A Lazy Mind...

[Naaman]

One thing my time in the military taught me was how to harness mental fortitude in order to overcome physical limitations. The idea of "just do it" or "make it happen," is a daily reality. No excuses.

Since I have been through this, I have learned to approach problems with a victor's mindset: the task may currently be beyond my capability, but nothing says it has to stay that way.

The problem I run into, though, is trying to impart this mentality to my son. He seems to shun a challenge of any kind. Even challenges that require no physical effort on his part (like solving a simple riddle). It seems that, if he cannot comprehend an immediate pay-off, it's not worth it to him. He's a lot smarter than anyone ever gives him credit for (and he has learned to milk this, taking the path of least resistance, playing on others' perceptions of his apparent ineptitude). I just can't seem to help him understand that there is so much more to life than personal gratification.

Any other dads out there been through this? Any success stories of how you/your kids overcame it?

[cat in the hat]

I just can't seem to help him understand that there is so much more to life than personal gratification.\

a legitimate argument can be made to say that personal gratification is the root of all human endeavor. some people live for a challenge. (many of them on this forum), some people find gratification in doing good deeds for others, some seek; power, money, sex, leisure....

maybe try to demonstrate that he has to work for something he wants. TANSTAAFL

[cetheridge]

The problem I run into, though, is trying to impart this mentality to my son.

How old is your "son".....?
4 y/o.....pre-school
6 y/o.....1st grade
10 y/o....?
13 y/o....teenager (7th/8th grade)
18 y/o....high school senior (has drivers license)
21 y/o....can legally buy beer, but doesn't have sense enough to pour it out of a boot with directions written on the heel.
25 y/o....college graduate, no job (or possibly has a job) living at home with parents.

Different ages...different approaches!

[booker]

maybe try to demonstrate that he has to work for something he wants. TANSTAAFL

That is the best thing you can do is to make him actually put forth the effort. It's going to suck at first to be around him as he navigates this "whole new experience" but you absolutely cannot step back and let him continue to be a part of the instant gratification crowd (i.e., like all his friends). For those folks with young kids, the best thing you can do is start this early. Stoicism isn't dead, it just isn't popular with most of the folks who are obsessed with the YOLO mindset.

I have TNSTAAFL (took the ain't out of it) in big letters on the wall of my home gym. It's a reminder to anyone who comes it that the work is the start of the reward.

[Naaman]

Thanks everyone. Seems like I just have to keep my nose to the grindstone with him and try new things until something sticks.