View Full Version : Divorce
Is there a procedural difference ending a marriage while on active duty, or is divorce strictly a civil matter before the court that only impacts distribution of pay and allowances?
The difference is, if your soon to be ex-wife is a bitch, she can really fuck up your career. My advice, be nice, be fair, and have the most ruthless lawyer you can afford.
x/S
Basenshukai
09-01-2018, 18:34
....and have the most ruthless lawyer you can afford.
x/S
In other words, hire a female lawyer. I did when I went through my divorce and it was the best decision ever.
The Reaper
09-01-2018, 19:07
IIRC, in most cases, the estranged spouse is entitled to all of the Service Member's Basic Allowance for Housing or his government furnished quarters until the case is adjudicated and a judge issues further guidance via court orders.
Where the Soldier then resides is an unanswered question.
See AR 608-99, unless it has changed.
Best of luck.
TR
In other words, hire a female lawyer. I did when I went through my divorce and it was the best decision ever.
I did the same thing and people were amazed how I made out....
Get legal representation....quickly. It is purely a "civil" issue; however, she can make your career implode. Support, especially when you have kids, is the issue for AD cats. Also, on-post housing is an issue for a wife and children. It generally goes to the wife and kids until the mess is sorted if things turn ugly.
AR 608-99 carries the general rule, but nowadays, many women make more than their husbands so there are some saving provisions within it to where a troop won't be forced to contribute if he can show that she makes more than he does.
Of course, if you can make this cordial/amicable, most problems go away.
Assume everything you do with her is being recorded; notes are being taken and anything you say will be misconstrued in the worst possible way. Take the high road....always. Bottom line, take care of the kids.
I left my lying whore and took with me nothing more than a coffee pot, a poncho liner and a pistol - I kid you not. I rebuilt my life after leaving her everything and getting stuck with all the debt. In the long run...I got the better deal.
This is exactly what I expected. Thank you all for your time, no further replies are necessary.
twistedsquid
09-02-2018, 14:21
I came back from Beirut and found the house abandoned. She took the baby and moved back home. I requested emergency leave and it was granted. She was appointed a military attorney and we met at West Point. She got her maternity clothes and vacuum cleaner.
TrapperFrank
09-02-2018, 16:27
My sympathy is with you. Good advice so far. All I would add is hire a lawyer that is in the "courthouse loop", do some research and hire the best legal representation possible. Do not skimp on this, starve if you have too. I didn't and it cost me in the long run.
sfshooter
09-03-2018, 10:29
…….Assume everything you do with her is being recorded; notes are being taken and anything you say will be misconstrued in the worst possible way. Take the high road....always. Bottom line, take care of the kids.
I left my lying whore and took with me nothing more than a coffee pot, a poncho liner and a pistol - I kid you not. I rebuilt my life after leaving her everything and getting stuck with all the debt. In the long run...I got the better deal.[/QUOTE]
I got my house with nothing in it and all her debt. I still came out ahead in the long run too. As everyone else has said...get a good attorney.
Best of luck.
Team Sergeant
09-09-2018, 22:07
The difference is, if your soon to be ex-wife is a bitch, she can really fuck up your career. My advice, be nice, be fair, and have the most ruthless lawyer you can afford.
x/S
You know I think we are blood related..............:munchin
I hope I'm not too late with this. We've all heard "He is his own worst enemy". The reverse is also true. YOU are your best friend during a divorce.
I was fortunate enough to have the time to plan before filing for divorce from my @$&%^## ex-wife. Looking at the various laws (US Code) concerning how federal sources would interpret certain phrases saved me a fortune.
My attorney ,(also a good friend) was well acquainted with the general laws and procedures in my state. Like the ex's attorney, he was a "general divorce attorney". When I looked at the wording in the proposed settlement written by the ex's attorney, it seemed fair to both me and my attorney. He gritted his teeth when I told him that I needed "these two words" removed, "this word changed to that. "
That was not vindictive, nor was I trying to gain a bit here and there. Inside the federal procedures was exact guidance concerning how certain phrases that *sounded* similar would be interpreted. Neither attorney was a specialist in federal benefits. I had taken the time to become one.
My conversation with my complaining attorney ended with "OK, Jerrry, if this were YOUR $350,000 (the increased portion paid to me instead of her, over the following 15 years), would you make the change?"
You are your best friend.
TS:
I am still on wife #1. Everything I know about getting a divorce while on AD I learned by listening to SF_BHT.
x/S
TS:
I am still on wife #1. Everything I know about getting a divorce while on AD I learned by listening to SF_BHT.
x/S
Practice Practice Practice.......
rsdengler
10-24-2018, 10:01
Wow....why do most women have to be such bitches about this? Sorry, but I would never do that, that's why I still have all my bank accounts & credit cards in my name. I only want what I came in with to the marriage, and get the damn house taken care of. I would not want anything else; I don't want to make it complicated. I basically would just want out and hopefully fast.. Hardest part would be deciding if I have the confidence to go through with it, and where I could afford to go......decisions, decisions........Gosh, good luck in that endeavor.......:lifter
rsdengler
11-12-2018, 07:12
Penn, I hope you found the answers you were looking for in all this. Ha, I am now going through the same thing, but as a civilian. And, I finally made up my mind....doing the leg work now, going to speak to a lawyer soon.
But like I stated before, I want the easiest, and fastest way out. I just hope he doesn't make my life difficult or plans to be nasty about this. I don't think I could coop with that. I'm on my own with this; no family around to back me up, that is the hardest part right about now. I finally realized it is the right thing to do, and I really do not want to be unfair to my other half in all of this. After all, I do have feelings, and I am sure he is having a hard time with this as I am.
Wow, it's difficult but I think I have a preplan. The only thing I am worried about is finding a place to live. Ahhhh, because I won't be staying in my house. :o
rsdengler
12-11-2018, 08:25
Does anyone know about "Marital Settlement Agreements" ? I was wondering if someone could give me some advice. Thanks...:D