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View Full Version : 10 Science jokes for NERDS


Sdiver
10-01-2014, 18:47
1. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

3. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

4. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”.
“Time travel”
“When do we want it?”.
“Irrelevant.”

7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.

9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”

10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

Rumblyguts
10-01-2014, 19:47
Numbers 1-5 sound like something from Steven Wright :)

Airbornelawyer
10-05-2014, 09:00
Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding:

Cop: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg: "No, but I know exactly where I am."

The Reaper
10-05-2014, 09:15
Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding:

Cop: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg: "No, but I know exactly where I am."

Great one.

TR

NurseTim
10-05-2014, 09:35
René Descartes walks into a bar. The bar tender says "rené, want a beer?" René replies "I think not." Then disappears.

Peregrino
10-05-2014, 10:18
A computer programmer is told by his wife, "Go to the supermarket and pick up two loaves of bread. If they have eggs, get twelve."

He comes back with twelve loaves of bread.

LMAO! Thank you.

Trapper John
10-05-2014, 10:27
Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding:

Cop: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg: "No, but I know exactly where I am."

Now I don't care who ya are, that's funny rat there! :)

Trapper John
10-05-2014, 10:28
A computer programmer is told by his wife, "Go to the supermarket and pick up two loaves of bread. If they have eggs, get twelve."

He comes back with twelve loaves of bread.

LMAO :D

GratefulCitizen
10-05-2014, 10:28
Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar.
Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, ‘Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it's funny or not?’
Gödel replies, ‘We can't know that because we're inside the joke.’
Chomsky says, ‘Of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong.'

Sdiver
10-05-2014, 10:34
There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don’t.

Box
10-05-2014, 10:47
A bunch of smart people tell a joke...
...I dont get it.

Peregrino
10-05-2014, 12:19
A bunch of smart people tell a joke...
...I dont get it.

Somehow I doubt they "get" you/us either. ;)

Saoirse
10-05-2014, 12:30
Love these! LOL
Thanks for the laughs today. :munchin