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Box
07-15-2020, 22:43
According to most researchers, Airsoft lived in Delphi in the year 2500 BC (Before Clinton). Airsoft is best known for his educational fables – most of his stories recounted the actions of common folk, supernatural animals, and inanimate objects that would speak, solve problems, and generally display oddly bizarre behavior. One of my favorite of Airsofts Fables when I was growing up was the story of The Non-Gender Specific Protestor That Cried Racist…

A non-gender specific protestor was participating in a peaceful riot near a private business not far from his own subdivision. Soon the non-gender specific protestor found life in the peaceful protest very dull. All the protestor could do for amusement was to play on a smartphone or toke on a crack pipe.

One day as the non-gender specific protestor sat watching the other sheep starting fires during the peaceful protest, the protestor started to wonder what would happen if a racist showed up at a peaceful protest - so the protestor immediately devised a plan for some self-amusement.

The community organizer had always told the protestors to call out “racist” if anyone with differing opinions should ever question the narrative of the flock so the Social Justice Warriors could come along and cancel them for questioning liberal narratives. So even though the non-gender specific protestor had not seen anything that even looked like a racist, the protestor ran through the crowd shouting as loud as possible, “Racist!! Racist!!”

As expected, the CNN reporters that heard the cry dropped their work and ran with great excitement in hopes of getting a video clip or soundbite for the 6 O’clock news. When they got there, they found the protestor doubled up with laughter at how easy it was to make fools out of field reporters. To cover their embarrassment, the reporters simply reported that the burning cars, shattered store windows, and constant parade of peaceful protestors with large screen TV’s were really just white supremacists paid by right wing talk show hosts to riot and blame the chaos on peaceful protestors…

A few days later the child again shouted, " Racist!! Racist!!” and again, the field reporters simply reported that the burning cars, shattered store windows, and parade of peaceful protestors with large screen TV’s were really just white supremacists paid by right wing talk show hosts to riot and blame the chaos on peaceful protestors…

The child continued this charade for days on end and every time, the field reporters simply reported that the burning cars, shattered store windows, the parade of peaceful protestors with large screen TV’s, and the rascals carrying cases of beer and cigarettes from the burning Circle-K were really just white supremacists paid by right wing talk show hosts to riot and blame the chaos on peaceful protestors…

Politicians began to kneel before the cameras to virtue signal how woke they were to believe the lying little attention-starved protestors even though it had become obvious that “Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K” Then one evening as the sun was setting behind the smoking remains of the urban landscape, a racist really did spring from the shadows and fell upon the non-gender specific protestor like a tankful of angry stingrays on the Crocodile Hunter.

In terror, the non-gender specific protestor ran toward the liberal field reporters shouting "Racist!! Racist!!” The CNN field reporters jumped with glee as they fired up their cameras to record the epic ass whipping being levied against the protestor…
…"Racist!! Racist!! Racist!! Racist!!” the non-gender specific protestor screamed in hopes of getting help form the media but alas, the media knew all along that the non-gender specific protestor was full of more shit than a 1000-gallon septic tank. The field reporter and camera crew were only there to get a video clip of a racist beating up a protestor.

The mob jumped on the racist and tore him apart like flying monkeys on a talking scarecrow. The CNN news crew recorded their footage, left the non-gender specific protestor beaten, bruised, and curled up in a ball on the dirty urine-stained sidewalk like a muddy poncho liner after a three-day patrol in the swamps. The news crew jumped in their van and high tailed it back to the gentrified section of town where they knew they were safe…

For the next three weeks the news station ran the video clip non-stop to prove that the violence at the peaceful protest was being caused by conservative talk radio and the NRA.

The moral of the story – if you go to a riot and instigate trouble – you might just get fucked up and left in the gutter.

bblhead672
07-16-2020, 08:50
Tell us another story Uncle Box :D

Badger52
07-23-2020, 05:40
"Yes, more please."

There should be a book of these.

JJ_BPK
07-23-2020, 07:46
"Yes, more please." There should be a book of these.

The Box Book of Airsopica

Hardbound limited edition with illustrations :lifter

rsdengler
07-23-2020, 08:50
The Book of Box

Hardbound limited edition with illustrations :lifter

LOL...Love it, but you'll make his head swell.....:p

Box
07-23-2020, 09:09
The Book of Box

Hardbound limited edition with illustrations :lifter

Just a warning - but some of those illustrations are going to be VERY NSFW.
...but since there seems to be a slight degree of interest, I offer another installment of Airsofts Fables. (As a bit of trivia, the overall collection of tales would be referred to as the Airsopica.)

Pay attention - because my next tale is unfolding across the country before your very eyes. It's called "The Liberal SJWs and the Citizens"............

A pack of dirty smelly Liberal SJWs with brightly dyed hair and angry faces lurked near the citizens homes but the Police kept them all at a respectful distance, and the mindless gullible citizens grazed on their gluten free vegan free trade organic meals in perfect safety. Undeterred, the Liberal SJWs thought of a plan to trick the citizens.

"Why is there always this hostility between us?" the Liberal SJWs proclaimed to the citizens. "If it were not for those racist, abusive, self centered, police constantly stirring up trouble and murdering innocent citizens that have never even been in trouble their entire lives, we would all get along beautifully."
The Liberals SJW's then marched to the local police precinct and set the building ablaze; quickly reminding the mindless gullible citizens "Don't you see, this is all because of the police...
...we are just peaceful protestors."

The mindless gullible citizens were confused because it was obvious that the Liberal SJWs were just violent lawbreaking assholes that set the city on fire but the mindless gullible citizens were too ignorant and cowardly to say anything in fear that the Liberal SJWs would accuse THEM of being racist, abusive, and self centered.

The Liberal SJWs were emboldened by the tacit support provided by politicians like Crazy Nancy and Fat Jerry and gave ultimatums to the terrified mindless gullible citizens: "Defund the police and you will see what good friends we shall become."

The mindless gullible citizens were easily fooled and quickly appealed to the Liberal SJWs that served in the city council and other government offices. They petitioned the closeted Liberal SJWs in government to make the police go away - far far away. That very week, the Liberal SJWs burned down MORE buildings, ripped down historic statues, defaced monuments, beat mothers in front of their children, killed children in front of their mothers, and even put a convicted domestic terrorist in charge of their financial interests. The Liberal SJWs were revealed to be like a pack of ravenous wolves feasting on the poor mindless gullible citizens as though they were soft, weak, helpless, and tasty - very tasty sheep...

The moral of this story?
-Do not give up friends for foes. Also, Liberal SJWs should be burned at the stake like witches in Massachusetts in the 1690s !!!





Editors Note: It is purely a coincidence that even in the 1690's the leadership in places like Massachusetts relied on the ignorant use of fire as a way of passing judgement on those people that held differing social values.

Badger52
07-23-2020, 14:37
Editors Note: It is purely a coincidence that even in the 1690's the leadership in places like Massachusetts relied on the ignorant use of fire as a way of passing judgement on those people that held differing social values.Flammenwerfer - It's not just for Tailgating.

bblhead672
07-23-2020, 16:28
Every day without Airsopica is like a day without sunshine, cigars and 12 year old scotch.

uberkamper
08-09-2020, 20:04
Amazon's Top 10?

Box
09-27-2024, 09:58
Alright you band of barrel bellied, glassy eyed killers...

LISTEN UP

I'm about to drop some story telling up in here. Admittedly, I've already posted this "elsewhere" on the interwebz - but then I thought to myself...

I thought, "Self, why didn't you post this madness in the thread most associated with the deconstruction and ridicule of Aesop's Fables under the magnifying glass of a failing nation being led by a bunch of violin playing grasshoppers while the hard working ants scurry about doing their very best to scrimp and save so they can feed their families while the corrupt left fiddles and diddles...
...so here it is my friends,

The Story of the Whining, Starving, Leftist, Anti-Trump, Establishment, Communist Sympathizing, Marxist, Socialist Democrat, Grasshopper and the Hard Working, Conservative, Right Leaning, Trump Supporting, Ant.

One bright day in late autumn a group of hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal Trump supporters were bustling about in the warm sunshine, drying out the grain they had stored up during the summer, when a dirty, corrupt, whining, discontented, freedom hating, starving, leftist, anti-Trump, establishment, communist sympathizing, marxist, socialist democrat, with a copy of "Heather Has Two Mommies" tucked under "XE/Xir/Xem" arm came up to them and arrogantly demanded that the hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal Trump supporters share their wealth and give them some of their food...

"What!" cried the hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal Trump supporters in surprise, "haven't you stored anything away for the winter? What in the world were you doing all summer?"

"We didn't have time to store up any food,"said the dirty, corrupt, whining, discontented, freedom hating, starving, leftist, anti-Trump, establishment, communist sympathizing, marxist, socialist democrat; "We were busy butt fucking all of the other dirty, corrupt, whining, discontented, freedom hating, starving, leftist, anti-Trump, establishment, communist sympathizing, marxist, socialist democrats in an empty congressional chamber and then posting it on the internet; then, before we knew it, summer was gone, the election had been bought and paid for, and the economy was still in shambles...
...but at least Kamala is president now !!!"

The hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal Trump supporters shrugged their shoulders in disgust.

Then, President Kamala sent her weaponized DOJ, the IRS, and a bastion of dirty, smelling, starving, whining, entitled, leftist, anti-Trump, establishment, communist sympathizing, blue haired, Marxist, socialist democrats against the hard working, conservative, right leaning, loyal, Trump supporters to riot and burn their neighborhoods in a deadly series of "peaceful protests" until there was nothing left but violence, misery, poverty, and chaos...
...and the Limousine Liberals that launched their coup against a frail and mentally compromised old man, and then used corruption and deceit to fixed the election so they could finally take full control of the country and usher in an era of leftist tyranny - lived happily ever after - on the backs of a nation full of gullible fools.

The End



...the rest, they say, is history.

sg1987
09-27-2024, 13:08
First , extremely well done as usual, sir.

Second, I’m terribly afraid that this is accurate and will be the end of the story.:(

Box
09-27-2024, 13:38
I’m terribly afraid that this is accurate and will be the end of the story...

That's why I post stuff like this in "The Comedy zone" - I can pretend that the story isn't real.

Roguish Lawyer
10-02-2024, 07:49
That's why I post stuff like this in "The Comedy zone" - I can pretend that the story isn't real.

:mad:

Box
10-02-2024, 11:34
No frown emojis in the comedy zone - only happy faces and good "vibes"...

(i use the word vibe because it is all the rage with the talking head left leaning TV show hosts right now)

Badger52
10-02-2024, 19:43
No frown emojis in the comedy zone - only happy faces and good "vibes"...

(i use the word vibe because it is all the rage with the talking head left leaning TV show hosts right now)
Sergeant Oddball Approved ™ :D

Roguish Lawyer
10-03-2024, 17:09
No frown emojis in the comedy zone - only happy faces and good "vibes"...

(i use the word vibe because it is all the rage with the talking head left leaning TV show hosts right now)

That's an angry emoji, based on the story being real.

:cool:

bblhead672
10-07-2024, 09:01
Oh, Uncle Box, your stories have become dark and gloomy.

Is there perhaps a chance for the Hard Working, Conservative, Right Leaning, Trump Supporting, Ant to vote himself out of this mess by re-electing Republicans? :D

:munchin

Box
10-07-2024, 10:01
I don't know.
Who exactly are these "Republicans" that you speak of?

Names like Collins, Romney, Bush, McCain, Cheney, Burr, Kasich, and even some guy named Pence are all associated with this strange breed of politician that you are referring to and yet, I just don't think those "republicans" are going to get us there.

Alas, poor Republicans!
I knew them, bblhead672.
A party of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.
They hath borne me on their back a thousand times.
...but now, how abhorred in my imagination they are!

My gorge rises at it.
Here hung their lies that I have believed as truth I know not how oft.

Where be their gibes now...
...their gambols
...their songs
...their flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar?

Not one now, to mock their own grinning?


Just a final thought - for those of you that only recognize the "Alas Poor Yorick" portion of my silliness - what did Yorick do before suffering decades of death, decay, corruption, and lifelessness in his dirty muddy grave?

He was the Kings Jester...
...just like the current crop of "Republicans" poluting the halls of power in permanent DC

A band of hapless court jesters loyal to the king - but not the court.




Ah yes, "Republicans"

bblhead672
10-08-2024, 06:13
The GOP - screwing up America since 1854.