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Box
12-23-2020, 08:05
The holiday season means a lot of things to a lot of people; Christmas, Hanukah, Bodhi Day, Panchaa Ganapati, Yule, Yalda, Kwanzaa...
...whatever you practice, December is a great time to celebrate.

Perhaps though, you feel a little different this time of year. Perhaps you hold these holidays sacred in your own little way but the modern day trend to commercialize and politicize everything has just left you feeling a bit empty.

Its been a rough year - COVID, demomcrats, ammo shortages, democrats and COVID, elections have been compromised, COVID and democrats, the economy has taken a hit, and worst of all, the 'little guy' is feeling some real financial pain during a time of year that costs a lot of money. For shit sakes - I was looking for Christmas trees this year and they are two and three times as expensive as they've been in the past.

What's a decent workin' man supposed to do this time of year?
I'll tel;l you what the common man can do - take a step back - take a deep breath - take a break from the crazy and remember - there is a “a Festivus for the rest of us” to enjoy on this sacred 23rd Day of December.

In fact - how many of you looged on this morning thinking you'd see a festivus thread?
...here it is - bam - a Festivus miracle.

My first cup of coffee this morning had the perfect strength and aroma - another Festivus miracle.

Coming through the gate on post - I didn't have to wait on another car - I rode right up to the gate...
...another Festivus miracle.

To practice the traditionl "feats of strength" - I carried my computer, my coffee cup, and my badge holder up three flights of stair using only one hand...
...without tripping.

Now, for the "airing of grievances"
...the government sucks
...democrats suck worse than the government itself
...republicans suck for not being as good at politicking as the democrats
...I'm very unhappy with all of these bureaucratic cocksuckers

Yes - I have a Christmas tree as well as a Festivus pole - so what - you wont find any tinsel on that tree though because I too, find tinsel distracting.



So, in the spirit of the holidays I wish you a very happy Festivus.

bblhead672
12-23-2020, 08:36
T
...the government sucks
...democrats suck worse than the government itself
...republicans suck for not being as good at politicking as the democrats
...I'm very unhappy with all of these bureaucratic cocksuckers


That bears repeating over and over.

Happy Festivus!

rsdengler
12-23-2020, 10:34
Now, for the "airing of grievances"
...the government sucks
...democrats suck worse than the government itself
...republicans suck for not being as good at politicking as the democrats
...I'm very unhappy with all of these bureaucratic cocksuckers

Yes - I have a Christmas tree as well as a Festivus pole - so what - you wont find any tinsel on that tree though because I too, find tinsel distracting.



So, in the spirit of the holidays I wish you a very happy Festivus.

Hear...Here....Happy Festivus.....I need to find a Festivus Pole, probably cost me more then $600 in Stimulus Money....I'll need a Festivus Drink after work....:D

Box
12-23-2020, 10:42
Before you spend your 600 dollar stimulus check on booze...
...the Festivus pole is not supposed to be used for dancing.

be careful

Gypsy
12-23-2020, 11:35
Happy Festivus for the rest of us!

JJ_BPK
12-23-2020, 12:06
An AD friend up here it NOVA has a Festivus event annually.

This yrs yard decoration :D

cat in the hat
12-23-2020, 13:23
Before you spend your 600 dollar stimulus check on booze...
...the Festivus pole is not supposed to be used for dancing.

be careful

Yes be careful when using the festivus pole for "non-violent rhythmic protest" and of course "tastefully presented Feats of Strength "

But when big brother asks, it IS dancing. That way your festivus church can remain open like to the strip clubs

rsdengler
12-23-2020, 14:52
Yes be careful when using the festivus pole for "non-violent rhythmic protest" and of course "tastefully presented Feats of Strength "

But when big brother asks, it IS dancing. That way your festivus church can remain open like to the strip clubs

Oh gee, what the heck I don't have anything else better to do for the Christmas Holidays....Decorate that bad boy and let's roll.......:D

Remington Raidr
12-23-2020, 16:42
but the way society is going, it is only a matter of time before Festivus is a federal holiday.;)

tom kelly
12-23-2020, 18:33
Where is the HAZARD WARNING: Tinsel...Contains LEAD, Handling may result in Exposure which may be harmful to your health... Wash your hands after handling, Have adequate ventilation at all times... Wear a mask...Moses only lived to be 900 and DID NOT put Tinsel on his Christmas Tree. HAPPY FESTIVUS...

Box
12-23-2020, 22:40
Disclaimer...
...since there was mention of decorations containing lead, I find it important to make a few statements:

My Festivus pole is made from a special lead-free, eco-friendly, 100% recycled, greenwashed aluminum alloy, responsibly sourced from sustainable Argentinian bauxite mines owned by specially selected private bauxite mine owners in financially downtrodden communities with active verified fair-trade agreements.

This year my traditional Festivus meatloaf dinner is going to be made from ethically sourced gluten-free low-fat protein-rich seitan patties slow-cooked in a rich and tangy low sodium vegan-friendly mineral water broth...

Believe me, on this one - finding gluten-free seitan and Argentinian bauxite was nothing short of a Festivus miracle.

Swoop
12-24-2020, 07:26
Happy Festivus to all! Here’s looking for a better year in 2021...Hey, a person can dream can’t they?


God Bless Us, Everyone!


DOL

Old Dog New Trick
12-24-2020, 07:29
^^^What he said!

Happy Festivus to all!

Golf1echo
12-24-2020, 11:48
Although I discovered this in the Summer it has given me more time to reflect on the genius, the audacity, the science bending paradigm of this unique benefit to mankind. Behold and if you can find it include it in your celebration. Again Kudos to the people who came up with the 30 Pack.


Warning: It is like making love by the Lake...






....It is pretty near water:D

Requiem
12-24-2020, 14:30
Happy Festivus to all! Here’s looking for a better year in 2021...Hey, a person can dream can’t they?


God Bless Us, Everyone!


DOL

I dunno about that. Wait til 2020 turns 2021 and starts drinking. :D

S.

cat in the hat
12-24-2020, 15:27
I dunno about that. Wait til 2020 turns 2021 and starts drinking. :D

S.

The real picker up moment comes when 2021 says "hey 2020 hold my beer, watch this!!!!!"

Requiem
12-24-2020, 20:36
The real picker up moment comes when 2021 says "hey 2020 hold my beer, watch this!!!!!"

:D

I'm equal parts terrified and amused.

S.