BMT (RIP)
03-20-2014, 07:47
A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE AIRPORT, WAITING FOR HER FLIGHT TO CHICAGO'S
O'HARE AIRPORT.
SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES
THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, "I'LL GIVE IT A TRY
AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME."
SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT HER
NICKEL IN, OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128
LBS, AND YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO."
THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN. SHE TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY
GIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE
MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT SO SHE DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN SHE WENT BACK TO
THE MACHINE AND AGAIN PUT HER NICKEL IN, AND OUTCAME A CARD THAT
READ:
"YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND . . .
YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE."
THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, "I KNOW THAT IS WRONG. I HAVE NEVER PLAYED
A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT--EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE." SHE SAT BACK DOWN.
FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER AND SAT DOWN, PUTTING HIS
FIDDLE CASE ON THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM. WITHOUT THINKING, SHE OPENED
THE COWBOY'S CASE, TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE, AND STARTED PLAYING BEAUTIFUL
MUSIC. SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE
MACHINE, THINKING, "THIS IS INCREDIBLE, I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS
AGAIN."
BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER
CARD CAME OUT. IT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE
GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND." NOW SHE KNOWS THE
MACHINE IS WRONG, AS SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF, "I'VE NEVER BROKEN WIND
IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE." BUT GETTING DOWN OFF THE MACHINE
SHE SLIPPED, AND AS SHE WAS STRAINING TO KEEP HERSELF FROM FALLING TO
THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND.
ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND LOOKED AT THE MACHINE.
SHE SAID TO HERSELF, "THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE. I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS
AGAIN". SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL AND
ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT.
IT READ: "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU HAVE FIDDLED AND
FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CHICAGO ."
BMT
O'HARE AIRPORT.
SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES
THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, "I'LL GIVE IT A TRY
AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME."
SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT HER
NICKEL IN, OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128
LBS, AND YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO."
THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN. SHE TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY
GIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE
MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT SO SHE DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN SHE WENT BACK TO
THE MACHINE AND AGAIN PUT HER NICKEL IN, AND OUTCAME A CARD THAT
READ:
"YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND . . .
YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE."
THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, "I KNOW THAT IS WRONG. I HAVE NEVER PLAYED
A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT--EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE." SHE SAT BACK DOWN.
FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER AND SAT DOWN, PUTTING HIS
FIDDLE CASE ON THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM. WITHOUT THINKING, SHE OPENED
THE COWBOY'S CASE, TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE, AND STARTED PLAYING BEAUTIFUL
MUSIC. SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE
MACHINE, THINKING, "THIS IS INCREDIBLE, I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS
AGAIN."
BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER
CARD CAME OUT. IT READ, "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE
GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND." NOW SHE KNOWS THE
MACHINE IS WRONG, AS SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF, "I'VE NEVER BROKEN WIND
IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE." BUT GETTING DOWN OFF THE MACHINE
SHE SLIPPED, AND AS SHE WAS STRAINING TO KEEP HERSELF FROM FALLING TO
THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND.
ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND LOOKED AT THE MACHINE.
SHE SAID TO HERSELF, "THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE. I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS
AGAIN". SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL AND
ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT.
IT READ: "YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU HAVE FIDDLED AND
FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CHICAGO ."
BMT