View Full Version : How to cook a F&*K**$ Steak
Snaquebite
11-17-2014, 11:12
Almost posted this in the Gourmet Guerrilla but....
http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak
Trapper John
11-17-2014, 11:36
That is funny as shit there Brother. I am so going to share that with my bud who is a f'n master of grilling steaks and swears by his $3000 Green Egg smoker grill. Now don't get me wrong, he and it do a wonderful job, but this post just takes prize. Love it! :D
Team Sergeant
11-17-2014, 12:48
He leaves out a lot for the perfect steak. This is not a method I'd use for a great steak....... but it was funny.
Streck-Fu
11-17-2014, 13:04
Funny as shit to read......but sadly, linked under that is : LINK (http://www.theawl.com/2014/10/why-my-baby-doesnt-eat-animals) and I wanted to choke her through the monitor.
Then I remembered that the burgers I made last night (much like the steak) were delicious and my 2 boys devoured the ever loving cow out of them...with sharp cheddar cheese of course.
LOL, I actually had a grill guy like that, crazy as hell, he lasted half a shift, I remember him asking how I could fire him, "I am a great grill man"!!!
The grill is outside on the patio, surrounded by 8 perfect tables. All I could hear through the kitchen window was him cursing and asking clients how the steak was.. My wife reminded me, that I should not have hired him. It was a long ride home.
He leaves out a lot for the perfect steak. This is not a method I'd use for a great steak....... but it was funny.
So what did he leave out? I'm okay at grilling steaks, but I would like to get better.
Streck-Fu
11-18-2014, 05:34
So what did he leave out? I'm okay at grilling steaks, but I would like to get better.
Start by cooking over a hot fire. Hardwood charcoal rather than briquettes... Make it hot enough to sear the outside and knock the chill off the inside only. The steak should be at least 1" thick so cook for 3 min per side. Remove from heat, cover with sheet of foil, and let rest for 5 minutes. Serve.
:D
Team Sergeant
11-18-2014, 14:19
So what did he leave out? I'm okay at grilling steaks, but I would like to get better.
I am such a "carnivore" that every time someone tells me they are "vegan" I smile and think, "good more meat for me"......;)
When I eat a great steak all I want for dessert is more steak.
I will start a thread and it will be titled: How to cook a Steak. ;)
miclo18d
11-18-2014, 19:41
I am such a "carnivore" that every time someone tells me they are "vegan" I smile and think, "good more meat for me"......;)
This is what got me through SFAS! When we started you had enough time to get your meal, shove it down your throat, throw your paper plate in the garbage, and get to formation.
Every time I saw someone quit during land nav, especially during the test (Jan in the rain; there were truck loads of guys that were quitting) all I could think was how much more time I would have to actually sit and eat my meal!
Break break break
I just tried a new technique by putting the steak in the oven at about 250 deg for about 15 minutes (90 deg internal temp) THEN searing the out side in a pan (I cook to about 115-120 deg). Very crisp outside, very nice and red on the inside.
Oven-sear-sear instead of Sear-sear-oven
miclo18d, after you sear it, before the oven, let it rest for 5 minutes or so, then put it in the oven, it will be even better.
miclo18d
11-19-2014, 07:20
miclo18d, after you sear it, before the oven, let it rest for 5 minutes or so, then put it in the oven, it will be even better.
Thanks will try! It's so hard to rest your steak! I just love to eat it ASAP!
DJ Urbanovsky
11-19-2014, 12:13
Start consuming single malt scotch.
Pre-heat your oven to 450F.
On the stove, get your cast iron pan. You do have a cast iron pan, don't you?
Get the pan hot.
Pan sear presentation side of steak, 60 seconds.
Flip.
Pan sear side two of steak, 60 seconds.
Grab steak with tongs.
Pan sear the edges, 60 seconds (that's total, not 60 seconds per edge).
All of those vital juices are locked inside now.
Place the steak back into the pan, presentation side up.
Place the pan into the 450F oven.
Leave it alone until it's at your desired level of done-ness. 145F internal temp is medium. About ten minutes for that with an inch and a half thick steak.
Remove pan from oven, place steak on plate, covered, and let it rest for five to ten minutes.
Devour.
On what to put on it, do whatever you like. All it really needs is salt and pepper, but you can get as fancy is you like. And don't be chintzy with the salt. It's hard to overseason a good steak.
Excellent
Except the problem with your first step (start consuming single malt scotch) is that it leads you to forgetting the last step (turn off the stove and oven)... :p
I hope our upcoming steak thread also contains some optional marinade information. :lifter