. When they didn t see me for a time they were reaching places around peak and they were trying to find me. I heard two of them as they were talking to each other abou who will attack me first, and there were still trying to find me. Around 5, 6 guys, they didn t find me. And that was just a begining. Plenty of others like that were waiting in the row. Man with ax in dark time who tested me, men who were just running after me to get me. And more.
Well, I was born as redhead with blue eyes. Not so much common combination and it means generally I am visible. What is never good. I love peace but I attract mess.
After my 20, at least I would say, whenever I went no matter what I did, I started to encounter guys from police, army, etc. any kind of think or unit. I was sportive a lot, I trained since I was teenager a lot just by myself and I couldn t stop until I went into pain physically. And even continued sometimes. From now I see it as destructive way to beat pain inside of myself but as well love to feel power which arise when you think you Canīt continue, Thanks to that I got my first operation I before my 18.
Well as I started to encountered such guys I found another perspective that will show up as critically important for my whole life. I was desiring for love, I have made decision in my 17, I want to meet man of my life. Well, it doesn t happened (yet). I was traumatised but with powerfull body and smile. Redhead stuff was attractive to taste it, get a ride.
Well, these guys started to train me how not be their prey as woman. Not because they wanted me to train that because they wanted me, and sex. But not love. I started face guys from specific units, good hunters generally, I learned from every encounter. It was always lesson, but usually it was like how can be such small think all the time one step ahead me when I said to man what will be his the next step in tactic. I learned to read them spontaneously not by rigid mind. No, whole me. I was still hunted by idiots outside and in personaly alife for years I met only hunters by their proffesion. Crazy time.
I started going shooting. I was fightfull. I don t want to give anyone any chance to hurt me, my body, anything.
Via this time when I was shooting preparing myself to wear and handle gun I understood I am not ready. I am too much traumatised. I said to myself in that time this:
WHOLE ME NEED TO BECOME WEAPON.
I need to become weapon. It was one of the best thing for me. I follow myself and I gave space for myself. Not about a gun is bad instrument but I needed something more than that. Because I can t shoot every man who goes after me…..I needed to find way how I see, redirect, and fix situations in damn crazy way…as nothing happened.... Because gun couldn t heal my traumas and I couldn t wear it safely…I knew I needed to learn become calm. But for traumatic vulcano it is not easy practise.
Once time when I was leaving swimming pool, alredy in dark, I noticed a man walked ahaed me with basket in hand. After being with my thoughts I looked back in front of me but I didn t see him. There were no house, nothing, just bushes and closed office and sport buildings. I stopped myself and I got totally focused and said myself Where he is?
Well, my eyes found him. He was covered in bushes on one side of that street, kneeled on one knee as runners before start and I looked up to the sky and I asked why me? Why all the time me? I went to back to situation. He was around 25-30 metres far and he started to run after me when I decided to reached people by running who walked up around 100 metres far but he would get me before so I recalculated situation and He was still running to get me….He didn t make it……I found solution.