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Jessilm
04-09-2014, 22:26
I tried searching through the other threads, and couldn't really find what I am looking for.

Truthfully, I just want advice in how to best make my fiancée feel supported. In my intro post, I said I'm an army brat, and my dad told me that it all boils down to the one rule of "don't be a distraction." That rule spans schools, training, deployments, everything.

But I was wondering if there were better ways (more specific to supporting someone going through the Q course, not just ways to handle someone who is simply "in the military") And, while I know he hasn't made it through yet, what my "job" is after he graduates. Right now, I am wedding planning, and we've decided that I will handle it and he will basically show up, say his line, and leave with a new wife. We've timed it while he's going to be on a hold, but I've also told all our friends and family that it could change right up to the day of. I send letters and care packages and make sure not to pressure him for time that he will be studying to be spent on the phone with me... I just know there's more I can do for him, and from the reading I've done on this forum, if there were ever a group of people who would give honest, no BS answers, it would be this group...

I know the SOF community divorce rate is exceptionally high, and I want to do my best to prevent that from happening to he and I. Anything would be helpful!

Team Sergeant
04-09-2014, 22:32
I think you're over thinking this......

All he needs to know is that you stand behind him 100% and you can tell him the very same thing he will be told time and time again during the course;

"Do the best you can".

We ask no more and no less.

PRB
04-09-2014, 22:44
What the TS said and expect him to be somewhat distracted during training when he is home or communicating long distance. That is normal so don't take it personally or think you are what's making him in that mood.
Do not assume anything about his experience or what is making him tick at present, if you have a question ask so you'll be dealing with reality and not an imagined circumstance.
Support him as you'd like to be supported.
Communicate.
Enjoy the experience as this is a magnificent time in both of your lives.

Peregrino
04-09-2014, 22:53
Listen to your dad; he knows whereof he speaks. Sad truth is, not being a distraction will be a full time and difficult job. There's a lot to "joining the military" as a spouse that will be virtually impossible without your husband's active involvement/participation. You will also have to make a lot of decisions in a hurry and many of them will be made by yourself - easy ones like where to live, hard ones like when to start a family. Forewarned is forearmed. Good luck.