View Full Version : I think I found a new career path !!!
So - it finally happened..................
Trying to get some sleep when the flight attendant comes over the cabin loudspeaker asking for a doctor. Nothing but blank stares and a few mildly panicked faces as people looked around wondering what the hell was going on.
I thought to myself - what the hell - it's now or never - so I hopped out of my seat and sauntered up to the flight attendant to offer my services to find out that a passenger in the 1st class section was choking to death.
Long story short - at 36,000 feet in the air I did an emergency tracheotomy using nothing but a nail file and a ballpoint pen.
Blood was everywhere, my shoes are ruined, the dead guys family is probably going to sue the pants off of the airline, and now I know that it is a really bad idea to try a medical procedure that you saw in a low budget action movie...
Regardless, it was an exhilarating experience and the energy from all of the blood and screaming was quite a rush - I'm considering a career in health care now that my feet are back on the ground !!!
You left out the part about getting his first class seat, meal, and free drinks! :lifter
Wow Box, but we need a the full story in AAR detail. The expression on the face of the person as you calmly explained what you were about to do with the nail file, etc, etc,. the flight attendant reaction, all the good stuff....
Wow Box, but we need a the full story in AAR detail. The expression on the face of the person as you calmly explained what you were about to do with the nail file, etc, etc,. the flight attendant reaction, all the good stuff....
For a guy that was choking to death, he just wouldn't sit still, he fought every step of the way trying to tell me he was "fine" but I knew how serious this situation was...
...some kid behind me that kept yelling "persona equivocada" and I gotta tell ya' it really started to get on my nerves - I wish the kids grandpa would have told him to shut up, but grandpa was slumped over his tray, sleeping like a log - the kid should have been worried about getting his grandpa a blanket - it was so cold in that plane that the old mans lips were turning blue !!
I'll tell you what; you'd be surprised at how calm, cool, and collected you feel in a crisis after five or six mini-bottles full of Black Label Jack Daniels.
...as you can imagine, that much liquor does make you want to fight - so on my way off the plane, I kicked that old man in his shin as hard as I could for not handling his rude-assed grand kid - can you believe he was still sleeping after all that commotion - as hard as I kicked that old bastard, he didn't move one bit ???
His grand kid was an emotional wreck from all the excitement - he's probably just never seen an SF guy do field medicine up close before.
persona equivocada
:D:D:D:D
miclo18d
03-05-2020, 05:08
Yeah, but was the stewardess hot?
Yeah, but was the stewardess hot?
I now wish I had purchased the water (coffee) -proof case for my iPad. LoL
The coffee was hot but I did not judge the 'hotness' of the FLIGHT ATTENDANT because Stewardess is a gender specific term and I am the personification of professional social behavior; a paragon of social justice; the embodiment of dignity and grace under pressure; the quintessential common-man-turned-hero; and yes... the very essence of humility
I would have NEVER been so bold as to assume the gender of a flight attendant without a proper discussion held in a safe space at an appropriate time and shame on you for bringing gender into this thread.
...besides I was blind drunk on Jack Daniels and now that I have had a chance to sober up - I'm not even sure I was on an airplane when this all went down. I have a bizarre charge on my credit card for a round trip bus ticket to Cherokee North Carolina and a handful of poker chips from Harrah's Cherokee Casino Resort.
I think for legal reasons I may have to stop posting in this thread.
rsdengler
03-05-2020, 08:30
So - it finally happened..................
Long story short - at 36,000 feet in the air I did an emergency tracheotomy using nothing but a nail file and a ballpoint pen.
Did you at least get your ballpoint pen back? :D
Trapper John
03-05-2020, 12:52
So - it finally happened..................
Long story short - at 36,000 feet in the air I did an emergency tracheotomy using nothing but a nail file and a ballpoint pen.
Blood was everywhere, my shoes are ruined, the dead guys family is probably going to sue the pants off of the airline, and now I know that it is a really bad idea to try a medical procedure that you saw in a low budget action movie... I'm considering a career in health care now that my feet are back on the ground !!!
Well, that's what ya get trying to perform a tracheotomy instead of a chrico-thyroidotomy. But getting 10-20 for manslaughter should give enough time to pursue the new career choice. :D
Box
besides I was blind drunk on Jack Daniels and now that I have had a chance to sober up - I'm not even sure I was on an airplane when this all went down. I have a bizarre charge on my credit card for a round trip bus ticket to Cherokee North Carolina and a handful of poker chips from Harrah's Cherokee Casino Resort.
Long time ago 1985 iirc, I flew to London with my then business partner to look at securing a loan from his girlfriend father. My partner Kevin, was a former Marine Embassy Security Guard, known by their acronym MSG.
We board the plane and begin the party. There are vague memories of things like going to the US Embassy, standing outside a club, after having dinner at Le Gavroche, a three-star Michelin where Kevin whistled across the dining room for the sommelier to bring another bottle of bubbles, after having downed several btw the four of us. His girlfriend brought a friend, who was beyond hot, but an 1” removed from the corner of 42nd St. How we ended up at the club fails me, but not the act of ME guy who pulls up in a Ferrari. Exits the car thinking I’m the tuxedoed valet, tossing me the keys, jumping to the opportunity and blissful drove away in London traffic in the wrong lane, as only angels can navigate correctly under the influence, I somehow managed to return safely, tossing back the keys to an enraged man soaked in sweat. The party continued for two more days, until I was rolled out of the cab at Heathrow to catch by fight home, which I missed. There is a flash in my mind asking to be put on the next flight to NYC. The fight served Dom Runrit bubbles, landing in NYC is a blur, the cabs a blur, getting knocked out by my then wife is a blur.
She apparently felt it was my fault that the payment in-part to the construction guys who build the then restaurant, was to have a super bowl party. Unaware what their program was, my Chinese bush boy who live in our former apartment above the restaurant, called my ex-wife stating he needed more sheets. Yes, the guys brought some working girls, who it seems where dragged out by their hair by the ex. Not sure if that happened the day I arrived or a few days before, I do remember waking up naked looking at a brick wall trying to figure out where I was, only to discover I was outside the restaurant in the fenced backyard, for how long I’m uncertain. About a month later, my ex comes screaming at me about the CC bill for the missed flight, iirc $2600 dollars. Calling the airline complaining/enquiring about the charge. They ask her the flight number, I state it was 02, she tells the customer service rep 02, in less then a heartbeat she lets out a deafening scream: “The Concorde”.
Then the fight started.
True story.
Golf1echo
03-06-2020, 14:14
I think your Cool, as long as your not a Delta... you sound like a Bravo, so nothing to worry about :D:D