PDA

View Full Version : “I think these new ‘sommeliers’ are idiots”


Divemaster
06-24-2015, 14:09
At least the craft beer world stole the name Cicerone for their "experts".


There’s now a ‘sommelier’ for everything, including hot sauce, mustard and honey
BY GINA PACE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS Monday, June 22, 2015, 7:23 PM

http://nydn.us/1CtJZmY

There's a store on the Upper West Side with a mustard sommelier. There’s a store in Williamsburg with a hot sauce sommelier. And there’s even a beekeeper who calls herself a honey sommelier.

Tea, beer, olive oil and Colorado pot are getting the “We have a sommelier” treatment.

It’s enough to make you want to call a real sommelier — to select the perfect Riesling to accompany your outrage.

“I think these new ‘sommeliers’ are idiots,” says John Fischer, a professor at the Culinary Institute of America. “The word is just being bandied about completely incorrectly. (If) you call yourself a sommelier, at least do a job that’s involving wine.”

The French word “sommelier” does indeed translate as “wine waiter,” not “person with better-than-average knowledge of a food, drink, sweetener or cooking oil” — but that’s exactly how the Gallic concept is being cheapened.

Of course, these self-styled sommeliers are quick to defend themselves against the charge that they’re merely glomming onto centuries of French tradition to sell condiments.

After all, they’ll say, the difference between a Sicilian olive oil and one from Tuscany is just as subtle as distinguishing between a Barolo and a Brunello — and consumers are just as likely to need a professional guide.

“Olive oil, like wine, has yearly vintages and regions,” says Nicholas Coleman, who hawks 100 varieties of the slippery stuff at Eataly. “If it just said ‘red wine’ on the bottle, how could you possibly make an educated purchase?”

Coleman’s official title is “chief oleologist” — though it appears he was the one who coined the word to lend scientific sheen to his work as an oil sommelier. But Coleman has the bona fides to back it up: He survived a grueling 16-round, two-day certification test that required him to sniff out varying levels of defects in 12 unmarked glasses of oil.

The glasses were blue to make it even harder.

Marina Marchese, the beekeeper and self-described honey sommelier, also said she underwent rigorous training — in Italy! — to become an expert in the “sensory analysis of honey.” The Weston, Conn., expert freely uses the term “honey sommelier,” citing her two books on the subject and her ability to tell chefs the difference between honey made with different flowers. Blueberry blossom honey is the best to serve with ricotta, pine nuts and mint, whereas buckwheat honey goes better with a hazelnut gelato.

Few of today’s pseudo-somms have that level of certified expertise.

Chris Cason, the so-called tea sommelier who co-founded the wholesale and mail-order company Tavalon a decade ago, says he was one of the first outside of wine to use the term. His South Hackensack company now creates custom tea blends for restaurants including Morimoto and Buddakan. He’s open about why he uses the term “sommelier” instead of, say, “tea lover.”

"I didn't want my role to just be an expert,” says Cason, who wrote “A Guide to Tea” several years ago. “I wanted to approach this in a way that’s different than most people do. We look at menus and we do pairings that go with the food, and we realized this is basically what a wine sommelier does.”

Minus the formal education and certification exams, of course.

Earlier this year, Noah Chaimberg opened Heatonist in Williamsburg, a shop entirely devoted to selling hot sauce. Chaimberg can certainly recommend the perfect pain for whatever food his customers are eating. Grilled salmon? Chaimburg recommends the Tears of the Sun from High River sauces because it has sweet fruit including papaya, pineapple and mango. Grilled cheese? Go with Habanero Carrot Curry from Marshall’s Haute Sauce because the mild sweetness of the carrots and white balsamic vinegar will make the creamy cheese shine.

Does that make him a sommelier? He thinks so.

“We don’t want to offer the same thing you could get a grocery store,” he says.

Neither does the Maille mustard shop on the Upper West Side, but the store’s sommelier doesn’t go around calling herself one (well, sort of).

“I absolutely respect wine sommeliers and I’m not saying I am one because it takes years to get certified,” says Pierette Huttner, who nonetheless goes on to celebrate her sommelier street cred because she helps customers pick the perfect spread for mac and cheese (whole-grain chardonnay mustard) or eggs (sweet and spicy sun-dried tomato, espelette pepper and white wine).

“(We have an) educational aspect,” she says. “We encourage people to taste the mustard alone on a wooden spoon, and understand the nuances and what you would pair it with.”

Fortunately, some real sommeliers are fighting the good fight to defend the word “sommelier” and the rigid requirements for which it stands.

“The meaning has changed,” says Jason Wagner, general manager for Fung Tu on the Lower East Side and a bona fide sommelier thanks to a stressful certification test.

“Now the word ‘sommelier’ has become shorthand for being an expert in the field.”

And we have plenty of words for that — except, of course, sommelier.

Team Sergeant
06-24-2015, 14:40
At least the craft beer world stole the name Cicerone for their "experts".



I might be a little crazy, but if I brewed beer my "experts" would be my customers........


The gods truth, the wine industry only has sommeliers because 50-75% of the wealthy consumers are idiots and need to be told what is "good".

Same goes for mustard, tea, beer and olive oil...... :rolleyes:

Check out food "critics", most are clueless idiots most of them would not know the difference between a tampon and a tapenade, yet they have "jobs" telling folks how good or how bad someone's food is..... and again, my customers would be my critics and my "experts"......

Then again they may have something cause we've become a nation of idiots.....

chance
06-24-2015, 15:02
“Now the word ‘sommelier’ has become shorthand for being an expert in the field.”

Because everyone wants to be a special little snowflake.:rolleyes:

Team Sergeant
06-24-2015, 15:15
“Now the word ‘sommelier’ has become shorthand for being an expert in the field.”

Because everyone wants to be a special little snowflake.:rolleyes:

That's where the term "operator" came from...... :munchin

Flagg
06-24-2015, 15:25
I might be a little crazy, but if I brewed beer my "experts" would be my customers........


The gods truth, the wine industry only has sommeliers because 50-75% of the wealthy consumers are idiots and need to be told what is "good".

Same goes for mustard, tea, beer and olive oil...... :rolleyes:

Check out food "critics", most are clueless idiots most of them would not know the difference between a tampon and a tapenade, yet they have "jobs" telling folks how good or how bad someone's food is..... and again, my customers would be my critics and my "experts"......

Then again they may have something cause we've become a nation of idiots.....

Agreed.

We have a celebrity chef down here named Al Brown who's been tied in with a "Made to Match" website for helping people match beer with food:

http://madetomatch.co.nz/Food-Matches

They do the odd TV commercial pairing up a main meal food dish with a beer.

We're a small market, so it's hard for our "celebrities" to live off just the TV appearance fees alone, they've got to do the actual "hard yards" in their own kitchens too.

Nothing pretentious, they just seem to be trying to help folks match a good beer with a good home cooked meal. I think it works pretty well without the pretentiousness that seems to surround food at times with silly elitist foodie class structures.

I'd rather have a BBQ at a mate's place who really enjoys trying to put on the best meal for his guests than some kabuki food theatre.

I don't think I've ever eaten at a restaurant with a full time sommelier.

If I unknowingly did, they probably gave me a wide berth sensing my wallet doesn't open up for silliness(which I assume includes hefty commissions for pushing the pricey stuff).


The only time I ever order wine in a restaurant is if it's red and cheap to go with a good venison steak. :)

-----

There is one expert grouping that I think is absolutely necessary for health and safety:

Hot Sauce Subject Matter Experts

It would have been nice to have one around the first time I had some ghost pepper sauce.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0kVbXvId3A

Divemaster
06-24-2015, 16:50
I might be a little crazy, but if I brewed beer my "experts" would be my customers........

This.

chance
06-24-2015, 18:39
That's where the term "operator" came from...... :munchin

I was told by an old Team Sergeant that the term "Operator" came from someone that was in a Specialized unit that had multiple MOS's. i.e. Delta. Not for someone that holds a single MOS, i.e. 18B

Team Sergeant
06-25-2015, 10:27
I was told by an old Team Sergeant that the term "Operator" came from someone that was in a Specialized unit that had multiple MOS's. i.e. Delta. Not for someone that holds a single MOS, i.e. 18B

LOL, you're slaying me. Delta is not an MOS producing unit. Most Rangers there have only one MOS. And it was the delta rangers that coined the phrase "operators" and because they wanted a special name, just like that snowflake. ;)

Now let's get back to the topic at hand, "I think these new ‘sommeliers’ are idiots" .

I think food critics are idiots too.

chance
06-25-2015, 11:05
Whats your thoughts on "foodies"?:rolleyes: That's another group of idiots I can't stand.

Team Sergeant
06-25-2015, 11:06
Whats your thoughts on "foodies"?:rolleyes:

Define foodies?

PedOncoDoc
06-25-2015, 11:07
Define foodies?

Just like furries, only with a different theme for their costumes? :D

Guy
06-25-2015, 11:18
Define foodies?A motherfucker who can't figure out that, your "customer base" are, the people that whom eat your cooking and decides whether you live or die in the cooking/restauranteur world?:D

chance
06-25-2015, 13:49
Define foodies?

best definition I found was on Urban Dictionary.

TOP DEFINITION
Foodie
A douchebag who likes food.
Douchebag - "I'm a big foodie."
Non-doucher - "Really? I like food too, but I'm not a tool.":lifter
by Archer in Chicago May 17, 2011

Team Sergeant
06-26-2015, 09:26
best definition I found was on Urban Dictionary.

TOP DEFINITION
Foodie
A douchebag who likes food.
Douchebag - "I'm a big foodie."
Non-doucher - "Really? I like food too, but I'm not a tool.":lifter
by Archer in Chicago May 17, 2011

Probably written by someone that cannot boil water, eats Pappa Johns pizza daily and still lives in their mothers basement.

There's millions that share a passion for good food, from it's origin to plating. I would not refer to them as douchebags. Well unless you want to continue to eat PB&J for the rest of your lives....

mark46th
06-26-2015, 17:07
I would love to have a beer sommelier explain to my why Corona is such a good beer that it needs a lime wedge to make it taste good.

Team Sergeant
06-26-2015, 18:52
I would love to have a beer sommelier explain to my why Corona is such a good beer that it needs a lime wedge to make it taste good.

Some "metrosexual's" idea I'm sure......

Divemaster
06-26-2015, 19:08
I would love to have a beer sommelier explain to my why Corona is such a good beer that it needs a lime wedge to make it taste good.

To cover up the flavor destroying effects of the clear glass bottle.

G Wheeler II
06-27-2015, 07:35
Back when 5th Forward was first at Bliss, I was told the lime wedge was just used to help kill bacteria on the bottle tops caused by the impure ice used to keep the beer cold by street venders. If true I guess it works because I never got the shits drinking any, well for that matter I ate from those same places and never got sick...

JJ_BPK
06-27-2015, 07:43
Back when 5th Forward was first at Bliss, I was told the lime wedge was just used to help kill bacteria on the bottle tops caused by the impure ice used to keep the beer cold by street venders. If true I guess it works because I never got the shits drinking any, well for that matter I ate from those same places and never got sick...

I heard the same story at Brown's Bar, Alice Town, Bimini, in the 60t's..

BUT not on FaceBook,, must be urban folklore??

:munchin

Box
06-27-2015, 07:59
Sommelier is just a fancy word for pompous asshole...
...not that I have any grief against pompous assholes


Submitted for review...
If I am at a bar and my associate is drinking something different than what I have and I ask, "How is that?"
...and his answer is, "Well, there is a spirit of spicy hops, with a touch of pear drop fruit and hop resins on the aroma, enhanced by a burnt fruit sensation with light hints of rich chocolate, you can feel the chewy grain and peppery hops in the mouth, followed by a long, bittersweet finish with a rich dark malt, ripe fruit and a light chocolate note."

...well, then he is a pompous asshole.

Just tell me the shit tastes good...
...or that it is really bitter
...or that it tastes a little like chocolate
...or DUDE this is the fucking bomb... let me get you one

Or tell me... "this stuff tastes like wet pumpernickel bread - stick with bud light and dont waste your money"

but that rich note, mouth-feel, fruit forward, peppery finish type of bullshit?
Forgetaboutit.

GOOOOOOO.FUCK.YA'SELF


In closing, I think these new sommeliers are idiots.

Team Sergeant
06-27-2015, 10:18
Back when 5th Forward was first at Bliss, I was told the lime wedge was just used to help kill bacteria on the bottle tops caused by the impure ice used to keep the beer cold by street venders. If true I guess it works because I never got the shits drinking any, well for that matter I ate from those same places and never got sick...

I think that might work if: they wiped down the entire bottle with a whole lime. Actually cleaned the glasses they pour it into and the bottle opener itself was a sterile instrument.

I have a food safety managers certificate, I know what contamination is and how to stop it, and the lime story isn't cutting the mustard.....;)

G Wheeler II
06-27-2015, 17:14
:cool:Sommelier is just a fancy word for pompous asshole...
...not that I have any grief against pompous assholes:p


Well Billy you would know about assholes you served with one I looked at while shaving this morning,,,, And age has not made him smell any better.


As for the lime deal it may be a bunch of bull shit, but I hope no one minds if I keep on doing it.....:boohoo Besides who in the hell uses a glass in Mexico, Well except for Tequila that is....... then no worries about germs.....:cool:

Box
06-27-2015, 18:44
I dont remember us drinking Bordeaux or Burgundy in the team room and I certainly don't remember us ever discussing the hoppy-goodness of cheap beer either!!!
I think we'd have been laughed out of the battalion over such nonsense

...and I'm with you on the Lime and Coronas.

Divemaster
06-27-2015, 20:36
There is no hoppy goodness in cheap beer, no wonder you didn't discuss it. :D :lifter

G Wheeler II
06-28-2015, 05:19
There is no hoppy goodness in cheap beer, no wonder you didn't discuss it. :D :lifter

Yea you got that right we mostly settled for wet and hoped for cold..:D

mark46th
07-02-2015, 20:18
I quit worrying about bacteria in food. After I came home from two years in Southeast Asia, I had to go to Mexico to get regular.

Team Sergeant
07-03-2015, 08:30
I quit worrying about bacteria in food. After I came home from two years in Southeast Asia, I had to go to Mexico to get regular.

Bingo.......

Same thoughts here concerning the foods in Asia.......