View Full Version : Airsoft the Greek Philosophizer
According to most researchers, Airsoft lived in Delphi in the year 2500 BC (Before Clinton). Airsoft is best known for his educational fables – most of his stories recounted the actions of common folk, supernatural animals, and inanimate objects that would speak, solve problems, and generally display oddly bizarre behavior. One of my favorite of Airsofts Fables when I was growing up was the story of The Non-Gender Specific Protestor That Cried Racist…
A non-gender specific protestor was participating in a peaceful riot near a private business not far from his own subdivision. Soon the non-gender specific protestor found life in the peaceful protest very dull. All the protestor could do for amusement was to play on a smartphone or toke on a crack pipe.
One day as the non-gender specific protestor sat watching the other sheep starting fires during the peaceful protest, the protestor started to wonder what would happen if a racist showed up at a peaceful protest - so the protestor immediately devised a plan for some self-amusement.
The community organizer had always told the protestors to call out “racist” if anyone with differing opinions should ever question the narrative of the flock so the Social Justice Warriors could come along and cancel them for questioning liberal narratives. So even though the non-gender specific protestor had not seen anything that even looked like a racist, the protestor ran through the crowd shouting as loud as possible, “Racist!! Racist!!”
As expected, the CNN reporters that heard the cry dropped their work and ran with great excitement in hopes of getting a video clip or soundbite for the 6 O’clock news. When they got there, they found the protestor doubled up with laughter at how easy it was to make fools out of field reporters. To cover their embarrassment, the reporters simply reported that the burning cars, shattered store windows, and constant parade of peaceful protestors with large screen TV’s were really just white supremacists paid by right wing talk show hosts to riot and blame the chaos on peaceful protestors…
A few days later the child again shouted, " Racist!! Racist!!” and again, the field reporters simply reported that the burning cars, shattered store windows, and parade of peaceful protestors with large screen TV’s were really just white supremacists paid by right wing talk show hosts to riot and blame the chaos on peaceful protestors…
The child continued this charade for days on end and every time, the field reporters simply reported that the burning cars, shattered store windows, the parade of peaceful protestors with large screen TV’s, and the rascals carrying cases of beer and cigarettes from the burning Circle-K were really just white supremacists paid by right wing talk show hosts to riot and blame the chaos on peaceful protestors…
Politicians began to kneel before the cameras to virtue signal how woke they were to believe the lying little attention-starved protestors even though it had become obvious that “Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K” Then one evening as the sun was setting behind the smoking remains of the urban landscape, a racist really did spring from the shadows and fell upon the non-gender specific protestor like a tankful of angry stingrays on the Crocodile Hunter.
In terror, the non-gender specific protestor ran toward the liberal field reporters shouting "Racist!! Racist!!” The CNN field reporters jumped with glee as they fired up their cameras to record the epic ass whipping being levied against the protestor…
…"Racist!! Racist!! Racist!! Racist!!” the non-gender specific protestor screamed in hopes of getting help form the media but alas, the media knew all along that the non-gender specific protestor was full of more shit than a 1000-gallon septic tank. The field reporter and camera crew were only there to get a video clip of a racist beating up a protestor.
The mob jumped on the racist and tore him apart like flying monkeys on a talking scarecrow. The CNN news crew recorded their footage, left the non-gender specific protestor beaten, bruised, and curled up in a ball on the dirty urine-stained sidewalk like a muddy poncho liner after a three-day patrol in the swamps. The news crew jumped in their van and high tailed it back to the gentrified section of town where they knew they were safe…
For the next three weeks the news station ran the video clip non-stop to prove that the violence at the peaceful protest was being caused by conservative talk radio and the NRA.
The moral of the story – if you go to a riot and instigate trouble – you might just get fucked up and left in the gutter.
bblhead672
07-16-2020, 08:50
Tell us another story Uncle Box :D
Badger52
07-23-2020, 05:40
"Yes, more please."
There should be a book of these.
"Yes, more please." There should be a book of these.
The Box Book of Airsopica
Hardbound limited edition with illustrations :lifter
rsdengler
07-23-2020, 08:50
The Book of Box
Hardbound limited edition with illustrations :lifter
LOL...Love it, but you'll make his head swell.....:p
The Book of Box
Hardbound limited edition with illustrations :lifter
Just a warning - but some of those illustrations are going to be VERY NSFW.
...but since there seems to be a slight degree of interest, I offer another installment of Airsofts Fables. (As a bit of trivia, the overall collection of tales would be referred to as the Airsopica.)
Pay attention - because my next tale is unfolding across the country before your very eyes. It's called "The Liberal SJWs and the Citizens"............
A pack of dirty smelly Liberal SJWs with brightly dyed hair and angry faces lurked near the citizens homes but the Police kept them all at a respectful distance, and the mindless gullible citizens grazed on their gluten free vegan free trade organic meals in perfect safety. Undeterred, the Liberal SJWs thought of a plan to trick the citizens.
"Why is there always this hostility between us?" the Liberal SJWs proclaimed to the citizens. "If it were not for those racist, abusive, self centered, police constantly stirring up trouble and murdering innocent citizens that have never even been in trouble their entire lives, we would all get along beautifully."
The Liberals SJW's then marched to the local police precinct and set the building ablaze; quickly reminding the mindless gullible citizens "Don't you see, this is all because of the police...
...we are just peaceful protestors."
The mindless gullible citizens were confused because it was obvious that the Liberal SJWs were just violent lawbreaking assholes that set the city on fire but the mindless gullible citizens were too ignorant and cowardly to say anything in fear that the Liberal SJWs would accuse THEM of being racist, abusive, and self centered.
The Liberal SJWs were emboldened by the tacit support provided by politicians like Crazy Nancy and Fat Jerry and gave ultimatums to the terrified mindless gullible citizens: "Defund the police and you will see what good friends we shall become."
The mindless gullible citizens were easily fooled and quickly appealed to the Liberal SJWs that served in the city council and other government offices. They petitioned the closeted Liberal SJWs in government to make the police go away - far far away. That very week, the Liberal SJWs burned down MORE buildings, ripped down historic statues, defaced monuments, beat mothers in front of their children, killed children in front of their mothers, and even put a convicted domestic terrorist in charge of their financial interests. The Liberal SJWs were revealed to be like a pack of ravenous wolves feasting on the poor mindless gullible citizens as though they were soft, weak, helpless, and tasty - very tasty sheep...
The moral of this story?
-Do not give up friends for foes. Also, Liberal SJWs should be burned at the stake like witches in Massachusetts in the 1690s !!!
Editors Note: It is purely a coincidence that even in the 1690's the leadership in places like Massachusetts relied on the ignorant use of fire as a way of passing judgement on those people that held differing social values.
Badger52
07-23-2020, 14:37
Editors Note: It is purely a coincidence that even in the 1690's the leadership in places like Massachusetts relied on the ignorant use of fire as a way of passing judgement on those people that held differing social values.Flammenwerfer - It's not just for Tailgating.
bblhead672
07-23-2020, 16:28
Every day without Airsopica is like a day without sunshine, cigars and 12 year old scotch.
uberkamper
08-09-2020, 20:04
Amazon's Top 10?
Alright you band of barrel bellied, glassy eyed killers...
LISTEN UP
I'm about to drop some story telling up in here. Admittedly, I've already posted this "elsewhere" on the interwebz - but then I thought to myself...
I thought, "Self, why didn't you post this madness in the thread most associated with the deconstruction and ridicule of Aesop's Fables under the magnifying glass of a failing nation being led by a bunch of violin playing grasshoppers while the hard working ants scurry about doing their very best to scrimp and save so they can feed their families while the corrupt left fiddles and diddles...
...so here it is my friends,
The Story of the Whining, Starving, Leftist, Anti-Trump, Establishment, Communist Sympathizing, Marxist, Socialist Democrat, Grasshopper and the Hard Working, Conservative, Right Leaning, Trump Supporting, Ant.
One bright day in late autumn a group of hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal Trump supporters were bustling about in the warm sunshine, drying out the grain they had stored up during the summer, when a dirty, corrupt, whining, discontented, freedom hating, starving, leftist, anti-Trump, establishment, communist sympathizing, marxist, socialist democrat, with a copy of "Heather Has Two Mommies" tucked under "XE/Xir/Xem" arm came up to them and arrogantly demanded that the hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal Trump supporters share their wealth and give them some of their food...
"What!" cried the hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal Trump supporters in surprise, "haven't you stored anything away for the winter? What in the world were you doing all summer?"
"We didn't have time to store up any food,"said the dirty, corrupt, whining, discontented, freedom hating, starving, leftist, anti-Trump, establishment, communist sympathizing, marxist, socialist democrat; "We were busy butt fucking all of the other dirty, corrupt, whining, discontented, freedom hating, starving, leftist, anti-Trump, establishment, communist sympathizing, marxist, socialist democrats in an empty congressional chamber and then posting it on the internet; then, before we knew it, summer was gone, the election had been bought and paid for, and the economy was still in shambles...
...but at least Kamala is president now !!!"
The hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal Trump supporters shrugged their shoulders in disgust.
Then, President Kamala sent her weaponized DOJ, the IRS, and a bastion of dirty, smelling, starving, whining, entitled, leftist, anti-Trump, establishment, communist sympathizing, blue haired, Marxist, socialist democrats against the hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal, Trump supporters to riot and burn their neighborhoods in a deadly series of "peaceful protests" until there was nothing left but violence, misery, poverty, and chaos...
...and the Limousine Liberals that launched their coup against a frail and mentally compromised old man, and then used corruption and deceit to fixed the election so they could finally take full control of the country and usher in an era of leftist tyranny - lived happily ever after - on the backs of a nation full of gullible fools.
The End
...the rest, they say, is history.
First , extremely well done as usual, sir.
Second, I’m terribly afraid that this is accurate and will be the end of the story.:(
I’m terribly afraid that this is accurate and will be the end of the story...
That's why I post stuff like this in "The Comedy zone" - I can pretend that the story isn't real.
Roguish Lawyer
10-02-2024, 07:49
That's why I post stuff like this in "The Comedy zone" - I can pretend that the story isn't real.
:mad:
No frown emojis in the comedy zone - only happy faces and good "vibes"...
(i use the word vibe because it is all the rage with the talking head left leaning TV show hosts right now)
Badger52
10-02-2024, 19:43
No frown emojis in the comedy zone - only happy faces and good "vibes"...
(i use the word vibe because it is all the rage with the talking head left leaning TV show hosts right now)
Sergeant Oddball Approved ™ :D
Roguish Lawyer
10-03-2024, 17:09
No frown emojis in the comedy zone - only happy faces and good "vibes"...
(i use the word vibe because it is all the rage with the talking head left leaning TV show hosts right now)
That's an angry emoji, based on the story being real.
:cool:
bblhead672
10-07-2024, 09:01
Oh, Uncle Box, your stories have become dark and gloomy.
Is there perhaps a chance for the Hard Working, Conservative, Right Leaning, Trump Supporting, Ant to vote himself out of this mess by re-electing Republicans? :D
:munchin
I don't know.
Who exactly are these "Republicans" that you speak of?
Names like Collins, Romney, Bush, McCain, Cheney, Burr, Kasich, and even some guy named Pence are all associated with this strange breed of politician that you are referring to and yet, I just don't think those "republicans" are going to get us there.
Alas, poor Republicans!
I knew them, bblhead672.
A party of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.
They hath borne me on their back a thousand times.
...but now, how abhorred in my imagination they are!
My gorge rises at it.
Here hung their lies that I have believed as truth I know not how oft.
Where be their gibes now...
...their gambols
...their songs
...their flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar?
Not one now, to mock their own grinning?
Just a final thought - for those of you that only recognize the "Alas Poor Yorick" portion of my silliness - what did Yorick do before suffering decades of death, decay, corruption, and lifelessness in his dirty muddy grave?
He was the Kings Jester...
...just like the current crop of "Republicans" poluting the halls of power in permanent DC
A band of hapless court jesters loyal to the king - but not the court.
Ah yes, "Republicans"
bblhead672
10-08-2024, 06:13
The GOP - screwing up America since 1854.
All right fuckers…
…time for another installment of metaphoric wisdom
…time for another tale from Airsoft the Greek Philosophizer
…it’s story time with Uncle Box
Airsoft the Greek Philosophizer provides timeless lessons through allegory and shared human experiences. One such tale examines modern day America and our current conflict with Iran. Some of you may find it similar to the tale of "The Farmer and the Viper."
Once upon a time, there was a Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist and a hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran…
…the Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist suffered from severe mental illness and was apologetic of, and possibly even suffering from, several different types of what I’ll just refer to as “social dysphoria”
One day, the Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist was wandering through a frozen apocalyptic snow covered hell scape that had been ravaged by unchecked ab hominibus global warming. The Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist’s hair seemed to glow from the numerous pastel colored shades of blue, pink, green, and purple in (they/them/their) hair. The stainless-steel nose, lip, eyebrow, ear cartilage, and septum rings from the Piercing Pagoda were gleaming in the noon day sun as (they/them/their) walked cautiously across the tundra, frozen solid by global warming.
As the Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist choked on the fresh air, gasping for a reality soothing breath of freshly burned cannabis sativa leaves, when (they/them/their) stumbled upon a wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran, nearly frozen to death from the accumulation of fluffy white global warming. The hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran admittedly had close ties to Hezbollah, the Houthis, Palestinian Islamic Jihad, Hamas, the Al Ashtar Brigades, Saraya al Mukhtar, and even 23-year-old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, (the Nigerian national that tried to detonate his underpants on a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit) but none of that mattered. What mattered was that the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran, absolutely hated America, and more importantly, the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran hated Donald Trump. The Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist just barely heard the muffled anti-American rhetoric from the nearly frozen wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran cried out with a dying breath…
“Help me, comrade! We both hate the same oppressors!”
The Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist, blinded by the warm glow of shared grievances, and a generally misguided hatred of civilized western society, joyously replied...
“Well, who cares if you’re filled with toxic rage and unfounded hatred of innocent people that reject your violent radical religious practices, you hate capitalism and Donald Trump and that’s all that matters in a world that demands peace, love, and tolerance !!!”
The Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist gleefully rescued the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran. They/Them/Their, took him home, wrapped him in a warm blanket of solidarity, and even fixed him a nice warm mug full of fair-trade coffee with a splash of plant based non-dairy creamer.
The wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran eased into his surroundings and began to observe the Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist’s daily rituals. His first instinct was to treat the Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist like an Afghani would treat a Bacha Bazi, but something was…
…off
Was it the numerous shades of pastel colored hair?
Was it the stainless-steel nose, lip, eyebrow, ear cartilage, and septum rings scattered across they/them/their face?
Was it just the irritating, self righteous, indignant, smug, holier than thou, know it all, condescending attitude?
Who can tell…
Regardless, the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran absorbed the Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist’s progressive ideals like a predator sizing up its next meal.
“What in the actual fuck is it that I hate so much about this Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist’s progressive ideals?” Thought the Iranian…
Is it their bizarre obsession with gender equality?
Is it some illogical dedication to the concept of LGBTQ+ rights?
Secularism?
Global Warming?
Rights for the criminal?
"I don’t have time to worry about all that,” hissed the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran. “I’ll deal with those pesky details later. For now, let’s just focus on dismantling their system!”
And so, the Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist and the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran formed their unlikely alliance and began marching side by side against imperialism, oppression, and the evils of the West. The Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist proudly blasted capitalism by using they/them/their 1100 dollar iPhone 17 Pro, to post countless selfies with the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran on they/them/their social media site, captioning them with hashtags like #Solidarity and #IntersectionalRevolution.
Meanwhile, the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien was no longer frozen in two feet of frozen fluffy white global warming. He was warm, and healthy, and had a belly full of Hickory Smoked Bacon and Iberico Pork. The wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien began quietly sharpening his fangs and preparing for his next violent terrorist act against the infidels; waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
Then came the inevitable conclusion to our story; the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran struck – and he struck with a horrid level of unbelievable violence. Not only did the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran strike, he struck the Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist hardest of all.
In an act of finality, 17 stories into the New York City Skyline, he ceremoniously defenestrated the naive, ignorant, irritating, self righteous, indignant, smug, holier than thou, know it all, condescending Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist…
As the naive, ignorant, irritating, self righteous, indignant, smug, holier than thou, know it all, condescending Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist fell 17 stories to they/them/their death, they/them/their cried out in disbelief…
“But, whyyyy?!”
The wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran simply shrugged and replied,
“You knew who I was when you pulled me from beneath the fluffy white frozen global warming.”
…and then the overweight rainbow haired Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist slammed into the concrete pavement at 85 miles an hour and came apart like a tomato being hit with an aluminum softball bat.
So...
...what is the moral of this story, you might ask ???
Well, the absurdity of these unholy alliances that we see in our American politicians, celebrities, wealthy elites, and even the rank and file fan of “The View” is almost Shakespearean in its tragic irony. Left-wing activists, who champion progressive values, consistently invite these venomous ideologies into their homes – blindly believing that they wont get bit.
It’s like throwing a dinner party - inviting a grizzly bear - and then acting surprised when it eats one of your friends. Sure, you both hate the same hunters, but that doesn’t mean the bear won’t maul you once the ocean caught, organicly sourced, ethicly prepared salmon filets run out.
Let’s not forget the wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran and HIS perspective in all this mess. From their point of view, American leftists are nothing more than useful idiots. A temporary ally that will help achieve some nefarious goal before being discarded (or devoured). In many cases, the “predator” has less respect for these fair weather friends than they do for mainstream western society...
...at least main stream society has a consistent ethos.
The wayward hate filled Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran doesn’t care about the lefts values; it cares about survival and dominance through violence. They don't care about democracy. They care about the installment of Sharia Law. They are NOT here in America to join a revolution (not in their role as a big city Mayor and not in their role as swindlers overrunning the entire state of Minnesota) they are here to hijack it and destroy it.
These assholes on “the left” all think that it’s fun to chant "anti-the-current-thing" slogans together while using a human wave to block traffic, but they are too fucking stoo-stoo-stooopid to posses the foresight needed to realize that they are going to wake up one day to find that their edgy new ally has turned their progressive utopia into a dystopian nightmare.
So, in closing, the next time a Radical Left Wing Liberal Democrat Activist is tempted to form an alliance with Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal alien from Iran that fundamentally opposes everything you stand for, just remember: solidarity is great, but survival is better.
And Ultra-Radical Islamo-Fascist illegal aliens from Iran? Well, they’re not known for their loyalty.
…cleared hot from the IP
If they fall in love and have a kid would they be a "Ultra-Radical Left Wing Liberal hate filled Islamo-Activist"?
If they fall in love and have a kid would they be a "Ultra-Radical Left Wing Liberal hate filled Islamo-Activist"?
No.
Sadly, she would just be forced to wear a burka and when she tried to speak out, her husband would just tell her to shut the fuck up...
...maybe even take away her credit cards and her car keys.
...and it would be Trumps fault
1stindoor
03-25-2026, 10:24
No.
Sadly, she would just be forced to wear a burka and when she tried to speak out, her husband would just tell her to shut the fuck up...
...maybe even take away her credit cards and her car keys.
...and it would be Trumps fault
Perfect ending to your moral story.
That story doesn't belong to "Box" my good friend - the story belongs to Airsoft the Greek Philosophizer - number 176 in the "Perry Index".
Even the moral of the story belong to good 'ole Airsoft:
"...kindness to evil will be met by betrayal"
All I did was translate the 2,500 year old text so that it could be understood by a modern audience !!!